Here we are at the door. Hey, when I touched my bag, I forgot my key. I feel so beautiful at the moment. I can only ask my roommate for help. I called anxiously four times, but no one answered. 10 minutes later, a WeChat message told me that I would not come back in half an hour.
At this moment, my mood is very lonely and I have an unspeakable taste. I wonder if anyone can feel it.
I hate a behavior: calling you over and over again, maybe you are busy again, so I psychologically convince myself that you are busy and it is not convenient to answer my phone at all. But please tell me the situation as soon as possible. Instead of letting the person on the other end of the phone wait anxiously and panic.
It suddenly occurred to me that once, as a primitive communication tool, the purpose of mobile phone was to bring us closer together and bring about the present situation. Inform each other in time to increase feelings. Now the functions are varied and too comprehensive. Computers have various entertainment functions. The call function is gradually deteriorating, and some things are just WeChat communication. We don't know each other's emotions through the screen, just accept a string of cold Chinese characters.
In the communication with WeChat about several undelivered calls, you told me that I am on the subway at the moment and can't go home for half an hour. Let me sit outside in the shop to kill time. But this is a residential area, and the shops outside are closed at this time. I can only wait in the dark corridor and turn on the light beam in my mobile phone, so that the night is not so dark and my heart is not so cold.
Time flies impatiently, which suits my mood very much. Helpless, lonely, in need of help, the warmth of a beam of light, a word of concern.
I stayed outside for nearly forty minutes. Darkness and silence filled the corridor, and my sense of loneliness became stronger and stronger. I am not a person who is afraid of loneliness on weekdays, but at the moment I really feel lonely from the inside out. Suddenly, the enthusiastic uncle in the next room opened the door and threw something, and accidentally saw me. After asking the reason, he warmly invited me in and said it was too cold outside. But I politely refused. After all, it is impolite and inappropriate to disturb others (old people) too late.
But the warmth of that moment made me burst into tears. Uncle's action hit the weakest point in his heart. It's because I've been wandering outside for too long in these nine years. In fact, the heart is very fragile. Even if I am as strong and enterprising as a man in my work, I will not give up and my tears will not flick. But at this moment, the pent-up emotions in her heart have developed into lacrimal glands, which can't stop flowing.
At this moment, my mood is also very complicated, thinking of all kinds of things in recent years.
I have been in Tianjin for nine years, including the years when I went to college in the suburbs. I've been thinking about it for a long time My feelings for this city have always been like this. Like more, the temperature of love is not enough. Because here, I always feel like a passerby and have no sense of belonging.
Because a person loves a city, and the person I love is not there, the city is empty, and my memory is not enough. What is left is loneliness and heartache.
In recent years, I have been subtly speaking Tianjin-flavored Mandarin, which is iconic. But I still don't have a relative here; Still a worker in Tianjin, no Tianjin hukou. I also tried to blend in here, fell in love with pancake fruit, and ignored buns, nuts and cross talk; At work, I also pay taxes seriously, making a little contribution to the development and civilization of this city. But it is still everything. Everything still feels a little different. Because I am a lonely person.
/kloc-when I was 0/8 years old, I couldn't wait to escape from my hometown with slow economic development and backward spiritual civilization. However, I did it. When I was admitted to the university, I even ran away. Thinking about traveling everywhere you have never been, seeing beautiful scenery and tasting delicious food, I always feel that wandering is the most meaningful and free and easy way of life. But when you're over 25 like me, you'll never think that again.
A piece of duckweed, where is home Home is a place with human feelings and warmth, and parents, brothers and sisters are there. It's where you feel sad and where your sister comforts you. It is a place where you have no money and your parents give it to you selflessly. When you are hungry, it is the place where food is provided for you no matter how late. At the same time, it is also the most complicated place where you are full of feelings for her. You hate her more when words hurt you. I can't wait to draw a line; When I love you, I make your blood boil and love you deeply. Forgiveness after hatred always comes so quickly, because you both love each other deeply.
Warm home, where you are haunted by dreams, where there are your infatuated homeland and intimate friends, as well as lovers you can't forget in your memory.
Recently, I began to doubt the reason why I stayed at the beginning, and now it brings me less substantive significance than I thought. I advertised myself as a winner like a clown, but I turned a blind eye. No audience enjoyed my poor performance. At the moment, that loneliness, that heartache, is a mountain, desolate and barren. ...
Being sensitive and thoughtful by nature is my own attribute and the truest self. I have been trying to let my positive and optimistic self overcome my previous self. As a result, I didn't fail too much, because I pretended well enough to reach the performance level of Oscar. I am a performer, I admit that the land you see is the best, because that's what I want you to see. ...
Sometimes in life, we will face all kinds of helpless situations. This kind of loneliness will arise spontaneously and our hearts will hurt.
If you are sick and critical, your body is very uncomfortable. Who can I talk to in Jindu? I really don't know. I work hard to exercise and strengthen my physique, and I don't want to get sick.
If one dare not walk in the dark, two people need to walk hand in hand. Who should I call? I can only turn on the flashlight and let the light on the road ahead reappear. I am not alone.
Who can help me up if the stone under my feet mischievously mixes with my feet? I can't promise, rub my legs, pat the dirt on my body and move on. ...
I've always been used to being independent and seldom disturb people around me. Bite your teeth, hold on, and fool away the hard days. Wear your own protective color to ensure your own safety.
I have grown a lot in these nine years in Tianjin. The human feelings are warm and cold, and the world is cold, which is deeply touched. When parents and relatives are not around, when they are wronged, when they can't live, and when they are helpless at work, this sense of loneliness is strong. Every lonely and cold night, it stings my heart and makes me feel distressed and suffocated.
I really want to go home, go back to my hometown and meet my parents. This time, I was really defeated by this loneliness, and I had an indescribable love. ...
Nine years later, I can't stand it, and I can't find a reason to stay. ...