Wukong: Wow! Don't make noise!
Tang Priest: You scared me again!
Tang Priest: Hey hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Anger will offend you! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things around. Why did you ... you threw the stick away before I finished! Moonlight box is a treasure, it is wrong for you to throw it away, it will pollute flowers and plants!
...
Tang Priest: What?
Wukong: Let go!
Tang Priest: Do you want it? Wukong, how can I know what you want if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it? ……
Wukong: I am Kao!
...
Guanyin: Huh? The Monkey King!
Wukong: Did everyone see it? This guy talks about his mother-in-law all day. It seems that there is a fly, hum … sorry, not one, but a bunch of flies around you, hum … hum … flying to you.
In your ear, help!
Wukong: So I caught the fly, crushed its stomach, pulled out its intestines, and then grabbed its neck with its intestines and pulled it hard, heh! The whole tongue is sticking out! I'll start over! The whole world is clear.
Now everyone understands why I killed him!
2
Supreme treasure: Who's talking?
Schreiber: 500 years ago, your master Tang Sanzang gave his life to redeem you ... You haven't become the real the Monkey King, because you haven't met the man who gave you three moles. When you meet him, your life will change.
Supreme treasure: talk to me? Are you talking to me? Wrong person!
three
Supreme treasure: keep people under the sword! The result was suicide. Why did you kill yourself?
Bai Jingjing: I'll kill you first!
Supreme treasure: what a hero! Leave me alone!
Bai Jingjing: Let you go? You give me a reason not to kill you!
Supreme treasure: I was thinking ... give me a reason to kill me first!
Bai Jingjing: OK! You left me without saying a word, and you had a son with my senior!
Supreme treasure: You have completely misunderstood. ...
Bai Jingjing: Go to hell! (brandishing a sword to chop)
Supreme treasure: no, hero! I went back to ask your senior sister for an antidote to save you, and it was too late to find you when I got back.
Bai Jingjing: You lied to me!
Supreme treasure: You don't believe it? (Pulls out Yu Pei) Look!
four
Maiden: Fairy?
Girl: A monster?
Girl: Thank you!
five
Supreme treasure: I don't think there will be moonlight tonight.
Girl: Really? Bitch, you can't run out of my Wuzhishan, hum and hum!
Supreme treasure: What's your name?
Girl: Last name is Lin.
Supreme Treasure: Oh, so you are the "Brigitte Lin" that my eldest brother always said.
Girl: Your big brother?
Supreme treasure: The guy you hit yesterday is called Supreme treasure.
Girl: What about you?
Supreme treasure: I'm his twin brother. My name is Zhi Zunyu.
Maiden: Supreme Treasure, Wisdom Jade? Trying to cheat me?
Supreme treasure: Hee hee, you are so smart. Actually, my eldest brother's real name is Qin Han, and my name is Qin Xianglin.
Maiden: What are you doing here?
Supreme treasure: I ... I admire you very much.
...
six
Supreme treasure: the night is long and I have no intention of sleeping. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep, so neither could you, Jingjing!
......
Bai Jingjing: Why did you shave off your beard? Do you know that you have no personality without a beard?
Supreme treasure: Really?
Bai Jingjing: Well, you can't write in Chinese or use force. You don't want to be a mountain thief. Do you want to be a champion?
Supreme treasure: I thought about it. ...
Bai Jingjing: Save it! Change your image and be a promising mountain thief!
Supreme treasure: I see, I will definitely continue to work hard! (turns and runs)
seven
Bajie: In terms of wisdom and martial arts, I have always been a little higher than him, but now there is a Xia Zi fairy, and I am afraid.
A little taller than me.
Friar Sand: I'm here!
Bajie: Because of you, he is a little taller than me!
eight
Guanyin: the Monkey King, you bastard, in order to marry Niu's sister, he even gave you your master Tang Sanzang as a gift, and invited the monster to eat Tang Priest's meal with you. Do you admit your mistake?
Wukong: Sanbapo! You chased me for three days and nights, and I won't kill you because you are a woman. Don't think I'm afraid of you!
Tang Priest: Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?
Wukong: Wow! Shut up!
Tang Priest: You startled me again!
...
Tang Priest: Wukong, you are so naughty! I told you not to throw things around. It's wrong to throw things around. Hey, why did you throw away the stick before I finished? Moonlight box is a treasure. If you throw it around, it will pollute the environment. What will happen to the child?
Do it. Even if you can't hit children, it's not good to hit flowers and plants!
....
Tang Priest: What are you doing?
Wukong: Let go!
Tang Priest: Do you want it? Don't you just want to be clear? I'll give it to you if you want it. Of course I won't give it to you if you want it! No way. You want me to give it to you, and you want me to give it to you. Be reasonable! Now, on the count of three, you must make it clear whether you want to. ...
Wukong: I am Kao! (Knock down the Tang Priest with one punch)
Guanyin: Huh? The Monkey King!
Wukong: Ha ha ha ha ha! Did everyone see it? This guy talks about his mother-in-law all the time, just like there is a fly, hum … sorry, it's not one, it's a bunch of flies around you, hum … hum.
Wukong: So I caught the fly, crushed its stomach, pulled out its intestines, and then grabbed its neck with its intestines and pulled it hard, heh! The whole tongue is sticking out! I'll start over! The whole world is clean. Now everyone understands why I killed him!
...
Tang Priest: Sister, this is all your fault!
Guanyin: Huh?
Tang Priest: Wukong wants to eat me. This is just an idea. It hasn't been realized yet. You have no proof. What crime did he commit? Why don't you wait until he eats me, and you can prove it, so it's not too late to convict him!
Guanyin: Tang Sanzang, I've long heard of your verbosity. I didn't expect you to be so verbose! The diamond ring I gave you was used to subdue this monkey, but you were useless!
Tang Priest: Alas, the size of that diamond ring is too bad. The front is heavy and the back is light, and the left is wide and the right is narrow. After wearing it, it is very uncomfortable. I can't sleep all night, it will get me into trouble! Although he is a monkey, you can't do this to him. The government will accuse me of animal cruelty! Speaking of diamond rings, I met a blacksmith in Chenjiacun last year. He is exquisite in workmanship and reasonable in price. He is innocent. How about I introduce you to order another one?
Tang Priest: I won't embarrass you. Please tell the Jade Emperor that I am willing to pay the price of my life! As the saying goes, if I don't go to hell, who will? Please forgive me for doing this, sister. I just want to influence the bad guys to match my fearless spirit of compassion!
nine
Suddenly, Xia Zi pulls out his sword and touches the sovereign treasure's throat. )
Voice-over: At that time, the sword was only 0.0 1 cm from my throat, but after a quarter of fragrance, the hostess of that sword would fall in love with me completely because I decided to tell a lie. Although I have lied countless times in my life, I think this time is the most perfect …
Xia Zi: You take one more step and I'll kill you!
Supreme treasure: If you do this, I will die. Once there was a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it, and I regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. Cut your sword on my throat! Don't hesitate any longer! If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is … ten thousand years!
10
Tang Priest: Wukong, do you know what sonorous sonorous is?
Supreme treasure: what clang clang clang clang clang clang clang?
Tang Priest: Party Party Party Dangdang, that is (singing) only you! You can accompany me to the western classics. ...
Supreme treasure: hey ...
Tang Priest: An Liyou!
....
I'll take the fall, you go to hell and do your best for all beings!
...
Supreme treasure: I really can't I tell you. ...
Tang Priest: Go-go-!
Supreme treasure: Fuck you! Is that all you got to say (Punching down the Tang Priest) I have already told you that I can't do it, and you have to go up-up-! Open-open-! I can't stand ignoring me completely, and I'll stab you to death again!
Tang Priest: Wukong, you can stab me to death. There is no sorrow in life and no pain in death. When you understand, you will naturally come back and sing this song with me! Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha ...
1 1
Supreme treasure: I must miss Jingjing too much.
Bodhi: Yes, you called Jingjing 98 times when you fainted.
Supreme treasure: Jingjing is my wife.
Bodhi: There is another Xia Zi. You called him 784 times! Supreme treasure: huh? !
Bodhi: 784 times ... This Xia Zi must owe you a lot of money.
12
Bai Jingjing: Because that smelly monkey won't be so gentle with me. Who the fuck are you ?
Supreme treasure: I will be your husband in 500 years. 500 years later, you gave up this relationship because of me. I worked so hard to come back here and do all these things for you. Jingjing, I miss you. I really miss you. I miss you so much! Do you believe it or not?
13
Supreme treasure: come out! Grapes!
Bodhi: I don't want to spy on you. I just want to study some subtle feelings between people.
Supreme treasure: you are just a robber, big brother. Don't learn from others.
Bodhi: Robbers are also learned.
Supreme treasure: save it and go to bed!
Bodhi: Is Xia Zi an exclamation point or a period in your mind? Is your mind full of question marks? ...
Supreme Treasure: Xia Zi is just someone I know! I lied to her before, but now I just feel a little guilty. I hate her more and more! I'm getting married tomorrow. What do you want?
Bodhi: One day, you find yourself in love with someone you hate. This relationship is the most deadly!
Supreme treasure: but how can I fall in love with a person I hate? Would you please give me a reason? Please.
Bodhi: Do you need a reason to love someone?
Supreme treasure: don't you need it?
Bodhi: Do you need it?
Supreme treasure: don't you need it?
Bodhi: Do you need it?
Supreme treasure: don't you need it?
Bodhi: Hey, I'm learning from you. Why are you so serious? Need it? (turning around)
14
Tang Priest: How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? To say a word, I just want to make one more friend before I die.
Tang Priest: So being a demon is like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale. (Little demon armor begins to vomit. )
Tang Priest: Hey, he got it. Did you get it?
Tang Priest: People and goblins are born of mothers. Different people are fucking people, and demons are fucking demons. ...
Small demon armor: I can't stand it! (Draw a sword and commit suicide)
Tang Priest: What's your mother's name?
Demon B: Ah! (nervous breakdown)
Tang Priest: Look, it's my sister who wants to save my sister now, and that sister will definitely save her sister in the future.
Tang Priest: Look, am I right? (At this moment, Little Demon B hanged himself beside Tang Priest. )
Tang Priest: You are faster than me. You are really great!
Tang Priest: Look out! It thundered! It's raining to collect clothes! (The kids all fainted. )
15
Xia Zi: Asshole!
Wukong: What do you want? Bitch!
Xia Zi: Asshole!
Wukong: You are the bastard!
Xia Zi: You are not human!
Wukong: You are not human! Stop being crazy. Do you understand what I just told you?
Xia Zi: You know, I'm not a fairy anymore! I only understand one thing: it's so painful to love someone!
Wukong: Don't give me such nonsense. I told you you mistook me for someone else! ...
Xia Zi: My lover is a world hero. One day, he will marry me on the seven-color cloud. Guess the front, but can't guess the ending ... (head tilted) ....
Wukong: I want your life!
16
Tang Priest: Go!
Wukong: Master, where are you going?
Tang Priest: Tianzhu! (first out of the hole)
Wukong: Master, why do you talk like that?
Bajie: Master always speaks simply and clearly! go to