In the warm afternoon, I accidentally read a poem entitled "The Heritage of Dandelion". The poem reads, "Autumn/Dandelion is getting old/Children ask/What is the legacy/Mother silently gives each child/puts on an umbrella that flies far away." The poem is few words, but it is full of profound meaning and makes people chew. So the surrounding forests and various social scenes flashed in my mind, and I couldn't help but look up and sigh: Dandelion's broad mind and foresight are admirable!
what kind of legacy will you leave to your children? Most people's understanding is to leave children money, status and rights-
In the world's mouth, if you can give your children a huge fortune, a right to be bossy and a position to call the wind and rain, then it can be regarded as a legacy. However, a decision made by Bill Gates, the Internet tycoon who had been the richest man in the world for 13 years, was like a heavy hammer, which penetrated the other side of the ocean, and those waves stirred up parents in China to rethink the "heritage theory". When Bill Gates announced his retirement, he announced his intention to give back all his $58 billion fortune to the society instead of leaving it to his children. As soon as the news came out, parents in China were feeling "Is Bill Gates crazy?" At the same time, they began to think about this question: How much should parents do for their children?
Gates has an underage son and two daughters. They were born in 1996, 1999 and 22 respectively. In other words, they are still students, far from being independent, not to mention "successful career". But Bill Gates, the father, just didn't leave them a fortune. Gates believes that having unearned wealth is not a good thing for children who stand at the starting point of life.
But around us, many parents are always afraid that their children will suffer hardships, so they will give everything they have, try their best, or leave their children an inheritance of 1, yuan, or find a good job for them, so that they can live comfortably under their own protection. It is in this psychology that "heritage" is positioned as money, status and rights. However, "leisure can lead to death", and parents have arranged a comfortable nest for their children, but unconsciously eroded their ambitions and ambitions, causing them to breed the bad habit of leisure and hate work, and even serious psychological obstacles. Didn't a college student commit suicide by jumping off a building because he couldn't even take care of himself in the most basic daily life? If all our descendants are cultivated into such "greenhouse flowers and plants", then the future of the motherland is very worrying. Such a legacy is not to benefit future generations, but to delay the next generation!
A calm lake never makes a tough sailor, and a comfortable environment never makes a great man of the times. Dandelion's foresight and Bill Gates' wise decision-making are what we should seriously study and pursue. Under the condition of parents' ability, when the child is still a young eagle, parents have the responsibility and it is necessary to slowly and silently tie a strong wing for the child to fly. However, when the children grow up, parents must put away the arms that shelter their children from the wind and rain, and let them leave the warm and comfortable embrace to feel the true meaning of life and experience the vicissitudes of life. The "flying solid wings" are like dandelion's "flying umbrella". There are self-confidence, perseverance and ability in the wings ... Such a "legacy" will not be exhausted, but will only create wealth, start a career and build a beautiful blueprint for life. If any parent can do this, then his legacy to his children is the best in the world.
in western countries, in order to cultivate children's self-reliance, children have to live apart from their parents at the age of eighteen and fight for the world by themselves. Why can't we do this? The outside world is wonderful, why not let them enjoy it by themselves? "The outside world is very helpless", so why not let them travel by themselves? Coincidentally, mark zuckerberg, a 23-year-old American boy named "Gates II" who ranks among the Forbes rich list, took the initiative to leave the established track of affluent life at the age of 2 and founded a social networking site with friends that both yahoo and google can't underestimate. Now, Mark still lives in the one-bedroom apartment he rented. In his own words, "I don't have much reaction to this flashy world. I just want to build a long-term thing, and I don't care about other things. "
As we know, many foreign children start to "support themselves" at the age of 18, but for children in China, 18 is just the beginning of university, and most children are still spending their parents' money at university with peace of mind. "In fact, the age of self-reliance of children in China is not advanced but postponed now." Giving money to children without giving them exercise, can money produce courage to face life and wisdom to solve problems? Excessive giving only cultivates more "old people". Sociologists believe that in fact, "gnawing at the old" not only means that the source of life is still dependent on parents after adulthood, but another kind of "gnawing at the old" is manifested in finding a job by relying on parents' relationship, even if they are married, their ability to take care of themselves is poor, and they use their parents' home as a "canteen", etc. The most serious "gnawing at the old" is actually mentally unable to be independent, and they don't know how to go in the future except following their parents' instructions.
how much should parents pay for their children? Liu Zhigang, an expert in Tianying Parent-child Center, believes that parents should support their children's growth, but don't try to do everything for their children, whether it is material or spiritual. The famous writer Howard Carter Jr. explained his view of "heritage" like this: "We hope to leave two permanent legacies to our children, one is the root and the other is the wing." "Root" is a person's mind and quality; "Wings" represent his ability to adapt to the world. Children should first have a positive personality, which is the foundation of a healthy person; And hard work, courage and frustration can help him forge ahead courageously on the road of life. Psychologist Xie Guanghui believes that only these are the most precious wealth that parents should leave for their children.
Give your child an "umbrella" to fly far away, and let the child fly far away! Only by stumbling forward can you achieve a real person.