It seems that this is a kind of fate.
It seems that we live far away.
As for the theme of the poem itself, I don't think it needs to be changed. Pursuing ideals and beauty and expressing one's beliefs are good themes.
What I want to say is that you can learn more, think more and exercise more in poetic language. For example, in this poem, you use too many wings, which makes you look dull and lose agility. Let me give you an example: in the first paragraph, you used wings, so you changed the second paragraph from "when sweat soaked your wings" to "when sweat soaked your wings". Do you feel that the change is bigger, smoother and happier? There is something wrong with your language foundation. Some details show that the language foundation is not solid enough, such as "I believe the scenery is not far ahead, so I choose to move on". Not far ahead is a bit strange, not far away is better, but this sentence is used in front, so don't use the next sentence in advance, or it will be repeated.
Another example is: "When the dew on the leaves unconsciously dances into autumn frost", the poem itself allows imagination and deformation, but moderate exaggeration should also be based on relative facts. Dewdrops don't dance on the leaves unless the leaves shake strongly with the wind. In that case, how can there be autumn frost? Therefore, there is something wrong with this sentence. It would be nice if it was changed to "condensed autumn frost"
I think there are many rules in modern poetry, and literary lovers can write different feelings in various forms, so we should encourage everyone to boldly imagine and innovate on a solid literary basis. So, I think you can write down your feelings so that they can understand. Being able to feel something is a certain achievement, and others' promotion is not as good as their own. As for the improvement of your own level, I suggest you read more works, not necessarily celebrities.
Therefore, I only remind you to pay attention to these details and don't change them. I wish you better and better writing.
Supplement: There are a lot of repetitive words below, I hope you will reconsider. Besides, you were wrong last winter. You want to write about winter, but most of them are written in spring. It seems that a new title must be added in front of A flock of birds jumping into view, otherwise it will be redesigned. In short, the paragraphs after winter have been written out.