Tonight in Yanzhou, I can only watch it alone in my boudoir. I pity my children from afar, but I still remember Chang'an. The fragrant mist and clouds make the servant girl wet, and the clear jade arms are cold. When do I lean on Xuguo, my tears will dry when I shine with my eyes. ——Du Fu's "Moonlight Night"
This is a love poem written by Du Fu for his wife when he was imprisoned in Chang'an at the age of 45. He looked at the moon and missed others. Du Fu wrote too much about his family and country. It was night, and his thoughts were only on his wife. What he saw at that moment was only a moon, and what he thought about was only one person. He did not mention the ups and downs he had experienced in his life. , and he didn’t know how many disasters he would have behind him. After writing this once-in-a-lifetime love poem, he chose to forget it quickly.
What he could not choose to face was the reality. This spring in Chang'an was completely different from previous years. At this time, the Anshi rebels had taken control of the two prosperous capitals in the past, and the Hu people detained the Han people in Chang'an; the well-organized palaces and mansions were either burned down, or filled with Hu people, ranging from concubines, princes, and grandchildren to grass bandits and refugees, all under the control of the Hu people Under the blade of the horse hoof, I was in constant fear all day long.
When the whole of Chang'an was bleeding, he was mostly angry. So he made a grudge: "The barbarians came back to wash their arrows with blood, and they still sang barbarian songs to drink in the city; the people of the capital turned back and cried to the north, watching day and night for the arrival of the army."
He He is concerned about the growth and decline of the enemy and ourselves, the situation of mountains and rivers all day long, mourns the depression of Qujiang Chiguan, and laments the mountains and rivers after the fall of the country. He couldn't let go of this, not for the rest of his life.
However, in this broken spring moonlit night, he wrote the most sincere words in the turmoil; will she cry? It's late at night and the weather is cold, isn't it? My children still need her care, but who knows when I will come back?
It’s not easy for her.
He is not a poet who is good at colorful writing. When he was young, he did not have any pen and ink stained with makeup. During the Kaiyuan Tianbao period, his poems were not very interesting, but they were praised by Yang, who was ten years his junior. Her father was a Sinong Shaoqing, but he was still resentful that she had not yet made any achievements in her thirties.
He always looked at Shouyang Mountain, where his grandfather Du Shenyan, who gave him the tradition of writing poems in the Du family, and his ancestor Du Shenyan, who made him always keep the responsibility of his family and country in mind, are buried there. pre.
She was not very old, but she respected her husband who was currently in decline and followed him around Luoyang and the foot of Shouyang Mountain.
Ten years after meeting Li Bai in Chang'an, he witnessed the splendor and luxury of the palace and the women and children crying on the Xianyang Bridge because of Erlang's expedition. While I was there, I suddenly felt horrified when I thought of the heavy rain that had caused disaster in Chang'an City and the people had no rice to eat.
However, he himself was just wandering alone in and around Chang'an.
In the spring of the thirteenth year of Tianbao's reign, he had been stranded in Chang'an for seven or eight years, seeking an official position alone, both for his career and to support his family. And she probably would rather work hard than leave her husband to make a living in Chang'an. In the spring of that year, his wife Yang came to Chang'an with her eldest son and second son. However, floods and droughts followed one after another, and there was a severe famine in Guanzhong. It rained continuously for more than sixty days, and his several acres of mulberry and hemp fields were of no avail. Seeing the hopeless situation in the mud, he simply locked the door of his house and watched the two children playing in the rain.
He can't take care of them well. He had to send her and the children to a place where they could live. After the Qiu Yu ended, he had no choice but to send his wife and children to Fengxian, and traveled between Fengxian, Chang'an and other places. Even though the couple was deeply in love, in order for his wife and children to have enough to eat, he had no choice but to continue running the business alone. It took a year to finally find an official position, and before taking office, he decided to visit his wife one more time.
In the night of the winter moon, his fingers were so frozen that he couldn't even tie the broken belt. He walked all the way through Lishan Mountain, past Huaqing Palace, and across the Wei River, but when he arrived at his house, he heard crying. , because the child died of starvation, he couldn't help but burst into tears:
"I am ashamed to be a father, and I will die young if I don't have food."
My wife was born in a famous family, but she endured so much hardship and pain because of him. , if you had not chosen him or defected to your mother's family, it might have been better than following him. But she was still willing to follow him among the working people, farming and weaving, and raising two sons.
He didn’t know how else to repay. After the war, he is now trapped in Chang'an, a place where things have changed and people have changed. Under all kinds of mixed emotions, it turns out that the person he misses the most is still his wife.
The days in Chang'an ended with the civil strife of the Anshi rebels. He took advantage of the chaos to escape, and went to meet Suzong. Suzong gave him the position of "collecting relics", but he did not really want to give him the power to give advice, so he was almost convicted when the advice went against his ears, but he was later released.
The autumn rain continued, and a few refugees and wounded soldiers were coming and going outside the city. Further away, there were mountain fruits growing on the cracking rocks. He rode a borrowed lean horse to Yanzhou, where wild rats were buzzing in the fields; passing by the battlefield late at night, he could see the white bones in the moonlight. I can still return to Qiang Village, but I feel that I am so confused between life and death.
When his wife Yang saw him, she was completely shocked at first, and then burst into tears. There was no news for a year, and her neighbors told her that her husband had most likely died in the war, so they sighed. At night, the two of them sat in front of the candle, "relatively like a dream."
In troubled times, people are like nothing. Even in life and death, love remains intact, how steadfast it is.
When Du Fu looked at the "hundred knots" on his wife's clothes, his child's little feet without socks, and his daughter's patched clothes, he had to blame himself repeatedly and write it on his heart with a paper knife.
He still asks for a job to make a living.
After Suzong captured Chang'an, he also returned to the court to serve. He was cautious in everything, and his poems were mostly used for singing and singing. Life was peaceful but narrow, until he was affected by party strife again and left Chang'an permanently for other places. Passing through Huazhou, Luoyang, and Tongguan, poetry revived. After writing "Three Officials" and "Three Farewells", he resigned from his official position and took his family to Qinzhou to collect and sell medicine, then to Tonggu, and then to Shuzhong. The whole family had to walk all the way, crossing the mountains in the morning and crossing the river in the middle of the night to find food in the mountains, which was extremely difficult. After arriving in Chengdu, he settled down and ran a thatched cottage with the help of friends. This secluded residence near Baihuatan, Wanli Bridge, and Huanhua Stream has witnessed the family's most rare peace after being displaced.
Flowers, trees, insects and birds, quiet night spring rain. In his daily work, he never forgot about the country and the country, and he also devoted himself to criticizing literature. However, people who calm down to ponder poetry have no problem jokingly calling their wives "old wives."
"The old wife draws paper to make a chess game, and the child knocks the needle to make a fishing hook."
The "old wife" is included in the poem, it is difficult to express love, but the family affection is strong and full.
"In the daytime, I led my old wife to a small boat, and in the clear day I watched the young children bathing in the Qingjiang River."
Being from a well-known family, she naturally knew how her husband called her Yang in the poem, and did not let him change. Even if she is ten years younger, it doesn't matter if she is his old wife. Taking care of her husband's illness after his wandering journey, and playing chess and boating with him, her calmness and comfort after going through all the hardships are also admirable. It is unknown what kind of affection and strength support her.
Chengdu is not a paradise after all. The military rebellion broke out again, and Du Fu had to run around in Shu. On the way, he was pleasantly surprised when he learned the news that the army had recaptured Henan and Hebei, and that the rebellion had been put down. He wanted to share his joy with his wife so that the sadness on her face would disappear. Mrs. Yang has long been able to understand that her husband's joys and sorrows depend on the country's situation. When he is happy, he is happy for him and thinks of him in everything.
However, the subsequent life in the shogunate in Chengdu forced him to live in the mansion all the time, away from the thatched cottage and family outside the city. Life in the shogunate was dull and difficult:
"The entrance is still empty, and my old wife looks the same as me."
He was sad, and she also looked sad.
He couldn't help but think:
"When will the war end and Piao Piao be ashamed of my old wife?"
After he left Chengdu to escape the chaos and went to Kuizhou , the mountain gorge is even more isolated from the outside world. He was suffering from many illnesses, his body was aging, and his friends died or disappeared. He used poetry to enumerate Wuyue, Chang'an, Luoyang, and Bashu, write about the suffering of ordinary people he saw with his own eyes, and also discuss policies. Perhaps in order to bring an end to his life, he decided to leave Xiaxia and go to Jingzhou. Starting from Jingzhou, his aging body made him rarely seen by others. He encountered obstacles everywhere and had to travel eastward. He ended up living in Tanzhou, with all he had left was a boat, and he spent most of his time on the boat.
She has been following him. They struggled to survive the period of mourning, but ultimately failed to overcome disease and poverty. His wife was unable to bury him, so she had to bury his body in Tanzhou.
He was fifty-nine years old when he died, and Yang was only in his forties at most. However, they stayed with each other for thirty years; even after his death, Yang raised his son, so that forty-three years later, Du Fu was able to be buried with his grandson in Shouyang Mountain, buried with other great figures of the Du family .
They are actually side by side. Even though he was in hardship, even though he was suffering from hunger and cold, even though future generations could not even know her name, he must have cherished his old wife very much, and so did she.
She firmly believes that her love is valuable and worthy of her persistence for him; it is precisely because of the persistence behind her confidant that the poet, who has had a rough life, has a destination before and after his life.
The greatest form of love is this.