When the curtain rose, two people of the same kind made a vow of eternal love. Later, he just muddled along, finally gave up, parted ways and forgot the Jianghu.
Too much love that gives up halfway makes us ask, why is it always so difficult to love and so easy to get along with?
Love is just an impulse stimulated by hormones.
Throughout the ages, there are countless poems and articles praising love. There is a saying in the ancient Book of Songs that "life and death are reconciled, and children succeed". Hold your hand and grow old with your son. Today there is Goethe's "If there is no love in this world, what will it mean in our hearts?" It's like a lantern without light. "
Love seems to be an indispensable part of human literature. In a literary work, there is always something about love, as if it doesn't involve love, and the work loses its soul. This kind of feelings, with all mankind * * * on the altar, she looked down at the human beings at her feet, kneeling around, looking forward to love and looking for marriage.
But what is love?
The explanation given by Baidu Encyclopedia refers to "the affection and friendship between two people who love each other; Also refers to love. " This sentence is very short and there are no uncommon words. I know every word, but after careful reading, it seems to contain a lot of meanings, but it seems that nothing is said.
This is probably the essence of love:
"Are you in love?"
"I am in love."
"How did you fall in love?"
I don't know.
"In love with what?"
I don't know.
"Why do you love?"
I don't know.
The biological explanation of love is this: a biological process that is dominated by evolutionary forces, works through hormones, and produces sexual desire and a series of chemical reactions with the secretion of "love hormones". In a word, love is an impulse stimulated by hormones secreted by the human body, which has nothing to do with rationality, IQ, biological evolution and hormones in the body. Your biological instinct thinks that this person can have a positive impact on your offspring (for example, money can provide a stable environment for reproduction and survival, beauty and strength can provide excellent genes, and so on). ), so the hormone secretion is strong.
Everything about love is not dominated by reason, which is why love is so vague that it cannot be explained in any way, which also makes it mysterious and noble.
The shelf life of love is shorter than you think.
Everyone's expectation for the shelf life of love is probably that the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, times have changed, and it will last forever until death do us part. However, in real life, love always falls in love at first sight, and then declines. After three years of exhaustion, or twenty years of love, it is lost to a natural or enchanting face.
The shelf life of love seems to be far less than people expected. Why?
Earlier, a team from the State University of new york at Storni Brook studied whether love can last forever. The researchers showed the photos of his/her lover to two groups of subjects and scanned their brains using magnetic resonance imaging. The final result shows that about one in ten couples who have been dating for 20 years quickly secrete a lot of dopamine in their brains after seeing photos of their lovers. In the experiment of new couples, it is a common phenomenon that dopamine appears in the brains of couples.
(PS, dopamine, as a neurotransmitter, transmits excitement, joy and happiness, which is also commonly known as "happy hormone")
This experiment is very illustrative.
In the early days of love, when you meet a lover, dopamine and other hormones are secreted vigorously, which stimulates people's brains and nerves and produces the feeling of "love".
For a long time, such as the legendary "seven-year itch", it is because this person can't stimulate the brain, dopamine and other hormones can't be secreted quickly and in large quantities, the brain and nerves are no longer stimulated, and there is no feeling of love.
From the biological point of view, the essence of love is the stimulation to promote male and female reproduction. Once the next generation is successfully produced, this kind of stimulation is unnecessary.
The gestation time of the next generation is not long, and there is no need for long-term secretion of hormones.
Facing a true lover is a cruel process.
In the early days of love, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", a large number of hormones stimulate the brain, and reason is pushed to the edge by surging emotions. Everyone in this period looks at his lover with pink eyes. This kind of pink glasses will automatically filter out each other's shortcomings, flaws and deficiencies. All you see in your eyes are each other's strengths and weaknesses. Everything about your lover is beautiful, vulgar and even fragrant.
As mentioned above, this hormone is difficult to secrete for a long time. Once the pink glasses lose their original functions, the "true face" of lovers will gradually emerge.
You may find that this man in his thirties, like a child, always spills soup on his clothes when eating!
He is not as mature as he thinks. In fact, he is angry because he moved the furniture he put on the table!
She has no patience at all and keeps others waiting. Once it's her turn to wait for someone else, she flies into a rage!
She sleeps at night without washing her feet! God, this is terrible!
However, this is the real partner, not as beautiful and perfect as you think, just ordinary people like you, me and him.
This reality is hard to accept, even cruel. However, this is the fact, so people who are in the rules of love only have to constantly adjust, accept, run in and change.
You can't eat the sweet cherry on the opposite tree until you cross the river.
You can't eat the sweet cherry on the opposite tree until you cross the river. But most people look at the wide river and think silently, although the cherry is delicious, why should I eat that cherry?
Others say it's sweet, but I may not like it.
What should I do if such a wide river is drowned?
I can look for sweet cherries again, maybe the river there is narrower, or I don't have to cross the river at all.
So is love.
The process of running in with each other is painful. We should change our rhythm and lifestyle, and at the same time accept each other's shortcomings and adapt to each other's ideas and habits.
Every one is a very challenging thing. A little carelessness will lead to "I can look for sweet cherries again, maybe the river there is narrower, or I don't have to cross the river at all." The idea of escaping from this makes you feel uncomfortable, even painful, and explore the possible "soul mate" that the two can't compare.
But true love needs to cross this river.
Of course, different lovers, the width of the river and the degree of surging are very different, but they all exist.
Grandpa is a quiet and hard-working person, while grandma's favorite thing in this life is really nagging. A pair of two people, there is no romance of "the golden wind will reveal" at all, it is a farce that should be captured.
Grandma has been nagging around grandpa. Grandpa was very affected at first, pretending that he didn't want to see you. Later, he was in a hurry, yelled twice and walked out without looking back. It was quite generous. I envy this mode of getting along. There is a person who is willing to listen silently when you nag. If you can't stand it, you can find a clean place yourself. If this is not love.
But according to my father, when he was a child, they didn't get along like this.
In the early years, my father was young, my grandmother was grumpy, and my grandfather was equally grumpy. He is always quarrelling about something as big as sesame and mung beans, saying something ugly and hurtful.
Divorced words have been abandoned countless times, after all, they have supported each other for most of their lives. From constant quarreling with each other to finding a way for two people to get along, outsiders have no way of knowing how many difficult runs-in they have experienced. The only thing I know is that they have worked out a set of ways to get along with each other in the disputes of expression and expression again and again, and they have come to this day.
There are never two perfect people in the world. All the love that holds your hand and grows old with your son has been polished into blood. Only in this way can the lover see love and harmony.
It's easier to fall in love than to get along. In the final analysis, it is love, calmness, fatigue and separation.
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