/kloc-the trip of 0/8 years old will be a long trip tomorrow? This makes Yang feel a little incredible. Me too. I know it's a good thing for him to go to college, but mixed feelings will still come up. In the unspeakable joy, sadness and parting, I had to send him on a long journey.
When I calm down, I sometimes think, if only I could go back in time. Let him go back to the past, I am willing to accompany him to grow up again and experience the hardships and surprises of raising children again. Looking at him is like expecting a bud to grow into a tree and bear fruit in autumn.
Who says not? In eighteen years, he grew into a tall and thin young man in a simple day. And the experience there seems to have happened yesterday. At that time, we lived in a small town near the canal, and its tributaries flowed through every corner of the town's bungalows. Every corner of the water is full of water plants, water chestnuts and lotus roots, and there are groups of fish and shrimp swimming. In summer, we catch fish and shrimp in shallow water with small nets and grass. Yang followed with a bucket in one hand and a lotus leaf in the other, and his expression was extremely happy. Once, he saw a chicken circling around the fence outside the fisherman's yard and shouted happily, Mom, look, what a big bird!
Listening to the sudden motor sound at night, he will plunge into my arms and bury his head and face deeply. In his imagination, a monster came. During the day, he will act as the god of war "Altman" and become a coward at night. How many times did he get sick with a high fever at night and walk around in the dark to carry him to the hospital in the town? Maybe the night wind woke him up and he would say, mom, I can't stand it. Feel it. The news added a layer of comfort to my urgent heart.
I'm going to primary school. I'm not six years old, but I'm extremely tall and fat. On the first day, I walked hand in hand with him in the alley of the town. At the beginning of September, apples, pears and persimmon trees on the fence wall of every household were covered with green fruits, and the branches hung low under the heavy pressure, crossed the fence wall and slapped pedestrians. We reveled all the way to the gate of the primary school. There are many messy children and parents on campus. Like other children, he looked around with timid eyes, and his little hand curled up in mine, sweating like a pig. After finishing the entrance formalities, I watched him be taken away by the teacher. But he kept looking back, like crossing an endless time tunnel, just to make his eyes coincide with mine from a distance, and then my worry was even more surprising.
A few years later, we moved out of the town and into the city, but he still remembered it. There are too many habits in fishing villages. When he first came into contact, he didn't get along well with the children in the city, which made him go through a painful time to adapt.
How many times to study with him, studying late into the night. I didn't have a higher education, and after dawn, I went all over the city to find him study materials; Every time he goes downstairs to school, I look down from the window of the building and see high school from elementary school. In the footsteps of running around, he also grew from a tireless teenager to a tall and thin young man. Every exam seems to be another adventure. I'm worried about his failure. Did you have a good time? When you get a bright future, you will naturally be as happy as him. Why not be careful? That's what I always say. I hate iron and steel, and I never thought I was a child prodigy?
And time will never understand people's minds, nor will it slow down or slow down because of your certain expectations. It's the same law that has remained unchanged for thousands of years. I can't wait to tear it into pieces and knead it into a ball like dough, and then let me count the moments of parting with Yang. I think I will have a long holiday next time I see him, more than four months! How many days and nights should there be in the morning and the stars set? My heart has been moistened into an ocean. I am afraid that he will see through this intention and turn his face and smile at him. Boys are boys, always so careless, I can't see how sad my mother is. His smile was surprisingly pure against the sunflower flowers in the morning light, and it was a little green, which opened on the face of eighteen.
His vision for the future may follow, and the road in the distance is as wide as the avenue of the Roman Empire. Yang quickly picked up the wrapping paper outside the suitcase, and didn't think I was so slow when I helped him. Does he know that my heart feels hollowed out like a suitcase he opened?
Well, every child's long-distance trip is different, and the age of leaving home and parents is different. When I get older, I have better room for development and can achieve my career in the future. I understand this truth very well, but I am a little sad to see him like a bird who has lived in a cage for a long time and is eager to fly out. After more than ten years of hard work, I got a "passport" to enter the university. This is only a short victory in the race against time. I'm afraid I'm overwhelmed by the trend of the times before I can surprise you. I really hope he can calm down and think about it. The outside world is wonderful, but don't forget that the outside world is also helpless. Can you fill the suitcase that will be taken away with heavy knowledge?
The box is open, and how to put things away needs a simple thinking. It really doesn't need to be as complicated as studying physics, chemistry and calculus. In my opinion, it is unnecessary for him to bring so many clothes from home. With so many clothes, I feel that he has been away for too long and will never come back. There is no scene in the ancient poem in which she sewed and mended carefully, and she was miserable. He bought all the big clothes, shoes and socks. I think children nowadays are really happy. The superior social environment gives them better development space and opportunities to display their talents, and they don't have to worry about food, clothing, housing and transportation.
Then bring toiletries, preventive medicine, boxes and backpacks. My instructions may fill his ears, but I still want to say it. Then I thought, he will leave home tomorrow. How can I live without him? How's it going? Ask yourself.
On August 27th, 20 15 still came. His father went to send him on the noon train. I'm sorry I can't go with you because I have other things to do. When I said goodbye to him, I gave him a hug that I wouldn't normally do. My head can only be attached to his chest, which is very tight. His long arm rested on my shoulder. Obviously, he was just putting on an act and reluctantly accepted his mother's affection.
I stood upstairs, my eyes followed his figure bit by bit, and then the figure flashed into the car and disappeared. I am waiting for him to roll down the window and look at the window where I am standing. The car started, but he didn't I understand that people are all the same. The so-called affection is the premise of separation from parents from the birth and growth of each child. No matter how many times we meet and leave, we can only watch him drift away. When I am alone, there are only tears in the room. And the smell of my son when he just left, and the tall figure was gone.
I've been counting how fast time flies, and now I'm on the train. The train goes to the northern border town, and it also carries all the dreams of my son. I wonder if life in the north is enough for him? In the following days, all the tiredness, warmth, coldness, pain and happiness will be borne by him. I will start a new life by myself and try to adapt to the days when my son is not around.
But this adaptation still needs a long process. I cleaned up the messy room that Yang didn't have time to clean up after he left, and I felt that no one would please me. When I sweep and mop the floor, no one will walk around and step on it. I will have more time to myself. What should I do? Over the years, my children have enriched my life and given me more surprises and hopes. When he left, I felt that this time and space was really empty. Every day away from the hustle and bustle of life, home is a quiet world, and my heart is bitten by loneliness. It takes courage and strength to drive away these loneliness and emptiness.
Standing in the living room, habitually staring at the child's room, the bed is made by me, the computer is still charged, and the blue light is flashing. After eating the apples left over for a few days, they are very dry and full of gas field, which reminds me of a distant color in ancient paintings. I don't want to throw away the leftovers because my son ate them. And the books he studied, piled up in the corner. How many times have I tried to wake him up in the morning, and how many times have I tried to cook something for him? When he is addicted to playing computer, he will be advised to study. Even if he can't get the golden house and wealth in the book, he just wants to step into the door of a university safely. Although going to college is not the ultimate goal of life, it is a stepping stone for a person to enter the social class, which makes him sometimes refute my statement. Our argument started endlessly in imagination again. Looking back silently, my heart is full of decline.
I wanted to clean the whole room, but now I have no strength, so I want to take a rain check. I have to get used to my son's absence.