When I was traveling alone and seeing my grandma getting older.
When I went to Tibet, I met a friend who had been in Tibet for ten years. He works in a travel agency and is familiar with Tibet's routes and customs. He said that it was too lonely in Tibet. Tourists came and went, and there were very few people with whom to interact. He spent most of his time alone, going to Ranwu Lake to see the lake and Basongcuo to see the snow-capped mountains. I said have you ever thought about leaving? You've been looking at these places for ten years.
He said that loneliness is inevitable, but hidden under this loneliness is endless vastness and peace. This is a feeling I will never use up in my lifetime.
Looking at his firm eyes, I suddenly felt that people are always lonely in their lives. If we can enjoy and taste our loneliness, it is not a kind of practice and happiness.
Last month, I secretly went back to my hometown to see my grandma. She didn't know that I was going back, so I parked the car at the alley of the town, hid in the car, and watched my grandma from a distance. This was the first time I secretly observed her daily life. She was alone, wearing dark cotton clothes, looking into the distance, patting the dust on her body, and seemed a little tired.
She closed her eyes and slept against the door for a while. Cars passed by the door, the wind blew, and passers-by walked by. She was used to it and didn't care. Half an hour later, grandma stood up, walked to the bridge, gave some food to the fish, and then went home and took out a broom. Looking at grandma, who was as old as a fallen leaf, standing in the sun with a broom, she felt a little sad. .
I ran to her side and leaned against my grandma like I did when I was a child. Grandma's hands were a little cold, and there were traces of time crawling on them. After chatting for a long time, I said, Grandma, you are alone every day, do you feel lonely? Grandma touched my head and said, Grandma is used to it, and there is nothing wrong with being alone. Each of us will experience and face it.
At that moment, I was trying to recall the fragments about loneliness. In the past, I did feel lonely easily and fell into it.
Now, I still maintain the scrutiny and contradiction of loneliness. I enjoy it, revere it, subconsciously stay away from it, and find ways to get closer to it. I have always been in a subtle relationship.
It turns out that loneliness is just a state, not loneliness. Loneliness is desolate, while solitude is calm and emotionless.
Throughout our lives, we need to learn to get along well with ourselves, so that we can have enough courage to face the blank spaces in our lives and enjoy your loneliness.