The key point of poetry is to be concise and not protracted
Personally, I think some sentences are a bit cumbersome
I suggest you use less prepositions and adverbs, such as this paragraph
When dusk approaches the end of my writing
A city, a person
The free dark light of the Western Wall floods the water
The moment of sorrow turns its back to the setting sun< /p>
If it were changed to
Dusk is approaching my writing
A city, a person
The dark light of the Western Wall is wandering
Isn’t it better to momentarily mourn and turn your back to the sunset