(1) Origin
When they were 17 years old, they were in their second year of high school and secretly went to a photo studio in the town to take a group photo, one for each person, and she was the one in the photo. The thin face is covered with a sweet smile, the shoulder-length black hair is scattered naturally, the big almond-shaped eyes are looking shyly ahead, the lips are pressed tightly and tilted upward, and she is wearing a floral blue cloth dress, which makes her look even more flattering. Make her clean and bright. And his short shaved hair made his bright face more clear-cut. A cultural shirt was worn on his well-developed body. He was not shriveled and desolate, but seemed to have the spirit of a casual teenager.
He was a whole head taller than her. She leaned her head slightly on his shoulder, and he put his right hand behind her, without holding her waist, but just placed it behind her, as if Block out everything.
The memory is like being fixed on this photo. They did not say they loved each other, but they both knew in their hearts that no one could replace the other's place in their hearts.
His name is Gu Jingcheng, her name is Xia Xiaoyu, she lives in the town, and he lives in a village not far away.
When did we first get to know each other? It probably started on that rainy day. That day, the school suddenly became panicked in the quiet autumn afternoon. A girl in the second grade of junior high school suddenly foamed at the mouth and lay down on the ground. Most of the classmates dispersed. Some of the bold and flexible ones ran away to find the teacher. Others He watched from a distance, covering his nose with his hands. Only Gu Jingcheng ran over quickly, pulled up his sleeves, wrapped his fingers and hurriedly stuffed them into her mouth. People nearby seemed to hear the girl bite her tightly. It was like the sound of chewing bones, and Xia Xiaoyu was a student in the next class. Because it rained that day, he didn't go home for dinner, but he caught up with this scene.
After the school doctor who hurriedly came to provide emergency treatment, a group of adults took the girl away. A group of shocked students discussed in groups of three, five, and four, and the campus returned to calm. But Xia Xiaoyu stood outside the window of Gu Jingcheng's classroom and saw the deep blood marks on Gu Jingcheng's hands.
Xia Xiaoyu took out the band-aid she had brought with her and put it on the table in front of Gu Jingcheng. Without saying a word, she looked at him deeply and left. Gu Jingcheng, who had just recovered , only took a quick glance at the girl who carried a band-aid with her, her refreshing ponytail, and her gentle almond-shaped eyes under her shy face.
Xia Xiaoyu always carries band-aids with her because she always has someone to save, such as kittens and puppies, because when her father, a doctor, sometimes treats others, she always Be proactive and maybe these will become a habit. The reason why Gu Jingcheng was so calm and brave when facing a girl suffering from epilepsy was because he had a mother with the same condition, and he was already used to facing it in life.
He and she got to know each other like this, and everything seemed to have begun, but how could he predict the future?
But, without such a beginning, how could the subsequent stories happen?
(2) Get together
"Mom, you eat meat." Looking at the cute and sensible face of her five-year-old son, Xia Xiaoyu swallowed her tears hard to keep them from flowing out, Ever since she made up her mind to give birth to him, she secretly swore in her heart that no matter what, she would smile strongly in front of her child, because she was the one who brought him into this world, and everything she did wrong or right should be corrected. Take it upon yourself.
"Good Beibei, thank you, mom. Come, let's eat together. Eat this green vegetable. My little Beibei will definitely grow stronger." The mother and son are in their forties. In a bungalow with an area of ????square meters, at the corner of the alley.
The house is divided into two large rooms, and the living room inside is divided into two small rooms. There is a large cupboard outside, which is filled with some medical drugs and equipment. This is Xia Xiaoyu and her son. The place where Beibei lives together is also where she survives, a small clinic.
Today is her thirtieth birthday. She closed the door early and cooked more dishes that her two sons loved. Beibei was very happy and knew that a birthday was a day worth celebrating. Xia Xiaoyu and The son prepares to blow out the candles together.
"Mom, you haven't made a wish yet!" Beibei also knows that you have to make a wish on your birthday, "Yes, mom has forgotten it, so Beibei can make a wish for her mother, and it will definitely come true."
"Dad will definitely come to pick us up!" Beibei's little face looked pious and determined. Xia Xiaoyu held her son tightly in her arms, not wanting him to see her crying. She also didn’t want her son’s little heart to bear the disappointment because of the lies she told.
"Dudu", someone was knocking on the door. Xia Xiaoyu thought someone was coming to the emergency room, "Who is it? What's wrong?" Since giving birth to Beibei, she has invited a local aunt who lives alone to live with her, firstly to help take care of her, and secondly for safety. It is inevitable that the clinic will not have emergency services at night. She is a bit scared as a woman, and the aunt is not here today for something. , so she closed the door early.
"Excuse me, does Xia Xiaoyu live here?" The familiar voice said in a trance, "Who are you?", "I am Xia Xiaoyu's friend, my name is Gu Jingcheng, does she live here?" "
Like a star from a distant planet, the impact made Xia Xiaoyu's heart tremble and she was at a loss. This familiar and unfamiliar name that she called countless times in her heart missed her but was afraid of seeing it. People never expected to appear here at this time.
"Who do you think you are?", she asked tremblingly, "Xiaoyu, is that you? I am Gu Jingcheng." Since I saw that photo and the text you wrote, I It's here, Xiaoyu, no matter what, we should be brave and not miss it again."
"Dad is here to pick us up?" Beibei was very happy, holding Xia Xiaoyu's hand. Go and open the door.
The door opened, the rolling shutter was rolled up, and bright light shone on the man who pushed open the glass door. The fatigue on his face could not hide the joy on his face. His tall body was dressed in a navy blue windbreaker. Under his mature and restrained expression, his handsome eyebrows were staring closely into Xia Xiaoyu's astonished eyes.
Finally, Xia Xiaoyu’s tears flowed down, like a turbulent and bursting sea. All the memories came overwhelming with this opened door, breaking the dusty past...
(3) Acacia
This child is the result of Xia Xiaoyu’s indulgence. It has nothing to do with love or affection, but it has something to do with the pain of lovesickness. It has nothing to do with the man who created life, but it has something to do with her love and her love. His life is related, so Xia Xiaoyu, like all happy and troubled mothers, has been living her life wholeheartedly and loving her son as much as possible.
Ever since Xia Xiaoyu and Gu Jingcheng met like that, Xia Xiaoyu couldn't help but pay attention to him secretly, watching the way he hurried past the window in the morning and the way he left quickly after school.
She insisted on having lunch at school, plaguing it to her parents that she could save time reading at school, but in fact she just wanted to have more opportunities to see Gu Jingcheng.
The school cafeteria is always crowded, with small groups of people chatting with each other, and Gu Jingcheng always seems to be lagging behind others. After Xia Xiaoyu paid attention a few times, she discovered He didn't go to the cafeteria at all, but ate steamed buns with a glass of boiling water in the classroom. Xia Xiaoyu's heart ached for no reason.
Gu Jingcheng knew that Xia Xiaoyu asked for help with food every now and then, and she was deliberately taking care of him. Originally, he should have refused, because he never felt that he was uncomfortable, but he couldn't say it out loud. , ever since the kindness in her gentle eyes was imprinted in his mind, he remembered her.
As a result, a tacit understanding was formed between them. Sometimes the two of them would meet up to play together on weekends. The countryside and fields were the most beautiful scenery, but they were both kind-hearted in their first love and did not understand love. Love is the most beautiful thing that belongs to kindness. It does not necessarily mean that what you think and think is the same to be happy, but it is something that makes you feel warm, comfortable, reassured, and then happily happy because of the presence of the other person.
From junior high school to high school, Gu Jingcheng and Xia Xiaoyu have been attracting and staying with each other in an unknown and blatant manner. No one noticed anything unusual, but they were attracted by a boy named Gu Tao. Look secretly in your eyes. Gu Tao is from the same village as Gu Jingcheng. He is the son of the village chief, a man who knows how to observe words and emotions.
Although she knew that her parents might not approve of her dating Gu Jingcheng in the future, Xia Xiaoyu had already promised her life to Gu Jingcheng in her heart. No one could replace her. She also thought that they would always be together. We can stay together, go to high school, go to college, get married, and have children.
The senior year of high school had just started. One morning, Gu Jingcheng ignored everyone’s surprised looks and called out to Xia Xiaoyu that something was wrong. Next to the road outside the school gate is a large field. The rice is about to be harvested. It is bright yellow and accompanied by rows of dark green trees. At times like this, even if they stay for a while, they feel beautiful. Today, Gu Jing Cheng looked solemn and worried.
His mother, who had been ill for a long time, was no longer alive, and his father, who was working on a construction site, broke his back. Originally, he wanted to endure it no matter how hard and tired he was, but now he couldn't help himself. His aunt settled in Xinjiang. Because she objected to her marrying Gu Jingcheng's father, she refused to recognize her for so many years. Now in this situation, his father put aside his pride and asked for his son, and he had been worried for so many years. The aunt decided to bring the family of three to live in Xinjiang no matter what. The main reason was that they could get better scores in the exams there. Gu Jingcheng was the only hope for this precarious family, which was to win but not lose.
"I will write to you, and we will meet again after we are admitted to college. Believe me, you must wait for me." "I will!" Such an agreement filled my heart like the autumn wind, Planting the seeds of lovesickness with unforgettable thoughts, waiting for the harvest time, who could have predicted that the cold wind would suddenly blow up?
(4) Waiting
When Xia Xiaoyu fainted while working in the hospital and was discovered to be pregnant by her colleagues, the whole hospital was like a pot exploding.
Although the world today is tolerant of the relationship between men and women, public opinion cannot let an older girl get pregnant, especially a girl like Xia Xiaoyu who doesn't even have a boyfriend, let alone in a hospital where interpersonal relationships are relatively complicated. place.
When the news reached Father Xia's ears, he was so angry that he couldn't stand still and almost lost his breath.
Yes, as the director of a department in a municipal first-class hospital and the leader of a certain subject, Father Xia is highly respected and respected, and Xia Xiaoyu has always made him worry-free.
In fact, not long after Gu Jingcheng left that year, Xia Xiaoyu also left that small town. Because of her father's job change, the family moved to the city. When Gu Jingcheng left, he made an appointment to send a letter to Xia Xiaoyu. However, she had been looking forward to it for a long time but still had no words. She was afraid that she would not be able to contact him because of her move, so she asked Gu Tao every three to five days when she was free. Without contacting Gu Jingcheng, Gu Tao always told her sadly that Gu Jingcheng seemed to have disappeared from the world, and there was no news after he left.
But the fact is that as soon as Gu Jingcheng arrived in Xinjiang, he wrote to Xia Xiaoyu and gave his new contact address. However, he was too concerned about it and was afraid that if he wrote to the school, the guard would not be able to deliver Xia Xiaoyu. In hand, for the sake of safety, he sent it to Gu Tao's home, asking Gu Tao with thousands of instructions and instructions. But he didn't expect that Gu Tao has always been secretly in love with Xia Xiaoyu. Secret love is like crazy grass, it can't bloom but it can barren the garden of a person's heart.
While Gu Tao was telling Xia Xiaoyu that Gu Jingcheng had not been heard from, he was also telling Gu Jingcheng about Xia Xiaoyu’s life. Her grades were still very good. She was getting more and more beautiful as she grew older. She was getting along with the principal’s son. It was very close, and she might be admitted to a certain school. I heard that the leaders of her father's hospital also joked about marrying her father. In short, Xia Xiaoyu lived a colorful life.
Gu Jingcheng’s Hanliang life did not change because he moved to Xinjiang. On the contrary, because he left the familiar environment, his mother’s illness worsened and she left all at once, while his father’s illness did not recover. Collapsed on the bed, although there was still one semester left, Gu Jingcheng left the school decisively. He could not abandon his father and join his aunt for the sake of his own future.
From then on, in Gu Jingcheng's heart, Xia Xiaoyu was like a jasmine flower exuding a faint fragrance. She often appeared in dreams and missed her in his heart, but he did not dare to touch it with his hands.
However, Xia Xiaoyu didn't know that she thought it was because of her departure that Gu Jingcheng couldn't be found. She firmly believed that he would come back. He said that she would wait for him, and he had never lied to her.
Therefore, Xia Xiaoyu, who firmly believed that she could not contact Gu Jingcheng for some reason, would always return to the fields where they once walked and stand there when the feeling of longing lingered and made her breathless. Passing under the trees, laughing on the bridge, breathing in the breath of memories.
Perhaps the saddest love in the world is not a person’s love or lack of love, but a kind of lovesickness, a kind of deep-seated waiting that seems to be touchable but out of reach and cannot be let go. So, The longing will become thicker and thicker in lovesickness, so thick that a heart needs to be strong enough to be able to withstand the bursts of pain.
Gu Jingcheng was like this, and Xia Xiaoyu was like this, but Xia Xiaoyu made the mistake of approaching Gu Tao.
There is a kind of closeness in this world just because you love one person and get close to another person. Just like Xia Xiaoyu often contacts Gu Tao, she just feels that being with him is like being close to Gu Jingcheng. A little bit.
So, until graduating from college, Xia Xiaoyu had always been in contact with Gu Tao, although it was neither salty nor light.
Xia Xiaoyu, who originally wanted to go to a liberal arts college, obeyed her father's advice and went to medical school because Gu Jingcheng had said that she wanted to apply for a medical university. However, Xia Xiaoyu had never met Gu Jingcheng until she graduated and started working.
On the contrary, in her second year at work, she was invited by Gu Tao, who was doing business in the same city. On her birthday, she got drunk and took over what he thought was love. From the commanding heights, he ignored her remarks that she was just a friend. He ignored her lovesickness that always belonged to Gu Jingcheng. He only knew that love meant getting, even though the consequence was that Xia Xiaoyu disappeared from his world.
Xia Xiaoyu hated her indulgence and broke her vow to wait for Gu Jingcheng until he was thirty. If Gu Jingcheng missed her, he would not come to her after he was thirty. If she doesn't see you, then she will definitely let it go with a smile, and then find someone who is calm and peaceful in this world.
However, she foolishly handed herself over to someone she didn't love, so Xia Xiaoyu, who was so filled with regret, didn't even think about the consequences of such an indulgence.
Xia's father was furious and forced Xia Xiaoyu to hand over the man. After receiving the news, Gu Tao came to propose marriage with generous gifts. Xia Xiaoyu was suffocated by the pointing comments from everyone in front of her. She packed her bags and stayed away from everything. , and came to this small town with simple folk customs, and regularly sent letters to my parents without an address but with a photo.
Whenever she misses, is confused, feels helpless, or feels pain, she will write down her feelings in her home in the community until one day she uploads the photo and her Story, her persistence and waiting for love alone. Until one day, someone saw another person, another identical photo.
Gu Jingcheng, who failed to go to medical university, experienced a hard life and hard work and became a businessman, an elegant businessman who loved reading and sold medical products. At first he wanted to come back and at least give an explanation for his original promise, but after getting the news from Gu Tao that Xia Xiaoyu was married and living a good life, he put her in his heart. She lived happily and deserved it. is the best.
He got married, but then divorced. There was no reason why, but both parties felt that they didn’t feel that way, so they broke up naturally while they didn’t have children. He also has a touch of sadness, but he can only take it out with words and put it on the Internet together with those painful and itchy years, and put it together with his thoughts in the photo, and flow with his mood.
The bodies of Xia Xiaoyu and Gu Jingcheng hugging each other tightly are unfamiliar, but the lovesickness that has never left them is as familiar as their own, so how do they need to distinguish?
"Are you daddy?", "Baby, yes, daddy is back from a business trip." Gu Jingcheng and Xia Xiaoyu said in unison as they hugged Beibei, laughter and tears flowed out involuntarily. .
The night finally returns to the tranquility it deserves, and love, if you miss lovesickness in your heart, will never be lost.
Time is like water
Wuzhen, a water town, is ancient, clean, peaceful and quiet. There are high eaves, black window lattice and long bluestone road. , narrow streets, secluded water alleys, thin awning boats, smoke and fog, steaming clouds and rosy clouds, long grass and orioles flying, flowers blooming and falling, the passing years are like water. It is so small that it cannot be found on the map, but it is a very suitable place for love and lyricism.
There was a man who once loved me deeply. He held my hand quietly and silently, standing at the ancient ferry in Wuzhen, a quiet winter day, watching the years flow by.
Wuzhen in early January is like a beauty, elegant, delicate, gentle, dignified, exquisite and transparent, completely in line with the classical charm of "Jian Jia is green, white dew is frost"; January in Wuzhen is also like poetry, smooth and long , sweet and fragrant, full of flowers and full moon, immersed in the depths of the small bridge, flowing water, and sunset mist all day long, like a big dream...
He is the misty rain dream I left in the south of the Yangtze River, warm and misty, A slightly damp sadness and warmth linger in my memory. Walking in, it will always be so quiet, ancient and eternal that will not change for thousands of years. Such a calm and affectionate young man keeps all his love in his heart. If you don't tell him, he will bear it forever. The clear love of youth, calmness and intensity, are all integrated into the passing years of a small town in the south of the Yangtze River.
He has always been silent and introverted, and most of the time we spent together were quiet and speechless. He was quietly by my side, walking with me in the fields in the suburbs, looking up to see the clear sky.
At that time, the homework was heavy, and the only time to see each other every day was for ten minutes after class in the evening self-study. On days when it didn't rain, he would wait for me under the yellow flower tree next to the old music building. He was wearing a dark blue plaid shirt, with his sleeves rolled up slightly, watching me quietly as I walked toward him with a smile.
Almost all walks are on the playground, and fireflies begin to appear in early June. One by one they fly brightly in the wildly growing grass, like little lanterns flying all over the sky. The scene is as beautiful as a dream and makes people marvel. He stretched out his folded hands and placed a firefly in my palm. He always likes to put them in my hands: wintersweet soaked in rain in winter, with a dark fragrance filling my sleeves; hand-woven concentric knots from Wuzhen; golden and bright little sachets from Nanxun, and my favorite Dove and Crystal Love.
Most of the places we visited were water towns in the south of the Yangtze River, such as Nanxun, Hanshan or Wuzhen, ancient and quiet places. The small bridges and flowing water in Jiangnan are suitable for growing love. Sometimes I was so tired from walking that I would fall asleep in the car on the way back. I could feel his eyes burning and focused as he carefully wiped the sweat from my face with a tissue.
At that time, I had just ended my first relationship, and I was tired of being with someone I didn’t love. I met him instead because of an accidental party at school. He sat behind me, as silent as a plant. On the way home, I suddenly found that the May roses were in full bloom, and their fragrance was overflowing.
He is a silent and reserved person who seldom speaks and communicates even less. In the silence, misunderstandings and doubts were entangled, accumulating and becoming increasingly difficult. His smile at me became less and less frequent, and his eyes looked away when talking to me. Until one day when he could smile easily to an ordinary friend, a chill gradually filled my heart.
Finally, the painful part of that trip to Shanghai was revealed and I couldn’t control it anymore. That was the first and last time I hated him. Later he said that the way I looked at him at that time was as sharp as if I wanted to kill someone, which made him fearful and regretful. That was the first time he cried in my ear. I refused to forgive him, and then he became seriously ill. Why does regret always come after loss?
We are drifting further and further away from each other, and we can never look back.
However, he really loves me, just like Zhu Suosuo’s cousin in "Golden Years".
A long time later, when we could finally be at peace with the past, we realized that his silence was because he was afraid of losing me. I thought of a sentence he accidentally saw written by him a long time ago: "I don't want anyone to comfort me. The pain and tears retreat before dawn." We were in love at that time, and such a sentence was naturally not written about me. I vaguely heard him talk about the harm his previous girlfriend had done to him, and realized that this was where his worries arose.
At that time, we had separated, and beside me was the person I loved deeply. Even though I know he is still behind me, there is no turning back.
The mismatch of love leads to disappointment.
We were young at that time, wandering in the gentle and peaceful time of the water town. A group of people got lost in a long and cold alley. He pushed open a wooden door and saw a tall courtyard covered with beautiful blue calico hanging from tall bamboo poles, swaying in the cold air. In the wind, it is simple and moving. That winter day, we decided to be together.
We were drunk in the water town, and our years were like water.
Time is like water and can never be returned...