People always want to be closer, but in fact, in all interpersonal relationships, there are boundaries.
Between people, getting too close is a disaster.
No matter how good the relationship is, it also loses distance and freedom, brings a sense of security and troubles.
Borders are needed between husband and wife, as well as between parents, children and friends.
Learning to maintain a proper sense of boundaries is a compulsory course for everyone's life.
In all comfortable relationships, there should be a proper boundary.
Nobody likes being told what to do. Without boundaries and discretion, it will only bring trouble and inconvenience to others.
Keep a proper distance between friends, and everyone may get along more happily.
Once upon a time, a friend was very popular, and everyone liked to talk to her about their worries and troubles.
I used to envy her. I had so many friends and asked her the secret of making friends, but she recalled her past.
In the past, she was actually a strong person and always wanted everyone to listen to her opinions.
However, sometimes people who talk too much may not accept it, and their heartache will not be treated in the same way, but will be farther and farther away from everyone.
Later, she made up her mind not to impose her ideas on others, not to say much about what she shouldn't say, and not to intervene in what she shouldn't do.
Unexpectedly, I left a reliable impression on everyone, and everyone was willing to tell her everything and ask her for advice.
She said: "The advantage of doing this is that I am relaxed, I don't have to bother myself, and others are very comfortable."
In fact, the so-called high emotional intelligence in dealing with people is to know the sense of boundary.
Just as Xi Rui mentioned in "Seven Pa Shuo", "It is comfortable to get along with a person with boundaries and establish a sense of boundaries".
You can have many friends, but no matter how good the relationship is, you can't lose your sense and respect.
Keeping the border will not affect your relationship, but will save you a lot of trouble.
Knowing the depth, knowing how to advance and retreat, can not only make your interpersonal relationship easier, but also make your friendship more stable and firm.
If friendship boundaries are the most common, parent-child boundaries are the most often ignored.
We often blur the boundaries between parents and children under the banner of "being good for children".
Some time ago, a mother made a hot search on the video of installing monitoring and supervising her daughter at home.
Mothers always monitor whether their daughters read books on time, sit correctly and so on through their mobile phones.
Can supervise also just, she will suddenly shout through the intercom camera:
Many netizens saw this and felt a cold sweat behind them across the screen.
I have read such a line: "Never underestimate the enthusiasm of domestic parents. For the sake of children, they can give up everything and naturally demand higher control. "
But such an atmosphere, not to mention children, even adults feel suffocated.
Love without boundaries is never love, but the biggest disaster for children.
Zhu Chaoyang in Hidden Corner has changed from an introverted schoolmaster to a dragon in the abyss of depravity, largely because of his mother's cross-border control and bondage.
Parents constantly interfere with their children's individual behavior, attribute their emotions to their children, and make them lose the ability of self-responsibility. The final outcome can only lead to harm.
The best parent-child relationship has always been respect and equality.
Parents and children are independent individuals first, and then relatives.
Only when parents control their own hearts can children grow up to be independent, physically and mentally sound and have the courage to travel all over the world.
Keeping a good border can also make children look their best.
In all relationships, the boundary between husband and wife is the most confusing.
Some people think that marriage brings two people together, but the sense of boundaries encourages two people to become independent individuals.
Does intimacy conflict with the boundaries between husband and wife?
Not exactly.
In the variety "Trio of Happiness", Iola tamed the "Wolf Warrior" into a "Big Wolf" and became an envied fairy couple.
When the program group asked her how to get happiness in her family, her answer was:
Two people are basically two independent individuals, so it is very important to leave room for each other and have a sense of boundary.
It is better to keep a distance and space from each other than to make noise.
Therefore, after Iola married Jason Wu, she did not give up her career, but still engaged in her favorite hosting work.
Jason Wu has also publicly stated on many occasions that he supports his wife in pursuing her career, and family responsibilities can be shared by two people.
He also joked, "If she loses herself and walks around me every day unhappy, what good fruit will I have to eat?"
We have seen too many couples, thinking that once we get married, we will ignore you and me and depend on each other.
Finally, the strong side resists, and after a long time, love will dry up.
Everyone has his own ideas, and everyone's ability is limited, which is beyond the scope of love.
So both husband and wife must learn a lesson:
Everyone is a respected individual, and we should also respect the boundaries of others.
No matter in career or family responsibilities, we need to give each other some quiet and independent space and find a comfortable distance between each other in order to love for a long time.
As described in Ji Bolun's poem:
We are independent but interdependent. We always appreciate each other, respect each other and hide from each other.
Boundaries are invisible, but they really exist in our lives.
Recognizing the boundaries between husband and wife, leaving room for each other and not indulging in endless intimate desires are the necessary prerequisites for maintaining the relationship;
Keep the parent-child boundary, free yourself from the anxiety of accompanying children, and also give children the love to breathe freely;
Set the boundaries of friends and don't invade others. In return, others will not invade you, at least they will not let themselves fall into the negative emotions of life.
We set different standard distances according to people with different relationships, which is also a sign of a mature and independent person.
Knowing and respecting boundaries is the biggest rule among people, and it is also responsible for one's own life.
When you know what you want and what you can do, and have a complete and conscious mind, you can better control your life.
Facing the ups and downs of fate, you will be braver, and you will still love life after seeing its true colors.
Click "Search", I hope we can all become a firm and bounded person.