Caroline Cather (United States)
I am bored to live, live, live. ...
We finally broke up, not because of death, but because of life
We follow the dead but the living leave.
On my birthday, the wax-winged bird came to the garden.
I pecked all the leaves and made my heart barren.
I prepared oil and bread for birds in 12 months.
Hanging on evergreen branches, greasy gray,
Conventional decoration of winter solstice festival.
How do we face each other?
The victorious love is over,
The failure is over.
It has been so cold since I lived alone.
The clothes don't fit and my hair isn't combed properly.
I admit it for the first time.
My body and clothes are a little messy,
Together, I finally gave up.
"Thinking of you, I suddenly get old ..."
Month after month, I was a silent bystander.
I tried to erase you from my heart forever.
This isn't home anymore. Home has gone with you.
Disappear in one breath,
As fast as opening a letter I have read.
Knocking on the ground turned my fist blue.
Between me and the top, the clouds covered the fog.
Yes, I try to make my life happy.
I can't think about you endlessly,
But you make every day worth enduring.
(translated by Zhao Yiheng)
The poem "Winter Song" is shown in the notes behind the title of the poem: it is because I saw a poem by arthur waley (a famous English translator of China): "I miss you, and I am suddenly old", which aroused feelings and was also caused by feelings. Judging from the content of the whole poem, it is about a woman telling her former lover about her life after she left.
The first sentence of the first paragraph, with three consecutive "I can't get through", is decorated with "boring" in front and followed by a series of ellipsis, which immediately brings the reader into an endless boring life atmosphere, as if life is a heavy burden, lifeless and hopeless. In the days when there is no future, it is natural to recall the past. So naturally, the poet put his perspective on the past, remembering the moment when "we finally broke up" and the reason why "we" broke up. It was not death but life that separated us. The insipid "life" is unbearable. In the third line, the poet seems to sigh that with the passage of time, "we" are already heading for the final parting death. We should have finished this journey hand in hand, but we broke up before that day. Disappointment is beyond words.
The second paragraph is to recall the scene on the birthday. Everyone has a birthday, either a blessing from relatives or a greeting from friends. But on my birthday, only the wax-winged bird flew to the garden. Instead of bringing joy, it pecked away the leaves and the only life, which made the garden and my feeling of "barren" highly unified and set each other off. Then "I" took out oil and bread and fed them. The intervention of this action deepened the desolation and loneliness of "I". The poet also suspected that the publicity was not enough. He moved out the greasy gray of the winter solstice as their background. It is precisely "this time, what a sad sentence!"
The third perspective returns to reality. "I" imagined, after experiencing the joy and pain of love, after everything has become the past, "how can we face each other?" Now that everything has passed, "I" still can't let go of the past and still dream of reunion, which readers will appreciate.
In the fourth paragraph, "I" recalled the scene when I lived alone. The cold of nature once again becomes the background. A word "independence" and a word "cold" make the theme of loneliness staged again. Clothes don't fit, hair isn't combed properly, and these small faults reflect the image of a poet like a mirror. "A scholar dies as a confidant, and a woman is her lover." I, who live alone, have no interest in dressing up. After reading "Let me finally give up", it seems that a person who thinks he is a complete failure has collapsed and heard a deep sigh. I regret it. The fifth paragraph, "Thinking of you, I suddenly get old ..." This poem is not only the reason for writing this poem, but also a true portrayal of the poet's current mood. That small string of ellipsis indicates that the feeling of "old" continues. The next two lines tell us that the flow of time has quietly passed, and the poet has done nothing, just fighting against the past in vain and trying to forget "him" in vain, but needless to say, she can't forget it either. No, in the next paragraph, "I" confided to "him" again: "This is no longer home, and home has gone with you." Poets are likely to remember the last moment of their bankruptcy. Everything is broken in an instant, and so is life. Although "I" knocked on the ground furiously, although "I" was in tears, everything was decided in an instant.
Finally ended the memory, returned to reality, echoed from beginning to end. I try to make my life happy, but I can't erase my memory of him anyway. I thought I couldn't think of you endlessly, but you made me endure every day. Although it is bitter to miss you, it is painful to miss you, but because I miss you, I have you in my heart and embrace this love, I think my life is meaningful and worth enduring. Compare the weight of love and the position of lover in the heart in forbearance.
A "Winter Song" is long and sad, full of love and affection, and touching.