Missing my father
My father is gone. He went to a far, far away place, a distant paradise, and never came back.
In the dead of night, recalling the old past brings sadness and joy. Tears of longing well up like a spring, and the pain of longing recurs countless times in my night dreams. I can never forget my father’s warm past and strict tutoring of his children...
When I was a child, our family They are very poor, and sometimes they don't have enough to eat. The parents are worried about their children, who have worked hard for decades to raise them until they have a family and a career. However, parents who are upright, kind, hard-working, and simple require their children to be well-behaved, honest, kind, honest and trustworthy, and be virtuous. Don't be too rich, don't be too poor. To make a person poor but ambitious, he must have ambition and backbone. He also repeatedly warned that only by doing more good deeds, good deeds, and accumulating virtue will you be rewarded with blessings. These principles are simple, simple and easy to understand.
At the same time, my parents have maintained a diligent and simple life style for a long time. They usually spend their whole lives on simple meals. All efforts and contributions are a kind of responsibility. It is the responsibility of parents to protect us from wind and rain and provide children with good health. We took care of the family, fed and clothed the children, and sent them to school. During those difficult and difficult years, we brought up seven of our brothers and sisters, and each of them got married and started a business. This is the greatest gift that parents can leave to their children. The kindness is also the greatest warmth and blessing to our family. It made me deeply aware of the principle of being virtuous and practicing virtue in the world.
When I was young, I was full of passion and devoted myself to the country. I left my parents at an early age and spent too little time with my parents. I had very little filial piety. I had the following "When I was young, I didn't understand the kindness of my parents, but when I became sensible, I was already a middle-aged man." ". My parents are still alive and have a place in life, so I feel guilty when I think about the past. Every time I go home to say goodbye, I can see his reluctance and his wish in my father's eyes. I remember that it was a few years before my father passed away. When I left home, my father held my hands tightly with a look of reluctance. I don’t know if he was watching intentionally or if he had an expectation and an instruction. I always I feel like he has always regarded me as a treasure in his heart. There is a custom in my hometown that "the eldest brother is the father and the eldest sister-in-law is the mother" because he was once the eldest son in the family and had many responsibilities for the family. Now that I am the eldest son in the family, the important responsibilities of the family are also entrusted to me. At every reunion, the whole family will sit together and chat about family affairs. My father often says the saying "The eldest brother is the father, and the eldest sister-in-law is the mother." ...". In fact, I listened carefully to every word my father said. I will always remember my father's teachings. Being as diligent, kind, honest, good at giving, and courageous as him is not only his character, but also our family tradition.
I remember when I went back to my hometown to visit two elderly people more than ten years ago, my parents always mentioned their future affairs intentionally or unintentionally. They often said what they would do "a hundred years from now"? I always think that we, the younger generation, do not understand these things, and give repeated reminders and advice to us, as children, thinking that we brothers and sisters work in other places all year round and are busy with our own affairs all day long. If there is an unexpected event, we will not have time to prepare when we come back. The two old people were a little indifferent about the destiny of life, and also thought that life will come to an end. This is the law of nature. They feel that they should do some planning and preparation in advance while they are awake. Therefore, they prepared the coffin more than ten years ago. Rural people have this custom. Buying a coffin means that they must be buried. Children all find it incredible. The two old people are obviously in good health, can eat, sleep, and are in good spirits. Why are they so anxious to make preparations? Maybe they are forward-looking and have seen a lot as they get older, so they make the decision. made this decision.
Later I realized that firstly, I was afraid that we would not have time to buy a coffin when we came back from other places; secondly, we were afraid that we would not understand the rules and customs of the countryside; and thirdly, we were afraid that our children would be transported for cremation. Since ancient times, They all believe in "rest in peace", so they are very repulsive to cremation. Once the day comes when we celebrate our 100th birthday, we will be thousands of miles away and the journey is far away. Even if we take a plane, we may not be able to buy a ticket or arrive in time. His idea is not unreasonable. In fact, I made this decision out of consideration and concern for my children.
When I went back a few years ago, my mother prepared all Pepsi’s inner and outer clothes, shoes, robes, hats, etc., one box for each person, and she even took it to the living room and showed it to me, as well as other things I needed. All the photo frames are ready. At that time, I was at a loss and wondered whether my parents had asked someone to tell their fortunes. Knowing that time was running out, I hesitated and said, "Mom, you are just looking for something to do." From then on, I had a hunch that they were nearly eighty years old after all. Since then, I have gone back once or twice a year, sometimes three times, and one year four times. I am very happy to see that they are safe and in good health.
I remember that when I returned to my hometown to visit relatives more than thirty years ago, supplies were scarce at that time. I not only brought some coastal specialties to my parents, such as dried cuttlefish, dried squid, dried shrimps, sea cucumbers and other local specialties, but also I have my own rituals, big and small bags, like a camel carrying them on the front and back. When I got home, I was sweating profusely. My parents felt sorry for me and asked me why I came all the way to bring these things back. Then, my mother took the dried cuttlefish and cooked it. Maybe because the cooking time was not long, they couldn’t bite it and said it was very unpalatable. From then on, I never brought the specialties from the coast.
Now that we have abundant material resources, our hometown lacks everything. Instead, we give them some money every time we go back and let them use it for living expenses or pocket money as daily expenses. This is simple and convenient. The greatest kindness in the world is the nurturing kindness of our parents. This is worth cherishing with our lives, being grateful with sincerity, and repaying the kindness with practical actions.
Time is not forgiving. As the sun sets day after day, and as the flowers bloom and fall year after year, I gradually find that my parents are getting old. One year when I went back to my hometown, I saw that the health of two elderly people was getting worse every year and they were in poor health. I wanted to take them to the hospital for medical treatment. After exchanges, we learned that firstly, going to the hospital to see a doctor is complicated, with queues to register, queue to see a doctor, queue to pay, queue to get medicine, and queue to get injections. There are so many people going to the hospital to see a doctor, it's crowded, it's like a wet market, noisy, there are so many departments when you go to see a doctor, you have to run up and down the stairs, for fear of trouble. The second factor is that they are afraid of spending money and always want to save some money. This is their old habit. Sometimes when they get sick, they overcome it and persevere on their own, or seek treatment from local doctors or folk remedies. They have developed the habit of frugality throughout their lives. The third factor is the fear of causing trouble to the children, who rarely come back. After I learned about the situation, I asked my old comrade-in-arms, who was the director of the County People's Hospital, to lead him to connect with various departments, saying that it would be convenient for the elderly and give him the green light to allow the two elderly people to conduct a comprehensive examination. After examinations from various departments, my mother's health will be better. My father's body will need CT, MRI, fluoroscopy, blood drawing for routine blood tests, and urine and feces tests. The test results are very bad, and all indicators exceed the standard. . My father usually suffers from high blood pressure and gout, and many health indicators of his body are showing red lights, which has seriously endangered his life. Fortunately, there is such an old comrade as the dean, who uses some privileges and enjoys special treatment, so that he can get a smooth inspection.
After his father was admitted to the hospital in his later years, the doctor confirmed that he was suffering from uremia. Many health indicators of his body also turned red again - high creatinine, high blood pressure, high uric acid, and unstable heart rate... ...especially the renal failure complicated by uremia, which has seriously endangered his life. For a period of time after that, my father was bedridden. In addition to hemodialysis, he took medicine, injections, infusions, fluoroscopy, blood tests and urine tests all day long, and accepted various treatment plans from doctors.
The brothers and sisters settled down and established their own families, and each member of the big family expressed their love for their father in their own way. Companionship, greetings, washing and feeding, serving soup and water, seemingly ordinary and ordinary household things, interpret the sincere filial piety every day, and provide care in different ways. However, he still bid farewell to this world.
My father passed away due to illness two years ago, and my mother was the most devastated. They had been husband and wife for decades, and had a deep relationship through hardships and hardships. They lost their former partner and companion in one night* **She is in pain and reluctant to let go of her hard-working partner. As children, our hearts were very heavy. We didn’t know how to comfort our mother, and we tried every means to help our mother come out of the shadow of grief.
Looking back over the years, my father was an upright man. For the sake of his children, he tried every means to change himself. He contained his love in letters, taught deeply, and spoke thousands of words with sincerity and sincerity. My father loves to be clean. When he was young, no matter how tired he was, the first thing he did when he came back from the fields was to wash his hands and scrub himself, and finally eat. He had to wash his clothes freshly and fold them neatly before wearing them. Go out. Every little thing is vivid in my mind. Even if the years have turned his temples white, he still teaches us and tells me how to do my job well and contribute more to society. When I was in the army, I was also required to listen to the leadership, obey management, and follow arrangements. I was also required to be positive, strengthen military training, study politics hard, and strive to join the regiment, join the party, receive awards, and perform meritorious services with excellent results. I was repeatedly told not to worry or miss. them.
I missed my father and thought of every bit of him unconsciously. I felt sour in my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes. I thought that he had never enjoyed much happiness or lived a good life. Before I left, I was tortured by illness. I couldn't swallow a mouthful of food, and I was still gasping for air, with a painful expression. Every time I think of this, I feel empty in my heart. My father left like this.
I am a materialist and do not believe in the reincarnation of life and death. But every time I think of my father, I believe in heaven and that my father must live in heaven. I can only express my love for him in this way. Thoughts of my father.
Far away, I carry a wisp of breeze, invite a bright moon, and silently wish my father in heaven all the best in the silent years!