Introduction: I, Su Xiaosi, was struck by beautiful lightning one night. As soon as I sang "A Chinese Odyssey", I screamed dolphin sound (please imagine its lethality. ), as for lightning me? Here, I thank CCTV, MTV, SMJ and my parents. Without you, I wouldn't have crossed.
Ow ~ ~ I'm here, and my evil life is about to begin. My wish is to be an ordinary shining person, really ordinary, isn't it?
Introduction to the romantic version: I dreamt about it at midnight, and there was no one in the middle of the night. I sang that song alone. A person lives a lifetime, is there really such pure love in this world? The wind passes through my hair mercilessly, and the rain caresses my cheek enthusiastically. My face is particularly pale on a rainy night. Facing this world of mortals again, I am also very confused. What do I really want in this Millennium?
(Author: Please choose your own version, or mix and match)
Content (partial excerpt): I have a nice surname-Su. Basically, if you meet such a nice surname, you should have a nice name. But my name is not literary at all. My irresponsible parents named me Xiao Si. Su Xiaosi, God, what a popular name. I deeply doubt that eight out of ten dogs will respond to your call with a dog when you call out a small four in the street.
So I'm sad and angry. Once I asked my parents why I was named like this. My mother patted me on the head and said, "This name is simple and easy to write. How many times did you write it during the exam? If I name you Su Qingyan or something, it will take you a minute to write your name during the exam. It's a waste of time. " I was suddenly moved by my mother's wisdom. It turns out my name has so many benefits. I suddenly felt cold, and I didn't care that every time my friends called me old four, they called me old two in the inn.
As a student who is oppressed by the school, my biggest hobby is reading travel documents. Every time I see those female pigs all over the world, I really want to dress up in fashion. I don't need so many handsome guys and so much power. I just want to be an ordinary person. Make money every day until dizzy, count money until cramp, and be a glittering person.
Really, I just need to be so ordinary. (Author: You are also called ordinary, sweat first. )
So, before I go to bed tomorrow night, I will make a pious wish: God, let me wear a pair, and it is best to win glory for my country, where I can make money.
During my three years in high school, I never stopped wishing, especially before the exam, and my desire was very strong. But I never got what I wanted in three years. I finally got out of my head and graduated. Tomorrow, when I can do whatever I want, the death fairy will force me to cross.
It was a stormy night, and I stood proudly at the window, watching the lightning go by. I sing a song when I think of such a rare weather. At that time, I didn't think much, so I sang Zhang Moumou's ≤ A Chinese Odyssey ≥. Afterwards, I learned that we shouldn't sing indiscriminately in this weather, especially this kind of song that will die if we can't sing well. When I found out, I already regretted it.
At that time, I was overestimating the dolphin sound when suddenly a flash of lightning appeared in front of me and gave it to me. Before I got scared, we passed out in glory. At that moment, I thought: mom, don't let me pass. I haven't enjoyed the happy summer vacation I just had for three years.
But the reality is always cruel. When I woke up, I saw a white light, and an old man stared at me nervously. I immediately shuddered, closed my eyes and hinted to myself: this is a dream, this is a dream. The old man was dissatisfied and shook me desperately. I felt my blood pressure suddenly rise and my brain suddenly exploded. Angry, I jumped up and grabbed the dead old man by the collar and scolded, "Dead old man, you have to shake me to death, or I will kill you." The dead old man's mouth opened wide, and I knocked it off at once. Sure enough, force is the best way to solve the problem.
I was in high spirits when I heard a weak voice: "But you are dead." Am I dead? Yes, I seem to have been struck by lightning. I'm not dead. With the acumen of an intellectual youth in 2 1 century, I immediately realized that this dead lightning was related to the dead old man in front of me.
So I desperately began to shake the old man's collar and began to play Marco's roar: "Why, why, why are you doing this to me?" What did I do wrong? I am a new good young man. I don't steal or rob at ordinary times. When I meet an old man, I will give up my seat. I will donate money when I encounter an earthquake. Why should I be struck by lightning? Why, why, why! Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Ah ~ ~ ~ ~ "My roaring works knocked the old man down at once. He bowed his head in shame: "After our investigation, we really split the wrong person." But who asked you to sing a dead man's song? People who thunder hear your ghost voice, and their hands are crooked at once. "
You still have a reason. I was struck by lightning when I was singing. What a world. I looked at his neckline and said, "I don't care. Now take me back. I still have two travel articles to read. " The dead old man began to shrink back: "In fact, your body is dead, so in a responsible attitude, we are going to let you join our lucky crossing experience to make up for you. How's it going? Don't you really want to cross? " I grimaced and said, "Want to send my mother away with this, huh?" If you don't agree to my terms, you can't get rid of me. " A drop of sweat hung on the dead old man's head and trembled and said, "What do you want?"
"Very simple," I loosened the old man's collar. "First I want to wear it on a beautiful woman, then I want to have martial arts and ultra-light skills to protect myself from death, and finally I want to have all the skills of a witch in Diablo."
The old man hesitated, but was immediately frightened by my fierce expression and agreed wisely. Ouch ~ my crossing life is about to be happy. Standing in front of the cross, I brushed my hair that I hadn't washed for three days. He said with emotion: "Heaven and earth are ruthless, and everything is a dog!" Actually, my heart is bubbling with beauty. I was kicked by the dead old man before I could pack enough. Remember, old man, don't you dare kick my ass ~
So hoo, that's how I dressed in my fourth year ~
PK3
Props: Emerald steamed stuffed bun and shrimp dumplings.
People: me, my brother.
"The mountain is still the mountain, and the water is still the water." I sang a song in my heart with deep affection and watched my brother fall into the same predicament as Hamlet at the dinner table: TOBEORNOTTOBE. Finally, his sensibility prevailed over reason. My brother carefully took a bite of shrimp dumplings. A minute later, he showed a happy smile. I'm preparing for the game. You ask me who I am, I am the enemy of my brother's happiness. Tampering with the lyrics of Lotus Lantern: He is happy and I am not happy ~ ~
I squeezed myself reluctantly and appeared in front of my brother with tears in my eyes. I looked at my brother's half shrimp dumplings with grief-stricken eyes, and then killed my brother there with the eyes of an enemy who had killed my family. I quickly grabbed the half shrimp dumpling, turned my back on my brother and stuffed half a cockroach into it.
"No, no, it's not true, Bao Qiang. Did you leave me? My Bao Qiang, I was with you when you were an egg. I raised you bright and fat, and you, did you just leave? God, why do you want me to send white-haired people to black-haired people? Bao Qiang, Bao Qiang, mom, I'm sorry to let you die, beheaded. It's no use being a mother, and she can't help you get revenge. If my uncle eats you, you can forgive him by blood! Bao Qiang, my poor baby ~ "I screamed at the top of my lungs and put on airs. My brother's face turned from red to white, from white to purple, from purple to black, and finally turned into a big white screen after brushing. He started to vomit with a wow, just for gastric lavage, but Xiao Qiang's body was deeply imprinted on his body and mind, which became a nightmare that he could not get rid of.
I looked at him sadly and said, "Brother, don't be sad. If Bao Qiang knows anything underground, he will be unhappy. " My brother is shivering beside me. I continued to add fuel to the fire: "Brother, Bao Qiang died like this, just like a waist cut. Please give me some money to give him a good burial. I know you're upset and can't get the money. I will accept it. " My brother's money just fell into my pocket.
PK result: I won completely, and my brother was defeated.
From then on, my brother saw me like a mouse seeing a cat. His eyes were white, his mouth twitched, and sometimes he immediately fainted and pretended to be dead, hoping to dispel my interest in him. Am I the ghost in red in the midnight theater? Is this necessary? I am a young and invincible 13-year-old beauty, everyone loves me, flowers bloom and fall, and I ride a car. Why do you hurt my young and pure heart so much? (Author: Do you have the face to ask? In this way, I tease my brother every day, and my little life is extremely moist every day. My face is ruddy every day, and my brother is pale every day. Xiao Si: Why is my face so rosy? Because I drink blood every day! )
Sometimes I really feel sorry for my father, Sue, and even gave birth to a son who is only external but not internal. People don't think Rykov is a man wearing a condom, but he is a man wearing only a condom. In modern words, he is a vase! I finally understand why dad's eyes are a little sad. It turned out to be for this brother with only a shell. I immediately wrote a modern poem: God only gave me a shell, but I pulled it away to make others laugh at my empty heart. Look at my literary talent. This is beyond comparison It's amazing. I said my brother, people were moved by China champion Lili's physical disability, but she played a strong song with her heart, while you were: healthy, but she played a brush with her broken heart. Why is this person so different from others? As your sister, I am deeply ashamed of you.
Dad must have died before the bank loan was paid back in his last life, and he was the kind of empty child who would have a big talk about the West. One was convulsive every day and the other was extremely brain-damaged. Fortunately, I came, IQ200, EQ200, acting first-class, lying very badly, it is simply an excellent variety that has never been seen before. If we are all pigs, the brother and sister must be sick pigs. I am sure that the one with the big qualified green pig is still expensive. (Author: Your metaphor is really too strong. It doesn't matter, there is a gap, and it is not too late to work hard. I looked at my brother's innocent face and vowed that I must dye him black inside, or belly black for short.
Early in the morning, I stood at the window pretending to be depressed. Now, please allow me to describe this beautiful girl for you as a bystander: her delicate posture leans against the window frame, with a distressing breath, her beautiful eyes are closed, her long eyelashes seem crystal clear, and there are still red and swollen marks on her small and pretty nose, but Zhu's red lips can vaguely see the brand bitten by Bei tooth. I dare not face up to that beautiful face, because I am afraid of falling into the hell of my soul. (Author: The above content is purely YY's "Little Three Four". After a lot of artistic processing, it uses an extremely BH exaggeration. Please don't sit in the right place ~ if someone is struck by lightning, the goods sold will not be returned, laugh ~ ~)
At this time, how can I live up to myself without a poem? I hesitated and sang to the morning light: "People laugh at me too much. I laugh at people who can't see through it. No tomb, no hero's tomb, no flowers, no wine, no field. " Although not suitable for occasions, it can almost set off my lofty temperament. The morning breeze is swaying, and the glory of the morning sun is lightly sprinkled on my face. I am like a fairy who has strayed into the world, and I can't help this world of mortals. Inexplicable aestheticism, unspeakable sadness, with a touch of sadness and sorrow, everything is like a dream.
What do you mean, it won't last long? What do you mean good flowers don't bloom often? This is when I was in COSPLAY Fairy. A mortal ran in. The mortal even said, "Sister, are you smoking again?" That tone is as common as asking me if I ate it. I completely changed from a beautiful fairy to a vicious devil.
After eating angrily, my dad talked to me and finally got to the point: let me follow him back to Xiangfu. After he said that he had performed, he thought of asking my opinion: "How about going back with my father?" I opened my mouth and said "no". Before the word "want" came out, my father robbed me halfway. He smiled and said, "You mean you can't leave you in another house?" Don't worry, where there is a father, there must be you! "I wanted to say that you were wrong, so I said' you' and was robbed again. Dad lovingly touched my head and said, "Stop it, dear daughter, I know you want to say that you are really my good father, right?" Don't worry, dad will love you in the future! ? After that, I began to hold invincible and strangle all my hearts in the cradle.
Power politics! Hegemonism! How dare my dad think he is the head of the United States ~ but if you want me to die, I have to die; If a father wants his son to die, so does his son. Although my face was as pale as drinking fake blood, and my brother's face was like constipation and hemorrhoids, we still embarked on the road of no return.
The road was really boring. My brother and I were lovers for half a sentence, so we had to start telling cold jokes when we were bored. I vaguely remember a wonderful cold joke at that time. When I strongly expressed that I was going to tell a joke, my brother shook his head desperately, so he couldn't hold back. He just bit me with a handkerchief. It looked as if he was an insulted woman and I was the bully who forced her into prostitution, but I finally gave in to my arrogance. I was brewing emotions and began to speak with a little mystery: once upon a time, there was a child named Xiaoming who didn't study hard. One day, his father told him, "If I am admitted to a scholar, I will grant you a wish." Xiaoming studied hard and was finally admitted to the university. He asked his father for three feathers, and then he began to be careless again. His father told him, "If you are admitted to Juren University, I will grant you a wish." Xiaoming continued to work hard, and he was admitted to Juren University again. This time, he asked for three feathers. In this way, with the encouragement of Sanyu, Xiaoming was proud of the spring breeze all the way. Finally, he was admitted to the top scholar and entered the Hanlin Academy. By this time, he had many feathers on his hands. One day, Xiao Ming suddenly had a myocardial infarction and fell down at once. Before he died, his father asked him, "Why do you want so many feathers?" Xiao Ming opened his eyes wide and said, "Because ..." Then he died. My brother asked stupidly, "Because of what?" I looked at him innocently: "I don't know. He died before he finished. " Brother froze. Such an excellent cold joke can't stop you? I was in a good mood immediately.
After three days and nights of turbulence, I finally returned to my base camp. As soon as I got out of the carriage, I saw the gate of that magnificent building, by which stood a housekeeper and a beautiful young woman. As soon as the young woman saw my brother, she jumped at me with the ball, which made me thrilling. The theater of love story began immediately. And the housekeeper over there saw my dad's eyebrows and eyes almost drop with excitement, which made me wonder if these two people had banned BL. I seem to be in hot water, BL here and BG there. Can I stand it as a pure baby?
The breeze blew, his long hair hanging over his shoulders fluttered with the wind, and his brow was full of hidden talents. Elegant appearance and refined temperament are combined into one, so beautiful, so refined and so dusty. (Author: I hate to describe the appearance, everyone is imagining it) I can completely bear the evaluation given to him by the outside world: elegant as the wind, the world is cold. But, but why is he getting closer and closer to me? I watched helplessly as Zhu's red lips pressed against me. When the tie happened, I turned my head and dodged the kiss. I regret it the next second. How can we achieve unconditional reflexes like animals? Can I undo my previous behavior? I want to cry without tears. Unexpectedly, the strong have their own hands. He giggled, kissed me gently on the cheek, and then rubbed my neck carefully, making me tremble. Ambiguous atmosphere floated around us for a while, and I felt difficult to breathe and my heart beat faster. Does he want to have sex with me? On the one hand, the impulse tells me: overwhelm him, SM him! On the other hand, reason tells me that I am still a baby of 13 years old. Although my mind is mature, my body is immature. If I fall in love early, I will probably win the bid, so I will hold a baby in my arms in the near future. At the thought of this terrible scene, my reason completely overcame my impulse. I fought back my reluctant feelings and pushed him away, and then came a vulgar line; "We are wrong to do so!" Look at me, how upright I am, how upright I am, how unyielding I am! I think I can play the classic red TV series, especially the role of Jie Jiang. His beautiful eyes are slightly closed, his collarbone is half exposed, his hair is vaguely in his mouth, and he can't talk because of various customs. Uber, Uber, this is naked beauty seduce! It's a pink bomb! I tried my best to cover my nose and pointed at him angrily: "Aren't you supposed to be elegant? Shouldn't you let me jump with dignity and reserve? Why are you so active, charming and full of xxoo hints? I tell you, I'm going to the Consumers Association to complain about you, and I strongly demand to crack down on false advertisements! " He smiled evilly and said, "Because I like to pretend to be elegant."
What is this shameless answer? He can say it with a straight face. Working people, he is not an angel from heaven, but a devil from hell! What elegant style? Let's change it to demon wind. Angel's appearance, devil's heart, is it popular to mix angels and demons recently? I can't help feeling that it's not that I can't keep up with the times, but that the world is changing too fast. I'll try the mix and match route of Lori and Queen. I'll fool him with Lori's face first, and then give him the queen SM in XXOO! Maybe I'm too angry. At present, I am as calm as Liu Xiahui, and I have to admire my calmness.
Entrepreneurship is very hard! I've been sneaking out of the house for weeks, and I don't know how much my glorious image has been destroyed. You asked me where I was? I'm not in Shede Square. I'm on my way to Shede Square. Now Shede Square is really less and less like a brothel, and the little girls in the square are getting to know me better and better. Every day, in order to boost morale, I always drag little girls who don't get enough sleep during the day out of bed to match my original employee declaration. I am always full of energy at this time, and the little girls are always so sad and decadent.
Today is another sunny day, a once-a-day employee declaration. I stood on the stage with passion, dressed in a gold and silver dress, and looked like an upstart.
"What is our slogan?" "No peers!"
"What are our principles?" "No face and no skin, the world is invincible!"
"What are our seats called?" "It's really cool that everyone is cool!"
"What's the matter? Everyone is like pickled dried radish. Speak louder! " I fully enjoy the unique rights as a leader-picky and unreasonable.
On a beautiful morning, I stood there staring at the teacher with small eyes. The teacher is sitting on the edge of the chessboard, which is quite tasty. He lit a sunspot and asked me gracefully, "Miss Su, please explain what Go is first?" Such a retarded question also insulted me that "it is a game of chess that encloses other people's pieces." I gave an answer easily. His incisive speech and sharp tone made Mr. Ren's veins stand out several times and all the spots fell off, which could not refute my correct answer.
The teacher took a deep breath and smiled, "Then let's have a real fight and show me Miss Su's strength." Fifteen minutes later, the teacher finally collapsed. He didn't have the strength to ask me, "Why did the lady get off next to me when I got off?" Because I want to surround you. "Happy and cheerful, I can't confidently replied.
The Go teacher said to her father in a trembling voice, "Your daughter's chess skills have reached a superb level. Forgive my incompetence. "
It was the painting teacher who came in the afternoon. He is an old man with flowing beard and hair. He touched his beard and smiled and asked me to demonstrate my painting skills.
Why do people here always like to find blows? I was so humble that I had to start painting grapes. I have no choice. When I study Chinese painting at school, I will draw a grape. The teacher looked at the black circle on the white paper speechless and couldn't help but ask shamelessly, "What is this?" I looked at him with an idiot's eyes: "This is a grape!" " "He covered his chest in shock, as if he were about to spit out blood. The next moment, he has demonstrated his skills on white paper. A picture of grapes appeared before my eyes. "In any case, this is a real grape. "The teacher's brow is very proud. I pointed to the purple grape I stole, dropped a grape into my mouth and said, "This is a real grape. "I swear I didn't mean to hit the teacher.
The painting teacher followed suit and said weakly in front of my father, "Miss's painting skills are rare, old and incompetent."
The dance teacher who came the next day was a warm girl, but she was pickled like a frosted eggplant when she left. Well, just to show her that I jumped from childhood to adulthood. At least someone has participated in the broadcast gymnastics competition. Is this necessary? I'm sure I've never seen such an active dance. Also, dancing such a soft dance every day, and suddenly encountering a powerful dance, it is inevitable to feel inferior. Understandable, understandable.
Finally, Mr. Guqin came. This time it was a middle-aged man in white. I like guqin very much, but my first talent show, the piano skill of sinking fish and falling geese, opened my eyes to the teacher. The teacher looked at me and said to me in a sincere tone, "believe me, I have never seen such a talented student in my life." You will be able to teach yourself. " After that, I quickly went to my father to put in a good word for me.
Dad's vanity is really skyrocketing. Four excellent teachers praised me for being unprecedented and never coming again. He didn't question its authenticity at all. I am also very happy to be liberated. Four teachers have been able to avoid being angry with me. Since then, Miss Su's reputation as a talented woman has spread like wildfire.
The moon looked at me admiringly and said, "Miss, you are really something. You know everything. " I seriously educated her: "Moon, don't engage in personal worship, but engage in collective worship." Su Xiaosi's dictionary: individual worship = one person's worship, group worship = a group of people's worship.
It's another sunny day. I wiped my face with water, and with tears in my eyes, I accused my brother of his crimes at my sister-in-law's house. I admit that I am a vengeful villain. I tearfully pulled my sister-in-law's sleeve: "Brother, my brother took my hibiscus cake again today." Sister-in-law was filled with indignation at once: "You damn fool, if he doesn't work well every day, he will bully his sister and won't scold him to death when I come back." I just didn't take a handkerchief and bit it with my mouth: "Sister-in-law, don't blame my brother, I ... I don't care." I don't know how many times the real effect has been enhanced, and my sister-in-law holds me with great pity. The moon on the side asked me with puzzled eyes, "Didn't miss rob the young master's hibiscus cake this morning?" I replied awkwardly with my eyes: "This is called artistic processing, which is necessary for writing eight-part essay." The moon rolled her eyes: "You are turning black and white." Now the servant girl is really powerful. It is rare for me to bow before the truth.
Sister-in-law still holds me, and that ball is very uncomfortable for me. I held back my anger and patted the ball gently. This shot is really amazing. Sister-in-law's face is very ugly She quickly pushed me away, clutching her stomach: "pain ... pain, little sister, hurry up ... call the midwife, I'm going to have a baby!" " Moon and I rushed out for a midwife.
We waited from morning to noon and from noon to evening, but the dead child still didn't come out. Sister-in-law's screams echoed throughout the day. My brother and father walked around in front of me, very nervous. My brother, in particular, smokes intermittently like a psychopath. Fortunately, there is a sane person at home who has been comforting them. The greater the skill, the greater the responsibility. I can only be the mainstay of the Su family for the time being.
While doing free psychological counseling, I constantly release the pressure of blaming my children. Dare to let me work so hard and give me free labor, and see how I can distort your mind and give you a dark childhood when I grow up? ! God knows, the little guy should still be my nephew finally born, accompanied by my malicious grin.
While doing free psychological counseling, I constantly release the pressure of blaming my children. Dare to let me work so hard and give me free labor, and see how I can distort your mind and give you a dark childhood when I grow up? ! God knows, the little guy should still be my nephew finally born, accompanied by my malicious grin.
My brother and father rushed in, leaving me alone as the background. It blows beautifully and makes my stone statue fall apart. When I came to my senses, I rushed in. As soon as I came in, everyone was surrounded by a doll, and you praised me one by one. I fully understand from everyone's words that my nephew is beautiful, personable, innocent and lovely, smart and simple, and is the best shota to fascinate the dead and not pay for his life. With great excitement, I pushed through the crowd and successfully grabbed the base. I finally met the legendary shota, which was loved and praised by thousands of people. Who says the eyes of the masses are discerning? ! Who says the working people are naive? ! I hold the ugly doll in my hand, and I don't throw it or praise it. I can't help but frown and look sad. Now let me reveal the truth under the scandal for you with an absolutely objective and true attitude: my nephew has a wrinkled face, a flushed face, wet hair, a smelly smell, yellow excrement in his eyes and saliva in his mouth. He is a monkey doll that nobody wants.
I want to be a retired person, but the audience next to me has always refused to let me go. They all looked at me with expectant eyes, hoping to dig out a few words of praise for the doll from my mouth, especially my brother's eyes. I really want to cry. If I praise you, I will be divided up by you and leave me nothing. What should I praise now? Once again, I observed my nephew's beauty and tried to find a fish that escaped the net to praise him. The result ended in failure. Under the four rewards, there must be brave men, and under heavy pressure, there must be results. I squeezed my temple hard and said weakly in full view, "This child is really human." I've faked it several times since then. The autumn wind swept away and all was silent. A servant girl sighed with emotion: "Miss is really sincere and simple." What do you lying with your eyes open have the face to say about me? !
The nurse took the little nephew downstairs to take a bath, and our family sat outside to discuss the name of the little boy. My first suggestion: "Just call Suning. This is an exquisite name and a modern famous brand, which will have a celebrity effect in the future. " No one spoke. I didn't know what a neglected refusal was, so I continued to make a passionate proposal: "Suzhou and Hangzhou will do." This name is aura, and it is still a tourist attraction. It will definitely have a bright future. " I finally succeeded in attracting the attention of my brother and father. Really timid.
My brother cleared his throat: "In fact, my father and I have long thought of a name and named my child Soapy, which means we can do anything." This is a good hint. Wait a minute, soapy? Vulgar? What an ugly name. I was anxious to vote against it, but I was ruthlessly rejected. The Millennium generation gap killed people, soapy? I'm still Su Bole, with a worse name, just a gangster.