Although in the impression of many people, the ancients were shy when facing love because of the constraints of various etiquette systems. However, in the love poems created by the ancients, there is a bold attitude of pursuing love. The Book of Songs and Tang and Song poems both describe the burning emotions of ancient men and women in the face of love.
The Book of Songs? The poem "Yao Tao" describes the psychological activities of a married girl in straightforward and concise language:
Peach blossoms are in full bloom, colorful and fiery red. The girl is going to get married and be happy at her husband's house. Peach blossoms are in full bloom and there are countless fruits. The girl is going to get married, and the heir who gave birth early is going to make a fortune. Peach blossoms are in full bloom, and green leaves are lush and never fall. Should the family members return to China when the son returns? .
In the beautiful season of peach blossom and fire, a beautiful girl is getting married. Her mood is like a peach blossom in full bloom, and she went to her husband's house with joy. She is looking forward to having children early and living a life of caring for her husband and educating her children. This bold and straightforward view of marriage and love is very open even in modern society.
But this fantasy of longing for love is not as good as rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea after all. When two people are in love, they are affectionate, but when their enthusiasm is diluted by ordinary life, they are not soft when they hurt each other.
Modern women can choose to divorce according to the legal provisions in marriage, so did ancient women have the right to divorce?
The marriage tragedy of ancient women can only wait for divorce passively.
First, the change of women's status and its influence on marriage.
1. the transition from feminism to male chauvinism
History is like a mirror that has gone through many vicissitudes. When the dust on the mirror is brushed away, the miniature of history flies by before people's eyes like a movie. Old Tang book? There is a cloud in the Biography of Wei Zhi:? With copper as a mirror, you can be well dressed; Taking history as a mirror, we can know the rise and fall; Looking at people as a mirror, can you know the gains and losses? .
When you travel back to ancient times in just visiting, you will find that women living in ancient times are far less free and easy than modern women. Although the status of women was much higher than that of men as early as matriarchal clan society, it was only a drop in the ocean after all. When the Xia Dynasty was established, the male-dominated position was established. Since then, in the next 4000 years, the status of women has plummeted.
In fact, in the patriarchal society of more than 4,000 years, the social status of women has never surpassed that of men. Especially in the feudal society of more than two thousand years, under the bondage of Confucian ethics and Neo-Confucianism. Women's spirit, mind and body are bound by three obedience, four virtues, three cardinal guides and five permanent members, which makes women's status even lower.
2. Under the influence of the patriarchal society, women's marriage tragedy
When women are in a subordinate position, they can be said to be accessories of men. Under this premise, both marriage and divorce are involuntary. "Is it easy? Hengyouyun:? Women are faithful. . Just analyze the meaning of this sentence and you will know how low the status of women is.
Ancient women could only be loyal to one husband after marriage. If the husband died unfortunately, they could not remarry. This is a joke of modern women. But under the influence of the feudal system, one-sided It is the performance of chaste women. Under the bondage of feudal ethics, women can only let their youth grow old and live alone.
Therefore, it is not difficult to find that ancient women had no right to divorce at all. Even after her husband died, she could not remarry according to her own wishes. This involves? Three obedience and four virtues? . "Zhou Li? Tianguan once said:? Nine ways to master women's studies are governed by nine religions: female virtue, female speech, female appearance and female merit? .
And "Erie? Mourning in Xia Zi's Story:? Women have the meaning of three obedience, and there is no special way. So I didn't marry from my father, but from my husband, who died of my son? . From this analysis, we can see that even if her husband dies, a widowed woman should obey her son's wishes. If her son doesn't allow her to remarry, she can only live a widow's life for life.
3. Ancient women had no right to divorce.
Is it the social system or the feudal rulers who bully others? In fact, this phenomenon is closely related to social development and the relatively low productivity at that time. Under the influence of these factors, men have become the main force of social development.
For example, in internal or external wars, all ranks or generals are male. Even farming is a man's business, that is to say, when working hard or hard, men take the lead to forge ahead. Under the influence of this social opportunity, the status of men gradually stands out from the matriarchal society.
Open Tang Empire, Happy Tang Women
As the top super empire in feudal history, the Tang Dynasty once reached the first place in history in many aspects. Due to the loose rule of the rulers in the Tang Dynasty, the social atmosphere at that time was more open. Especially under the guidance of royal women in the Tang Dynasty, the status of women in the Tang Dynasty is also increasing day by day. There are even many women who can enter the DPRK as officials, and the well-known one is Shangguan Waner.
Especially during the reign of Wu Zetian, women living in the society at that time were simply the happiest people in feudal history. Because they can not only get out of the hall, but also read and read like men. Even some girls from official families can become a member of Wu Zhou on the premise of getting the moon first by being close to the water? Female officer? .
First, the awakening of feminist rights in the Tang Dynasty
Under the influence of this social atmosphere and ideology, women in the Tang Dynasty had more social rights and were equal to men to some extent. In Tang society, women can bravely pursue their true love, that is, they have the right to love freely. If you are not satisfied with the husband chosen by your parents, you can completely break off the marriage relationship according to your own wishes.
Even a woman who has worshipped heaven and earth and married her in-laws. If you are unhappy after marriage, or because of marital disharmony, you can go to the government to file a divorce application. Under the premise of political conflicts in all aspects, you can divorce your husband with a piece of marriage paper.
This is the pioneering work of past dynasties.
Second, the way of divorce in the Tang Dynasty
During the Western Zhou Dynasty, there was a relatively perfect divorce system. Seven outs and three outs? It's short for this system.
According to "Yili? Mourning record:? Seven outs? :? No children, one also; Fornication, second; Don't be an aunt, three also; Mouth, four also; Thieves, five also; Jealousy, six also; Bad disease, seven also? .
Three don't go? Right? Seven outs? There are some restrictions. You don't take anything back. If you have been mourning for more than three years, you will become rich first. If a man has the above three situations when divorcing his wife, he will generally not be allowed to divorce his wife. Unless the wife has one? Seven outs? Otherwise, forced divorce will be punished.
Seven outs and three outs? System, in fact, is completely the product of a patriarchal society. Because a woman violates one of them, she will be beaten to death by her husband? Divorce your wife? . In fact, this system was also very common in the Tang Dynasty, but after the awakening of women's rights, divorce became a matter for both parties.
1. Divorcing a wife is also called becoming a wife.
Technically? Divorce your wife? It's a male-dominated divorce. In short, is the husband writing a letter? Broken books? What about in this letter? Broken books? Counting his wife's mistakes shows his determination to divorce her, so that he can openly divorce her and then remarry. Although it seems unreasonable, it is the privilege of ancient men.
2.？ Li he? That is, a peaceful breakup.
In order to improve the status of women, the Tang Dynasty even enacted a divorce law. Li he? It is the marriage law that favors women, similar to the peaceful divorce in modern society. It is no exaggeration to say that among many divorce methods, Li He? It is the most humane way to break up.
Husband and wife have been thinking about their mutual affection for many years. Even if they get divorced, they will not swear or fight with each other. On the basis of friendly negotiation, two people go to the government to file a divorce application together, and once they get the law, they can go their separate ways. Moreover, divorced women can remarry according to their own wishes.
3. Lost feelings, broken? A must?
A must? With what? Li he? Is a pair of antonyms. A must? As a kind of forced divorce, it is not good for both husband and wife. On the whole.
A must? Generally, it happens when there is a vicious incident in the family of both husband and wife, and there is no room for easing, so this kind of divorce is needed.
According to the legal provisions in the Tang Law, it was recognized by the government? A must? Divorce, first of all, must be agreed by both husband and wife that they can't continue to get along, and then through enforcement, the former husband and wife will become strangers. If the couple rekindle their old feelings and don't want to divorce, they will be strongly sanctioned by law.