I have reached an age where it is easy to miss the past. Whenever all is silent at midnight, the past will always fall asleep. Moreover, it is still so real, as if I have never left. Time is such a rogue. When I die quietly, I must leave some memories in people's hearts.
No one calls me by my first name and last name anymore. Some people may say that half-baked people will call me that, and they will say so when introducing themselves, but there is no such will.
In the midsummer of that year, the weak fan turned the blades. Although I opened the window, sweat still dripped from my back, and my arm dared not put it on the table, because the wooden table seemed to absorb the last residual heat before sunset and burned badly. I can only stand in the corridor and study hard.
In the midsummer of that year, I wrote down the school I wanted to go to on the wish wall with longing, leaving my favorite slogan, "princes will have seeds." I thought that the books piled high on my desk would always send me to the other side, but in the end, I lost to fate.
That summer, I didn't say goodbye to her after all. I am afraid that my long-standing strength will collapse in an instant, and I am even more afraid that she will tell me not to think about her. So I wrote what I wanted to say on a piece of paper, but I can't remember where I hid it afterwards.
In the midsummer of that year, all contradictions and concerns melted, only remembering that everyone had to tidy up, review books, prepare for exams, go home and have a holiday. I was full of words before, but I still couldn't say it. I only gave her a hug at the end of study last night.
I always said it was a strange year. Last year, all I could think about was hard work and goodbye. In the second half of the year, I had to put my glorious or peaceful past to zero. All my memories seem to come to an abrupt end with that exam, and the whole world is so quiet that I can only hear breathing. When I got back to the hotel, the bus that took us home was already waiting. Two days of exams, three years of fatigue are gone. My parents didn't ask me anything I looked at the rapidly receding scenery outside the window, as if I saw the shadow of time.
Later, my mother said that at the end of the college entrance examination, she was afraid to look at my face, for fear that the fleeting fear on my face would affect her worries. She's right. I'm really scared, but what I'm afraid of is not the exam, but that I can't go back for a while. The older you get, the easier it is to miss the past. Living in the present is of course a wise saying, but memory is beyond everyone's control, memento mori!
From the moment we met, many stories were continued. It is said that fate is in our own hands, but we can work hard to the end, but we are only a protagonist, and the content of the script is not up to you. Today, the only time I became a master was to engrave that girl in my memory forever. No matter how many people stayed in my heart, that figure never dispersed. I once said that the person you love most is not necessarily your other half, but your other half is the one who suits you best. My roommate said that there are both situations, but there are only a handful of such situations, right?
Some people say that the person you liked in high school will be the person you love the most in your life, because there were no secular fetters, no mixed interests, only the simplest talking and laughing, petals falling along the way when walking hand in hand on campus. Because there are too many complexities now, people yearn for simplicity and miss the simplest emotions. The smiling face in memory may be a mature face in the next moment, but the only constant is the memory left in my heart.
I was only moved when I watched the girl we chased together in those years, but now I am reliving the play, full of memories, and I like it so much. I am glad that there is a girl like "Shen Jiayi" in my life, who lights up the whole night sky of my youth. When the waves of the years beat on me, I still hope to feel the taste of the sea of youth again.
The best feelings need not be vigorous, just like the warmth of the rising sun in winter. Those just right things are worth cherishing forever. Maybe you have long been used to my affectation, so I will be affectation again. Dear, thank you for meeting you in the vast sea of people. Please allow me to be nostalgic again. Now you are my best friend and my most precious confidante. I don't want the story to be so dramatic, but I hope you are happier than me. I really want to go back to those years, back to the front and back of the classroom seat, and deliberately find your gentle scolding.