Read the following text and write an article of not less than 800 words as required. (60 points)
Two children got an orange, and they scrambled to eat it. Finally, an agreement was reached that one child was responsible for cutting oranges and the other child could choose the cut oranges first. They each got half of the oranges according to the agreed method and took them home happily. Children go home, peel off half an orange, throw it away, and squeeze the pulp into juice to drink. Another child went home, dug out the pulp and threw it away, leaving the skin to be ground, mixed with flour and baked into cakes.
What kind of association or sentiment did the above words trigger? Please write an article according to your association or feelings, no less than 800 words.
Ask for the right angle, clear thinking, choose your own style and draw up your own title; Don't deviate from the content and meaning of the material, don't copy it, and don't copy it.
Thinking guidance
This is a new material composition test. The material is selected from the column "Stones from Other Mountains" in the sixth edition of China Education News on June 24th, 2009. The original title is "Management Philosophy of Divided Orange". The content is that two children fought for an orange and reached an agreement of equal share through negotiation, but the result did not get the ideal ending and did not achieve the best effect. The central meaning of this story is: full and effective communication is the premise of making the best use of everything; Without effective communication, the value of things will be wasted. Before dividing oranges, both of them are very clear about their needs, one wants orange peel and the other wants orange meat, and the goal is also very clear; In the process of cutting oranges, two people also had some cooperation and negotiation-but ultimately failed to maximize their interests-each got what they wanted, but only half of what they wanted and the other half was wasted. The crux of the matter is that the needs of two people are exactly complementary, and it is not only possible but also necessary to maximize their respective interests. However, why can't such a reasonable thing be done and cause unnecessary waste? The reason is that the two sides failed to communicate effectively in the process of cooperation; If both sides can tell each other their own needs, the result will definitely be happy.
Based on the above analysis, we define the best idea of this composition as: there should be sufficient and effective communication in cooperation.
There are various cutting angles. The premise of paying attention to materials can be expressed as "full communication is the premise of cooperation"; Focusing on the moral results of material things can be expressed as "each needs his own needs on the basis of communication", "Only by full communication in advance can better cooperation be achieved", "communication, exchange and win-win" and "people and things should make the best use of their things and must communicate effectively". The division of oranges in materials can be expressed as "seemingly fair distribution may not achieve the maximum value (maximum benefit) of people or things", "we can't blindly pursue formal fairness" and "we can't just seek fairness without seeking practical results"; Focusing on the negotiation between two children, it can be expressed as "democratic negotiation may not always achieve the best effect" and "lack of adequate communication often cannot solve the problem satisfactorily"; Focusing on the dispute between two children can be expressed as "blind fighting often makes people lose sight of the essence of the problem"; Focusing on the comprehensive behavior of the two children in the material, it can be expressed as "speaking your thoughts to each other loudly" and so on-as long as it can be associated with communication and communication, it can be regarded as a class.
This composition topic is difficult to test. On the whole, there is no obvious tendency; Looking for the tendency between the lines, you get a trap: "fighting for it" gives people an impression, don't fight blindly for some trivial things; "Reaching an agreement" and "Everyone is happy" indicate that the result is good and both sides are satisfied with the orange score; The feeling of "squeezing juice to drink" and "baking cake to eat" is also quite pleasant, showing a sense of win-win cooperation. This situation is not common in the college entrance examination in recent years.
It is also difficult to choose materials, and most of the celebrity allusions that students are used to are not suitable. Only those candidates who pay attention to reality and think about life will find suitable writing materials from their daily lives, while those writers who are used to moaning without illness will certainly feel helpless.
Description of the mark
1. Examination questions. Because the central meaning of the material is relatively hidden, the mistakes made by candidates in the examination of the questions are really varied. More often, we only talk about cooperation (goal and direction) without communication, or the article also talks about communication, but the focus of the article is cooperation (goal and direction). For example, "good cooperation, bad competition", "win-win cooperation" and "sincere cooperation"; Or just talk about the importance of the goal, such as "the goal is more important than the method" and "the goal is unclear, even if the method is proper, it will not achieve the best effect". These are just classified as second-class volumes.
There are also some themes related to the materials, but they obviously deviate from the meaning of the materials, such as blindly advocating democratic consultation, or just for fairness and mutual happiness; Or "harmony is more important than anything else", or talk about choice, value, environmental protection and making the best use of everything. These are all good, related to the materials, but far from the central meaning of the topic materials.
2. Express the problem. In the process of marking papers, we will find that some compositions are not very high even if they are accurate in examination and correct in conception. This is mainly a matter of expression, such as:
(1) The overall planning is poor, and the shape of the article is insufficient. Some compositions have good ideas, but they are not finished, or even half finished.
Poor thinking and clumsy expression. Most of this composition can be seen from the coating on the surface of the roller.
(3) Full of vernacular, the language lacks literary talent. In the whole article, it is difficult to find good rhetoric, good sentence patterns, accurate idioms with rich meanings and quotations that highlight certain cultural connotations in the rapid "scanning" of the marking teacher's eyes.
4 limited ability, hard work. For example, an essay numbered 29277 is also named "Choice". Aside from its intention, just look at this sentence, and you will find that the author's "writing style" is not enough: "Choice is a kind of balance, called autumn colors; The choice is cold plum and fragrant cardamom; Choice is a breeze that blows an impetuous mind. " It can be said that this candidate has a strong sense of "beautiful writing", but his skill is too poor, so he can only put such a lame and nondescript metaphor into the article. It's like inferior powder on the face, which makes people feel uneven and uncomfortable. Generally speaking, good sentences are "handy", but to reach the realm of "faithfulness", we need to recite more, imitate more, ponder more and comprehend more. It's no use memorizing without practicing exams.
⑤ Intention and materials are lack of analysis and demonstration, which makes it difficult to produce strong persuasion; Although the idea is accurate, the materials used can't prove the point of view, and logically it makes the mistake of "can't push it out". In terms of "characteristics", it is not "profound", "rich", "literary talent" and "innovation", but superficial and lacks emotional nourishment. The score is not high and reasonable.
6. Choose a style that you are not good at. A few poems and some half-written and half-written articles are not very comfortable to control and uncomfortable to read, so their scores are not high.
⑦ Some articles are very literary, from which we can see the author's ability to control words and show the author's rich cultural background, but the theme of the article is quite different from the meaning of the materials. The marking teacher can't help wondering how such a high writing skill can make low-level mistakes in the examination of questions. Is it a model essay recited before the exam, a set of accommodation? Is it too lacking in resilience?
In addition, there are some other reasons for losing points, such as untidy papers and typos. Some typos are purely clerical errors caused by the carelessness of candidates, which can be completely avoided. Thirdly, warn students to form serious habits and avoid unnecessary loss of points.
Exhibition and Evaluation of Excellent Works (1)
Equality is not equal to fairness.
anonymous
After the primary school teacher gave everyone candy, do you think the apples in his hand are more delicious than my peaches? After the middle school teacher handed out the reading materials, do you think the science and technology books in his hand are better than my comic books? After sharing rice oil in the company, do you think I need his rice more?
Maybe you have too many similar problems in your life. Just like two children divide oranges, after one person divides them in half, one child only takes meat, one child only takes skin, and the rest is wasted. It should be that they think it is only fair after everyone is divided equally, but in fact it is not entirely so. Sometimes, equality is not equal to fairness. When handing out candy books, two people may look at each other's things and think: I need the one in his hand more. But why not communicate and discuss with each other before dividing things, and then make corresponding decisions? Although two people think this is equal to each other, they don't get everything they need, so it's unfair.
These things, although people are completely "treated fairly" in spirit, the material quantity is equal, but the material quality is unfair. This is a sign of lack of communication and imperfect management. Businessmen pursue the maximization of interests when doing business. Maximizing interests does not mean maximizing, but maximizing the satisfaction of personal needs. Therefore, before the transaction, there will always be a lot of discussion and communication to earn the greatest benefits and exchange resources. This is the real fairness, make the best use of it. The same is true of administration. When allocating personnel, we should not allocate those with the highest academic qualifications to the most important positions, but optimize the talent resources under the condition of proper talent management and professional counterparts. This is the real fairness, give full play to your talents. In order to make equality equal to fairness, before making a decision, we should make full preparations, do a good job of communication, do a good job of thorough investigation, do a good job of perfect management, and make the best use of everything, give full play to people's talents, treat others equally and handle things fairly. Now some resources are in short supply, and some areas are in short supply. We should equate equality with fairness, make full use of resources and not waste any resources. In society, political interests, economic interests, cultural interests and other people's interests are distributed fairly and reasonably, everyone's rights are equal, distribution is reasonable, and justice is fair. Let people really feel that the government and the state have created an equal and just environment for everyone, democratic management and fair distribution.
I hope he can get all the pulp and all the peels he wants when he divides oranges next time.
The mock review of this article seems dull, but it is rich in content, rigorous in thinking, and has distinctive characteristics in the beginning and ending.
In terms of content, the author not only talks about the primary and secondary school life that everyone has experienced, but also analyzes the small things in life with materials, and even extends to the social and political fields, such as bargaining in business, administrative personnel distribution, social resource distribution, equal rights and judicial justice. It can be said that the material of the article comes from all aspects of society and is rich and colorful. In this way, it is not only easy to make the article close to reality and pay attention to society, but also very easy to sublimate and deepen the theme from shallow to deep. So this item is 20 points.
In terms of expression, the language of this article is plain, but behind it is rigorous thinking. In the writing structure, the article does not directly write its own views at the beginning, but uses a series of interrogative sentences to euphemistically arouse readers' thinking. This way of opening is easier to win the trust of readers, and it is also easier to lead the article from concrete to general. After arousing readers' thinking, the author let go of his hands and feet and demonstrated the benefits of communication from all aspects and angles. Only one sentence is used at the end, and the galloping writing immediately returns to the material, which comes to an abrupt end and never drags on, which makes people afraid of being surprised! So the score of this item is 19.
As far as the level of development is concerned, this article is ambitious, rich in content and fully, profoundly and persuasively demonstrated. The score of this item is 20 points.
The fly in the ointment is that the third paragraph of the article is too complicated and can be divided into several small paragraphs to elaborate.
Based on the above highlights and shortcomings, according to the scoring rules, the score is as follows: content 20+expression 19+development 20 =59.
Exhibition and Review of Excellent Works Ⅱ
Don't lose yourself in the argument.
anonymous
Sometimes, we are always so concerned about the immediate gains and losses that we forget our original direction. Sometimes, we make a little profit, but we lose more. Sometimes, we are like those two children who fight for an orange. Because of the dispute, we lose half of the peel or pulp.
Why can't you calm down and have a good talk when you meet the two children in the article again? Talk calmly and get what you want.
At the recently concluded Copenhagen Global Climate Conference, discussions were very enthusiastic. But in the end, it failed to reach an agreement that satisfied all parties. This meeting, which is of vital importance to mankind, is unprecedented in scale and there is no substantive breakthrough in the end.
The reason why the parties are deadlocked and arguing endlessly is because everyone doesn't want to lose their own interests. Developed countries are unwilling to provide capital and technology to developing countries, and developing countries are also unwilling to close factories with serious pollution.
However, if everyone can calm down and think, we can actually do whatever we want. Developed countries are eager for a better climate environment, while developing countries are in urgent need of funds and technology. If the two sides had stopped arguing and made clear what they really needed, this conference would have become a landmark conference in human history.
Big to the whole world, small to you and me. Einstein and Bohr once had a famous argument about quantum mechanics in history. However, this fierce debate that lasted for several months ended in discord between the two sides, and the two became enemies and had little academic exchange. Today, a hundred years later, when we look at the century-long struggle again, we find that both sides' views at that time were actually problematic, but they were correct to some extent.
If two people a hundred years ago can bury the hatchet, calm down and stop arguing and work for the same scientific ideal, it may become a story in the history of science.
Not only those masters and great men, but also ordinary people.
Don't argue with your parents about some trivial family matters, don't argue with your colleagues about who does more and who does less, and why argue with your classmates about the solution to a problem.
When we let go of those disputes, when we understand each other's real thoughts and needs, we can get the "pulp" that the other half may not get.
This is a narrative with narration and discussion, which has obvious advantages-strong reality, clear thinking and connection with nature.
In terms of content, after getting arguments from the materials, this paper turned its attention to the just-concluded Copenhagen conference, paying attention to reality and being close to reality, so that readers can feel that the truth discussed in this paper is not far away from us, which has important practical significance. Then use the examples of Einstein and Bohr to illustrate the harm of not letting go of disputes and communication. This example is unknown to many people and shows some new ideas. The score of this item is 18.
In terms of expression, the language is fluent and the transition is well done. "Big to the whole world, small to everyone, you and me" and "not only those masters and great men, but also ordinary people". These transitional sections make the article very natural in the transition, which is very conducive to the promotion of the article content and the deepening of the argumentation process. The score of this item is 19.
On the development level, in addition to the advantages of rich content and close combination of materials, the article also has the biggest bright spot-strong reality, clear thinking and clear transition. The score of this item is 19.
However, the shortcomings of the article are also obvious. The failure of Copenhagen conference simply comes down to the lack of communication, and the argument between Einstein and Bohr may not be solved by simple communication, that is to say, the materials can not completely prove the argument, which is obviously caused by the author's thoughtless selection of materials.
Based on the above highlights and shortcomings, according to the scoring rules, the score is as follows: content 18+ expression 19+ development 19 =56.
Crazy link
Although an article is not glamorous, it also has some bright spots, and some paragraphs are even glamorous. Now I will extract the wonderful fragments found in the marking process and share them with readers.
1. What about the snowstorm in the south? We are firm; What about the earthquake disaster? We hold hands; What about melamine? We introspect; What is the epidemic situation like? China, which attaches great importance to communication in our internal governance, is no longer the arrogant and complacent China 100 years ago.
Through communication, we are United; Through communication, we are strong; Through communication, we are well-off; Through communication, we are complete. (Zhengzhou Middle School Liu)
-Although the direction is not satisfactory, it is inevitable that the opinion materials will be suspected of oil and water, but if the keyword "communication" can be left, there is no need to worry about the misjudgment of the marking teacher.
When the flower shakes off the last drop of dew before dawn, it tells us to think calmly and negotiate with the sad air carefully.
When the sun in the morning leaves the embrace of the night and erases the last remnant star, it lets the sun tell us to understand what the other party wants and what we want.
When the breeze blows the strings at night, the sound of the piano echoes in the air, telling us that through communication and consultation, the optimal allocation of resources can be realized.
Every wise man watching a hundred flowers blossom by the long river of history knows in his heart that even if we can't understand each other, we can sit down and negotiate slowly, and maybe we can kill two birds with one stone. (Zhengzhou Middle School Liang Yushun)
-this is the beginning of an article, characterized by juxtaposition of paragraphs, short and powerful; Beautiful language and overlapping rhetoric; "Negotiation" and "communication" are the key words of each paragraph. The beginning is so radiant, even if there are many flaws behind it, it will be covered up to varying degrees.
3. Gain and loss in an instant. Just like those two children who quarreled over an orange, they thought they got what they wanted after reaching an agreement. In fact, they only got half of what they wanted, while the other half was meaningless waste. If they can open their hearts and communicate, they will all be in their proper place, which can avoid unnecessary waste. (Zhengzhou Middle School, Zhao Ting)
-the analysis is in place and convincing. Materials are the basis of our composition. Only by in-depth analysis of the material can we draw a conclusion that conforms to the actual significance of the material and achieve the best idea. Materials are the best example. Some students always put the information on the shelf and look for it separately. As we all know, this is a typical way to get close and seek further.
People are used to using their own thinking to guess others, what they will do in the current situation, and guess that others will do the same. But everyone's situation is very different, and they are often misjudged. At this time, communication is particularly important.
But society still lacks communication. People living in downtown used to live in a big yard. Although they are noisy, they feel good. Now, everyone has moved into a new high-rise house and lived for a long time. They still don't know the names of their neighbors across the street. Even if we meet in the corridor, we are strangers. As the saying goes, a distant relative is not as good as a close neighbor, but now with the development of society, convenient transportation and more abundant communication channels, the communication between people has realized Laozi's idea of being a small country with few people, separated by a floor, and not interacting with each other. (Zhengzhou Middle School, Fiona Fang)
-Digging deep into the root causes and combining with reality are both profound and cordial.