It seems that this is a match made in heaven.
As for the theme of the poem itself, I don't think it is necessary to change anything. It is a good theme to pursue ideals and beauty and express your beliefs.
What I want to say is that you can study and think more about the language of poetry. Let me give you an example: you used wings in the first paragraph, so if you change the second paragraph from "when sweat soaks the wings" to "when sweat soaks the wings", will it be more varied, smoother and more pleasant? You also have a little problem with your language foundation. Some details show that your language foundation is not solid enough, such as "I believe that the scenery is not far ahead and choose to move on". Not far ahead is a bit strange, and the place not far away is better. However, if this sentence is used in front, the next sentence should not be used in advance, otherwise it will be repetitive.
Another example: "When the dew on the leaves unconsciously dances into autumn frost", Poetry itself allows imagination and deformation, but moderate exaggeration should also be based on relative facts. Dewdrops can't dance on leaves unless the leaves shake vigorously with the wind, and in that case, where can there be autumn frost? Therefore, there is something wrong with this sentence. If it is changed to "autumn frost", it will be good.
I think there are a lot of rules in modern poetry, and literary lovers can write different feelings in various forms, so everyone should be encouraged to boldly imagine and innovate on a relatively solid literary basis. Therefore, I think you can write your feelings and make people understand them. Being able to feel something is a certain achievement. Improving by others is not as good as improving by yourself. The improvement of your own level is more. I suggest that you read more works, not necessarily those of celebrities, learn from others' techniques and strengths, and finally create your own style.
Therefore, I only remind you to pay attention to these details without changing them. I wish you better and better writing.
Supplement: There are many repetitive languages below, so I hope you can consider them again. Actually, something is wrong. You want to write about winter, but most of them write about spring. It seems that a new title must be added in front of "A flock of birds leap into the field of vision", or it should be redesigned. In short, the paragraphs behind winter run away.