Key words: Parental education According to a survey of more than 10,000 families in China, more than half of the children are dissatisfied with their parents' education methods. There are 3 1.09% children who don't like their parents to talk to themselves in a commanding and urging tone; There are 18.05% children who are dissatisfied with their parents' denial, degradation and insult; 5. 16% children accused their parents of threatening and beating themselves. It should be said that threatening and beating and scolding children is a manifestation of parents' incompetence in educating their children. Even the stupidest parents should not threaten and abuse their children. It doesn't matter if parents have a low level of education. Parents can reason with their children no matter how low their educational level is. Workers can talk about workers' reasons, and farmers can talk about farmers' reasons, but they can't beat children.
There is a view that among all occupations, there are two occupations that should not be misunderstood. First, doctors treat diseases. Once people are killed by mistakes, life is irreversible. The second is to educate children. Once the education is wrong and the children are taught badly, it is difficult to make up for it, even irreversible. Especially now the country implements the family planning policy, and a family often has only one child. If children can't become talents, they will not only fail to contribute to the country and society, but also bring a lot of trouble to their family life in the future. According to statistics, there are at least 80 million only children in China, which is unprecedented in the history of human life. Because each family has only one child, the family's concern about whether the child can become a success is not only a matter of cultivating the child's growth itself, but also related to complex social issues such as the happiness of parents in their later years and the honor of the family. Therefore, parents of one-child families often pay more attention to their children's education than ordinary families. Due to the increase of only-child families, people generally pay more and more attention to children's education. This is an unprecedented phenomenon in the history of China.
Paying attention to children's education, parents must learn the knowledge of educating their children and really know how to educate them. In other words, parents should have correct educational ideas, scientific educational methods and strong educational ability. Especially the one-child family, it is the first time to educate children and lacks experience. Therefore, we must learn from the successful experience of others and make our own plan to educate our children. Human education can't do experiments, it can only succeed and not fail. This not only requires parents to have a strong sense of responsibility, to be responsible for society, family and children, but also requires correct educational methods. Good wishes and enthusiasm are not enough.
Family education is a science as well as an art. Say it is science, because it must follow objective laws; It is called art because the objective conditions and educational objects are very different, and the implementation of education must be random and creative.
Family education is also a systematic project, which requires families, society and schools to share the responsibility of education and coordinate and connect with each other. For families, we should combine the educational experience of educational experts and school teachers with the methods of family education and strive to improve the skills of family education. Only in this way can we really educate our children. There are two examples to illustrate the importance of making early education plans for children.
/kloc-At the beginning of the 9th century, karl witte, a German educator, implemented an unusual education plan for her children, so that they could use six languages fluently at the age of eight or nine, be familiar with mathematics and physics, go to university at the age of nine, get a doctorate in philosophy at the age of 14, and get a doctorate in law at the age of 16. Based on his experience in educating children, he wrote a book called Carl Witt's Education.
At the beginning of the 20th century, another father educated his child, william james Cedez, so that he graduated from primary school in only one year and was admitted to Harvard University at the age of 1 1.
The difference between family education and school education is that school education is mainly about learning knowledge and cultivating ability, while family education is mainly about shaping children's character and quality. Although some parents are not well educated, they are very successful in educating their children. However, some parents are not successful in educating their children despite their high academic qualifications. The key to the success of family education lies in whether the educational method is correct, not how much cultural knowledge is taught to children.
Therefore, families should make a plan to train their children according to their own specific conditions. The problem that needs special attention is that parents need to learn from the successful experience and failure lessons of other families, but they can't copy others' experience. Children can't learn to play the piano, and my children also play the piano. Other people's children learn to draw, and my children also draw; Other children play truant at school, so do my children. According to the gourd painting gourd ladle, this method of educating children is absolutely impossible and will not succeed.
Every child is different from other children, and natural conditions are determined by genetic factors. The material basis of each child's future intellectual and talent development is different. While studying and understanding these characteristics of children, parents must make an education plan suitable for children's characteristics according to specific conditions. Although the principles and laws of family education are the same, different methods and approaches must be adopted because of different educational objects. Specifically, the methods and steps for families to make early education plans are:
(1) Understand children's personality characteristics, determine the opportunity and methods to cultivate children's good habits, shape and improve children's personality and healthy psychology;
(2) Understand children's intellectual characteristics, find children's hobbies, focus on one hobby, and determine the timing and methods of guidance and development;
(3) Understand children's health characteristics, and determine the timing and methods of exercising and strengthening physical fitness.
For example, the parents of Feng Longlong, a young college student, made a plan to train their children from their love for painting. The parents of Tian Xiaofei, a young college student, began with their children's love for poetry; The parents of Cao Yu, a young college student, have cultivated extraordinary intelligence since their children like playing chess. All excellent parents educate their children in a planned and step-by-step manner, so as to teach them in accordance with their aptitude.
When parents educate and train their children, it is very important for them to grow up freely and independently. We should inspire and guide children, never force them, never restrain their nature, and let them learn and grow happily.
Recently, many newspapers reported the growth experience of Ding Lei, a boy of 14 years old. He has obtained two diplomas since he was a child. At the age of1/kloc-0, he obtained a junior college diploma in English major from Shanghai International Studies University, and at the age of 14, he obtained a self-taught undergraduate diploma in computer major from Shandong University. Ding Lei has made remarkable achievements on the road of self-study, which proves that human beings have great learning potential, and early education can really fully develop and bring this potential into play. It also reflects that China's current education system and methods need to be improved. However, the study plans and methods made by Ding Lei's family for him are not desirable.
First of all, Ding Lei's father advocated "learn the most important things first" and "if it is not enough in the future, make up for it". Under the guidance of this idea of "study first when you are in urgent need", what Ding Lei learned was mainly the knowledge needed for the exam. Because a large number of self-study methods were adopted, which affected the normal study of the school, Ding Lei barely passed the junior high school graduation exam and never went to school again. Judging from these, what Ding Lei has learned lacks systematicness and coherence. Although some previous knowledge made rapid progress and learned deeply, it was at the expense of learning other knowledge. This will definitely have a great impact on his next study and even future scientific research, and his stamina is insufficient. We still remember the situation of the juvenile class of the Chinese University of Science and Technology. Young college students who have just started to recruit are top-notch in only one or several subjects. After they arrive at university, the school will spend a year or two tutoring them what they should learn in middle school or even primary school. If you have the idea of quick success and instant benefit in children's education, it is not advisable to use the method of pulling out the seedlings to encourage them. In fact, elementary schools, junior high schools and even universities are all basic education, so it is difficult to distinguish which knowledge is important and which knowledge is not. It is generally believed that the importance of knowledge can only be determined if the occupation and scientific research direction are clear.
Secondly, Ding Lei often didn't go to school when he was a child. After graduating from junior high school, he has been studying at home. There is no classmate group, so he spends little time with his peers and lacks communication with society, especially when children usually play games and play. Is this cruel for a growing child? In severe cases, it will lead to physical and psychological problems. Although this isolated education method can improve some learning efficiency, it is not good for children's growth as a whole.
Teacher Li, the mother of the "doctor family", once said, "I have a student who is not allowed to go to school or get in touch with society. He grew up at home and was not allowed to receive school education. I have seen this child, thin, not an all-round child. This kind of education is very narrow, even if the parents are excellent, it is impossible to have a comprehensive education for their children. Children still have to enter schools and society, so that his development path will become wider and wider. "
Contrary to the ideas of gifted education such as "Ding Lei Phenomenon" and "Harvard Girl Liu Yiting", a number of so-called anti-gifted education ideas are taking shape, and their representative works include: I am mediocre, I am happy, Happy Counseling Scheme, Why I want to go to Harvard, and so on. The author of "I am mediocre, I am happy" puts forward: "I would rather be a happy fool than a melancholy genius", "If I want to be Jackie Chan, I must sacrifice my child's childhood happiness; If you want to be happy, you can't expect your child to become Jackie Chan. " The author thinks that "mediocrity is happiness, genius is melancholy" and "success is the root of all evil", which is too simple and extreme. You know "genius" is not necessarily depressed. Most geniuses are happy. They get pleasure from their hard work and growth. They are not only happy now, but also happy most of their childhood. However, mediocre people may not be happy. What is there to be happy about not participating in competition, not struggling, and not having a sense of accomplishment in childhood? Can you be happy when you grow up behind others? That can only be a kind of sadness. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a dragon. A soldier who doesn't want to be a marshal is not a good soldier, but it doesn't mean that every soldier should be a marshal. Students who don't want to enter Tsinghua Peking University are not good students. Similarly, it cannot be assumed that every student can enter Tsinghua Peking University. As parents, it is right to expect their children to become dragons, but don't force them to become dragons.
Therefore, we should have a correct understanding of how to educate children and absorb positive and beneficial parts from various educational methods, so that our education for children can be planned more carefully and the methods more scientific.