Assistant: Look, Mr. Gao, this is the man we selected in the thirtieth session, the thirtieth session, the thirtieth session …
Chief Gao: OK, just tell me the selection result.
Assistant: Here are the details of the candidates who entered our top three. Please have a look.
Chief Gao: It's almost time. Let's get started.
Assistant: First place, 007
007: Time waits for no one, time flies. In today's market, I also come to compete. I want to know who I am. I am a graduate student and I am proud.
Assistant: OK, please sit down. Second place, 20 12.
20 12: I graduated from university this year. Alas, there are always a few days in a month when people are old enough to graduate from college. Faced with all kinds of pressures, he is flustered and short of breath. But, comrades, he has no chance of survival, so I'm here to apply.
Assistant: OK, please sit down. The third place is 9527,9527.
Miss Gao: You are all here to apply. What our company wants is talents in sales promotion, either with education or experience. You are all educated people. ...
Suddenly, a tattered man came in from the outside recently. He ran too fast and almost fell down. )
9527: Sister, I'm sorry I'm late.
Assistant: Who is your elder sister? This girl is only the age of flower season! Huh? How can such a person suddenly appear!
9527: big sister? There are no flowers in my village, only a handful! (exaggerated, use the posture of holding to describe flowers)
Shop assistant: OK. Now let's introduce ourselves and report your name, address, age, nationality, birthday, gender, marital status and educational background. ...
Chief Gao: Don't bother. Just name and academic experience.
20 12: That's more like it, otherwise I thought it was a police station!
007: My name is 007. I'm from Thailand and graduated with a master's degree. After the edification of school culture, the tempering of society and the test of life, I came to your company to apply. I will sell my knowledge to the company, use my culture to promote it, and bring the world outlook, values and outlook on honor and disgrace to the overall interests of the company. ...
Assistant: Stop, stop, Vilti, next!
007: Don't know how to respect talents.
Assistant: Come on, let's move on. Next.
20 12: I want to be old, smoke and drink and play Warcraft; If you want to ask me what I want in my life, my wife and children depend on me. Hello, everyone. My name is Zheng Youquan. I graduated from Yale University in Afghanistan. Alas, social competition is cruel. Comrades, I'm done. Thank you very much for your silence.
Assistant: Please sit down, next.
9527: Good evening, friends and audience present. My name is 9527. I am a dragon with a dragon. I only have rich experience. Please listen to the next chapter for details.
Chief Gao: OK, OK, OK, let's start asking questions.
Assistant: Excuse me, if a beautiful girl appears in front of you, how can you sell yourself and make her accept you?
9527: Examiner, can you not? I already have a wife. I'm afraid my wife won't let me sleep in the bed.
Assistant: Hypothesis, hypothesis, understand? ! !
9527: Suppose, oh.
007: Hey, I really feel sad for those who have no knowledge.
007: I will recite a very emotional sentence and make her submit to my literary talent.
Assistant: 007, do you think a poem can impress that girl? If so, many old ladies will fall in love with you every day, because you talk a lot every day. You can recite a poem now and see if you can make your aunt across the street accept you.
20 12: I called all the traffic policemen back and shouted at the place where the girl appeared: beautiful girl: Zhen has the right to love you.
Assistant: Zhen has this right. You said you could ask all the traffic police to help you. Well, a person goes to the street to find a girl and says loudly that you love her, to see if she will call you crazy!
9527: Although I am still afraid, I must seize the opportunity. I will say: elder sister, I can cook, I can wash clothes, I can farm, I can take care of children, but I can't have children. Can you give birth to a fat baby for me?
Assistant: 9527, hey, just because you are so bear, do you want other girls to have children for you? Do you think others are your domestic pigs? You can have them if you want.
Assistant: Since you are selling yourself, you should regard each other as a fortress.
9527: Examiner, it is a peaceful time, so there is no fortress. If we want to fight the Japanese fortress now, all the able-bodied men in our village have already picked up hoes. Is it my turn?
Assistant: Hey, you, this is still a hypothesis, a hypothesis! ! Well, I wonder, why did you apply for 9527?
9527: I have experience (clap my chest, hold my head high, be proud)
Assistant: You have experience? Then why do you say that donkey's lips are not right for horse's mouth?
9527 (indignant): No, I really have experience. You see, I sold chickens at home, pigs in the village, cows in the village and blood in the city. Isn't this all experience? Oh, by the way, when I was selling cattle, a young man in his early 20 s told me, Uncle, how dare you sell cattle on the road? You are really the one between Niu A and Niu C. I'm still wondering how to buy a cow and become a cow ABC.
(The assistant lowers his head and is silent for a moment) Then he looks up and says, I think you can go home and sell blood.
9527: Examiner, what you said is wrong. I sold blood in the city, not at home. I don't have that kind of equipment at home.
Assistant: Hey! (shaking his head)
Manager Gao: Now, how do you think you can persuade that girl to accept you?
9527: I think ...
Assistant: Stop, you are not allowed to talk. Squat aside with me (9527 pathetically walks to the podium).
20 12: I think there is something wrong with this question.
Assistant: Nonsense, no problem. Can you call it a problem?
007: I think this question is worth discussing. If you allow me, I'll call my tutor to ask.
Assistant Director Gao: You ...
Chief Gao: Why do you think this problem is so difficult?
9527,007,2012,: This is not a good question.
Assistant: 9527, who told you to get up? Go back and squat.
9527 squatted down in frustration and put his hands on his head.
Assistant: What's wrong with this question?
(9527 stands up and walks onto the stage again) 9527 says: Examiner, are you willing to betray yourself?
Assistant: Who told you to sell yourself?
9527 said: Isn't selling yourself equal to selling yourself? Examiner: Are you willing to betray yourself?
Chief Gao: Don't you look like a commodity now? Living in this highly competitive environment, there are too many people with educational background. More experienced, if you can't sell well yourself, do you think any company will accept you? The examiner just made an analogy. Actually, that girl is the job you are looking for. If you can't get that girl to accept you, it means you can't get the company you are looking for to accept you. In the end, you still have nothing. I hope you can understand. In fact, before you came to our company to apply, we had made a detailed investigation on you. We already know something about you, and our company just needs talents like you. 007: With a profound academic background, I can make great contributions to the company in persuading customers. Zhen has the right, is calm when things go wrong, and is good at using personal relationships to achieve sales goals. 9527, although you have a little knowledge, I believe that most bosses still like to do business with honest people, at least they will be honest. So we'll hire you three temporarily, with a probation period of two months. what do you think?
007: I'm sorry for the examiner. I think it's unfair. I believe my knowledge, so I hope the two examiners can give us another chance. We should persuade them to hire us.
Chief Gao: OK. What about Zhen's rights?
20 12: I never knew how to write "admit defeat" I agree with 007.
Chief Gao: Yes.
9527: My daughter-in-law told me when I went out that I should learn more from the city after I came out. I told you that I listened to my daughter-in-law, so I followed in the footsteps of college students in the first two cities.
Chief Gao: Then we will visit three more people at the same time tomorrow.
Fragile; be prone to injury
Doctor: Hello, this is Asura Boys and Girls Health Center. Yo, it's you. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Ah, here comes the big man. Don't worry, we will definitely let him play bad, good, horizontal, vertical, cold, warm, Li and Jet Li. Well, ok, don't worry.
Patient: Ouch. During the Spring Festival this year, I ate too much hot pot and my ass hurt. I think I'm angry. Alas, Asura boy and girl health center is so hungry that the legal representative is a god. It is reliable. Excuse me, is anyone there?
Doctor: Yo, there you are.
Patient: Who?
Doctor: Who else could it be? It's you, hehehehehe ...
Patient: What are you doing?
Doctor: Smile, you know. We want to give you the most intimate service.
Patient: It looks very disturbing.
Doctor: Very annoying. I can tell at a glance that you are ill.
Patient: You are sick!
Doctor: You are welcome to come here sick. Let me introduce you. We have many clinical departments here. Dermatology, cardiology, hand surgery, traditional Chinese medicine, breast, urology and gynecology are our specialties, including pet infertility, flowers and fruits ripening, cattle, sheep, mules and horses delivering babies, and aliens coming to earth. We are all one-stop service.
Patient: Fly, the sanitary conditions here are not very good. I'll get rid of him
Doctor: Relax.
Patient: What's the matter?
Doctor: That's our patient. He just had an amputation. He used to run, but now he can only fly.
Patient: physically disabled and determined.
Doctor: I wonder what's wrong with you?
Patient: My ass, my ass, alas, I'm telling you, I'm on fire and it hurts. Sorry to say that I already have hemorrhoids.
Doctor: You are not old enough to be ambitious. You are ambitious at a young age.
Patient: I have great ambitions.
Doctor: Yes, it grows on the ass. It's really promising Just a moment, please. I'll introduce our best experts to treat you right away.
Patient: Hurry up.
Surgeon: I was so flustered. Let me say hello first.
Patient: And you are?
Surgeon: I graduated from Pacific University with a doctor's degree in surgery. My name is laity number 20 13.
Patient: Amateur? Why does it sound so awkward? But I'm in pain. Can it be cured?
Surgeon: From the inside out, treat the symptoms first. You must see a doctor about this disease. Besides, you just came in from outside.
Patient: Yes.
Surgeon: If you are sick outside, you must see a surgeon.
Patient: What logic?
Doctor: Don't talk nonsense here. Don't listen to his nonsense Don't see an amateur surgeon. You must see our internal medicine expert.
Patient: Internal medicine, and you are?
Doctor: I am a physician who graduated from Inner Pacific University. Who am I?
Patient: Who is in it?
Doctor: Yes, that's me. You have to treat the symptoms first, and you have to take a part-time job as a specimen.
Patient: You must make a specimen of me.
Physician: Have you eaten casually recently?
Patient: Eat hot pot during the Spring Festival.
Physician: Oh, digestive system disorder.
Patient: Oh, really?
Physician: Let me make an endoscope for you first.
Patient, oh, oh, okay, okay.
Patient: Please be gentle.
Doctor: Don't worry, I've been examined for so many years.
Patient: Ah …
Physician: I've never heard anything that doesn't scream.
Patient: What do you see, doctor?
Physician: This is really a detour in your heart.
Patient: Really? Who has the guts? What did you see first?
Doctor: What's the matter?
Patient: Oh, my heart hurts, doctor, you have already opened it.
Doctor: Hey, what is this?
Patient: What's the matter?
Physician: Oh, my mouth is not very good. I have dental caries.
Patient: Ah, what's the matter?
Doctor: Why don't you let me pull it out for you?
Patient: No, no,no. Tooth extraction is also managed by internal medicine.
Physician: As long as it is your internal affairs, our internal medicine department is responsible for it.
Patient: Oh, big sister, aunt and grandmother, please pull it out quickly. If you poke it out again, you will see the window.
Doctor: The examination is complete.
Patient: Ouch, I just have a pain in my ass. So what? You won't run here without a license, will you?
Chinese medicine on stage ...
Traditional Chinese Medicine: It doesn't matter if you don't have a license. Just be optimistic about the disease! Noble person, you are good! Whether this is a person or a fairy, you have to see a doctor!
Patient: Well, who are you?
Chinese medicine: I am Zhong Yidao, a postdoctoral tutor of Chinese medicine in the Central Indian Ocean.
Patient: A knife? (horrified expression) Can you be optimistic about my illness?
TCM: Here, let me feel your pulse.
Patient: Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Then in the process of feeling the pulse ... (spanking)
Patient: You feel the pulse, you feel the pulse. Why are you filming me?
Chinese medicine: people are floating in rivers and lakes, and the old lady pays attention to four words: looking, smelling, asking and patting.
At this moment, the surgeon rushed over. ...
Surgery: shoot? Can it be your turn?
Physicians also chimed in. ...
Doctor: filming is our internal medicine business!
TCM: What's it to you?
Surgery and Chinese medicine looked at each other and said that it's none of your business. ...
At this time, the patient squatted on the ground and said, stop arguing. Who should I listen to?
Surgery: Don't listen to him (pointing to Chinese medicine)
Doctor: Stop arguing. I'll make you another endoscope. This time, do it gently so that you won't scream.
Patient: I'm afraid of pain
Surgery: Anyone who does his examination is like killing a pig.
Patient: Well, no, no, no.
Surgery: Listen to me. I'll start with the knife, and I'll make it clean across the board.
Patient: Oh, that's even more terrible. Come on, come on, come on.
Chinese medicine: I'll give you scraping, cupping and acupuncture. Get through to your governor's second pulse
The patient then asked: Is it reliable?
At this time, the surgeon said to Chinese medicine: Do you order people to die? Don't listen to them
The patient holds his head: no, no, no.
At this time, the doctors shouted: listen to me, listen to me. ...
But patient: Who do you listen to? Speak slowly. Who should I listen to? Oh, I can't afford to get sick! ! !
The camera switches to++music (music that can't afford to be hurt), and the nurse comes on stage. ...
Doctor: Hey, yo, it's you! Hey, hey, hey, hey ... huh? Isn't big coming? What about this guy? Oh ... (hangs up)
Patient: Hey, where is he? Where is the doctor? Where are you? Foreign doctor, foreign doctor ...
Surgery (playing mobile phone): I said that your illness is not my responsibility. You go to internal medicine!
Patient: Didn't you say that the root cause must be treated first?
Surgery: Yo yo, it's over (actually, I lost the game) ... (then telling the patient) Why are you so confused about the situation? This is an operation. If you stick a knife in your ass, that's my business. But you are in pain, so you must go to the internal medicine department.
The patient agrees: I am in pain.
The patient continued to shout: the doctor is inside, the doctor is inside.
Internal Medicine (Manicure): Is it polite? Make a hullabaloo about and call them by their first names.
After being told, the patient became polite: Hehe, dear physician, do you think I can cure this disease?
Doctor: Where does it hurt?
Patient: My ass hurts.
Doctor: Does it hurt on the left or the right?
Patient: It hurts in the middle.
The internal medicine department said impatiently, then go to Chinese medicine! ! !
The patient doesn't understand: huh? Chinese medicine? Oh ... Dr. Chung, Dr. Chung. ...
Traditional Chinese Medicine (with drooping beard): Alas, it is people or demons who are born and die.
Patient (afraid): I'm a demon again. ...
Chinese medicine (smoothing his beard): Zi once said, let nature take its course! You are sick, I can't cure you!
Patient (covering his ass): Then who can I treat this disease?
Chinese medicine: a guide to finding a doctor!
Patient: Doctor? (Then shouts) Miss, Miss, Miss. ...
Doctor: Who do you call Miss? Your family is full of ladies, so you have no quality. ...
Patient: Why do you say that changing face means changing face? Didn't you say smile service?
Doctor: I'm not the Mona Lisa. I won't smile at anyone. ...
Patient: What about my illness?
Doctor: You can cure this disease. ...
Patient: Oh, great, great. ...
Doctor: I'll give you some medicine. ...
Patient: OK, OK, OK.
Guide: Domestic or Imported?
Patient: What's the difference?
Doctor's guide: domestic goods are good, but imported goods are expensive.
Patient: Then take the expensive one.
Doctor: Well, you have a good eye. ...
Patient: OK, OK, OK.
Guide (taking medicine): This medicine has no toxic side effects. After use, it is very good, green and environmentally friendly.
Patient: Great.
Guide: once in the morning and once in the evening, remember?
Patient: Remember.
Then the doctor gave the medicine to the patient and the patient took the medicine. ...
Patient: Oh, I finally got the medicine (opening the medicine box). Yo, what else is in it? This imported medicine is expensive in packaging (finally taken out). What is this? (Looking at the words on the bottle): Drink more water? Also, water is the source of life, and drinking it can cure all diseases.
When the patient drank water, the music began again. Then, the patient spits out water. ...
Then say: unlicensed operation can't afford to hurt! Flattery can't hurt! Can't afford to get angry! (Drink more water, then spray ...)
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