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When you praise the other person for being a good person, the other person will really become a good person. When a person realizes that he is a good person, he will become embarrassed to reject you.
A psychologist conducted an experiment: He asked a group of participants to donate to charity, and then divided some people into "charitable people" and "charitable people" based on whether they donated. "Uncharitable people." Correspondingly, some participants in the experiment were not drawn to such a conclusion.
After a period of time, when these people were asked to donate again, those who donated money for the first time and were said to be "charitable people" donated more than those who had not been judged. There was more money, and those who were called "uncharitable" for the first time donated less than those who had never been judged.
Psychologists call this psychological phenomenon the "labeling effect." Psychologists believe that when a person is drawn to a certain conclusion by others, it is like a product being labeled with a certain label. When a person is labeled, he or she will engage in impression management to make his or her behavior consistent with the label.
So, what is the relationship between labeling effect and persuasion? Persuasion experts believe that if you can make good use of the labeling effect, you can persuade people on a deep level, especially authoritative predictions, which will arouse higher expectations of the target of persuasion and even change a person's life.
Cao Cao was a strong man in the Three Kingdoms era, but in his early years he was just a naughty boy. Later he met Xu Shao, a famous character critic in the late Eastern Han Dynasty. It is said that Xu Shao would criticize the influential figures of the time once a month, which was known as "Yuedan Criticism".
Cao Cao wanted to know what would happen to him in the future, so he asked Xu Shao to predict it for him. But Xu Shao was a big shot and a famous person, and he didn't like Cao Cao who was from a bad background, so he refused to say anything. The naughty Cao Cao found an opportunity (note: unoccupied space or time) to threaten Xu Shao. Xu Shao had no choice but to say, "You are a capable minister in governing the world and a traitor in troubled times." Cao Cao was very happy to hear this.
Later, Cao Cao really became a great figure. Could it be said that Xu Shao really knew how to pinch his fingers? Actually not. If Xu Shao was really that good, he wouldn't have fled everywhere and ended up with a short life. There is no magic in this world, but Cao Cao did benefit from Xu Shao's words, which gave Cao Cao higher expectations for himself and also stimulated his fighting spirit.
In fact, since Cao Cao received this comment from Xu Shao, he suddenly changed. No longer messing around, but enthusiastically participating in politics and focusing on career pursuits. It can be said that Cao Cao was later able to unify northern China, coerce the emperor to command the princes, and achieve such a great cause. In addition to his personal ability, it also had a lot to do with the label Xu Shao put on him.
Therefore, when persuading others, you should pay attention to creating a positive vision for them. When the other party accepts the positive information you have infiltrated, they will reshape their self-image according to what you describe and adjust their role consciousness and role behavior, thus producing a magical "labeling effect."
Mr. Fromm was a building contractor working on an office tower in Philadelphia. According to the contract, the office building must be completed within 10 months. He is a veteran in this field and has arranged everything in an orderly manner. It seems that there will be no problem in delivering the work as scheduled.
However, at this time, he encountered a problem - the businessman who contracted the exterior decoration of the office building said that he could not deliver the goods as scheduled. As a result, the entire project would have to be stopped. What's worse is that if he fails to deliver the work on time, he will face a huge fine!
What to do? Mr. Fromm was so anxious that he finally decided to go to New York to interview a decorating contractor. He wants to convince the person to change his mind. Fromm walked into the businessman's office, without directly stating the purpose of his visit, but said: "Sir, do you know? Your name is unique in this city! This is amazing!"
Fromm's words surprised the businessman: "Oh? No, I really don't know. Is that really the case?"
Fromm said: "This morning, I got off the bus When I got off the train, I checked the phone book to find your address. I unexpectedly found that you were the only one with this name in this city. "
That businessman is so interested! As soon as I came, I took the phone book and checked it. Sure enough, his name is unique! This discovery made the businessman start to feel proud: "I have never noticed this. Of course my surname is not common, it is a very old surname! My ancestors are originally from the Netherlands, and it has been more than two hundred years since they moved to New York!" < /p>
Then, the businessman talked about his family background with great interest. Fromm listened patiently. After he finished talking about his family background, he changed the topic and talked about his factory.
Fromm said: "It turns out that this large-scale factory has such a tortuous experience, which is really amazing! Sir, you are really an amazing person! It is no exaggeration to say that this factory The factory is the cleanest and most complete one I have ever seen. It shows that you are well run. It is an honor for me to choose you as a partner."
That. The businessman was very happy and said: "Yes, I have spent my whole life running this factory to make it the scale it is today. It is my glory. Are you willing to visit?"
So, the businessman took Mr. Fromm to visit the factory. During the visit, Fromm kept praising him and saying from time to time that he was right to choose him as his partner. During the entire visit, they got along very well. Not a word of what Mr. Fromm said touched upon the purpose of his visit.
At lunch, the businessman insisted on inviting Mr. Fromm to lunch. After the meal, the businessman smiled and said to Mr. Fromm: "To tell you frankly, before you came, I had already planned to give up your order because I had several big deals to do. But after the exchange just now, I know that you He is a good partner. As you said, our cooperation will be very pleasant. Now I promise you that even if I don't do other business, I will deliver your order on time. " < /p>
In this way, Mr. Fromm achieved his purpose of persuasion and also enjoyed a sumptuous lunch.
When you praise the other person for being a good person, the other person will really become a good person. Of course, we cannot expect that a single compliment can achieve our goal. You must learn to continuously strengthen the concept of "good person" in someone's mind after labeling him a "good person." When a person realizes that he is a good person, he will become embarrassed to reject you. In this way, you will encounter fewer obstacles when persuading. Use the "labeling effect" of psychology to improve confidence
Applying the psychological law of labeling effect to persuasion is of special significance to managers: using it flexibly will inspire people enthusiasm and bring good management performance.
When an employee is considered by his boss to be incompetent in certain aspects, he will definitely doubt his ability in this area and lose confidence in himself. Even if he has the ability in this area, he will not If they show it again, employees will think, "The boss already thinks that their abilities are not good enough, so why should they show off?"
Of course, most managers usually don't express much verbal dissatisfaction directly. However, your attitude towards a person is not necessarily expressed completely through words. When you have a very negative attitude towards a person, even if you don't say a word, your attitude towards the person is fully revealed in your behavior. A look or an action can show that disapproval, and these non-verbal signals are enough to label an employee. Therefore, you should pay attention.
Maybe you will say: "The employee is not stupid. If you call him stupid, he really thinks he is stupid. If you call him stupid, he really thinks he has no future. When I scold him like this, I just "provoke him" "I just want him to get better." This view seems to have some truth, because some psychologists have found in research that in the "labeling effect", if the label is not positive, , then the person being labeled may also take actions in the opposite direction to the content of the label because they feel it is unfair, which means that this "provoking method" is sometimes feasible.
However, at the same time, we should also be clear that if we want negative and negative labels to have a positive effect, two conditions are needed: First, the person being labeled can understand whether the label is objective and fair. ; Second, the labeled person must be relatively independent.
If you are a leader, can you reflect on your attitude towards your subordinates? Do those subordinates you label as bad really behave in your eyes as you expected? In order to avoid the adverse consequences of such wrong behaviors or concepts, it is recommended that we focus more on the strengths of our employees at work instead of focusing on their shortcomings. Because everyone has shortcomings, this is an impossible or difficult fact to change. What you have to do is to let them use their strengths and avoid their weaknesses at work.
Finally, in order to ensure that your label persuasion method can achieve better results, you should pay attention to several points:
1. Be reasonable.
Be positive, legal, and have a positive effect on others or the development of things.
2 is feasible.
The feasibility here refers to meeting the subjective and objective conditions of the actor, that is, having the possibility of realization.
3. Be challenging.
Expectations that are challenging and beyond the original level, but can be achieved through hard work, are attractive and motivating. Expectations that are out of reach or that are readily available are not desirable.
4. Hard to detect.
The psychological hints and incentives to others must be done discreetly, and obvious motives must not be revealed to avoid triggering the other person's rebellious psychology.
5 tags should be durable.
Have confidence, determination and patience. Even if you don’t see obvious results for a while, don’t be discouraged. Try a few more times and the results will appear naturally.