Please comment on this poem.

Generally, I can understand what you want to express, and I feel in place.

I just always feel that the connection is not good, and there is no fluency that poetry should have.

A lot to think about. See the big picture for yourself. Give you some advice from small aspects:

1, it is better to change the footsteps into footprints.

2, in this vast land, delete the text, feeling more coherent with the disappearance behind.

3, "so much" is not very smooth, it is recommended to use "this much"

Combined with what is said upstairs, it seems more inflammatory to change to the vast land.