Although the mother and the child in the video are physically in the same space, she has been working for the child, preparing dresses for the child, preparing meals and taking her to the party. But her heart is not there. Her heart is on the phone, on the computer. All this, children feel it.
Seeing herself performing poetry recitation, my mother didn't forget to pick up her mobile phone. She can't stand it any longer. She asked for a new poem, and what she said in her heart was this: Is mom at home? Mom is not at home, and mom is online. Mother is looking for something on the internet and wants to know what is happening in this world. Mom, listen to me. I know the answer. I am what is happening in this world!
After watching this video, I have to self-examine, because I often watch my mobile phone while taking care of my children. I thought: what keeps us from putting down our mobile phones? We keep saying that we love our children and feel that we can even die for them. However, why can't we let go of mobile phones?
Our generation grew up with the phrase "turn off the TV". It's old-fashioned to say "put the phone down" now. The sentence "put the phone down" may be what the child said to us or what we said to the child.
People's addiction to mobile phones is probably the same as their addiction to TV and games. I remember in an open class of psychology tutor, a parent asked: How to keep children from indulging in online games?
Pinch the net or smash the computer?
The answer given by experts is that he is addicted to the game because there is something he needs in it. You give him enough of these things in reality, and he will naturally stop looking in the game.
I can't help asking myself, I often bring my mobile phone. What am I looking for in it?
I brush my circle of friends and maintain social relationships. Because I know very well that good social interaction will have a positive effect not only on myself, but also on my children.
I visit Taobao and enjoy the convenience of shopping. Because I want to spend more time with my children and improve myself.
I study. I have many problems to solve. I want to find the answer in the book.
I went to Zhihu, visited the community, and looked for answers to the questions I had encountered or might encounter.
I think WeChat official account, writing is to write and comb himself. In order to express myself, I hope to meet like-minded partners and face various problems in life together.
Is there anything wrong with these? What's more, all the things I buy on Taobao are baby products, all the books I read are parenting books, all the communities I visit are mothers, and all the problems I discuss with others online are children's parenting problems. Just like the mother in the video, I have never left my children for a moment!
I can't figure it out!
This is another story I saw with my own eyes. A few days ago, the child was hospitalized with flu fever. In the same ward is a three-year-old boy with febrile convulsion. Young parents must be scared, too. Mother, in particular, has been worried that convulsions will affect her later brain development?
When my mother meets a person, she asks a person, me, the doctor and my visiting relatives. She also kept searching, asking and communicating about febrile convulsions on her mobile phone. She has always regretted not taking her child's temperature several times, taking antipyretics in advance and doing physical cooling. The child twitched because of my own fault.
In fact, even after being admitted to the hospital and having a transfusion, the child has been having a fever, and the high fever has not subsided. The child's father and grandmother kept fetching water, wiping the child's body and physically cooling down. But this mother has been holding her cell phone all afternoon.
As a bystander, I couldn't understand her at that time.
Do you say she doesn't care about children? She felt so guilty that her brow was full of worries. She didn't eat a mouthful of rice or drink a mouthful of water that day.
Do you think she cares about children? When the child needs her most, his eyes are fixed on the mobile phone.
Until one day I heard a broadcast about the refuge of life. Shelter here refers to an action that often appears, or a place that often goes. When you feel sad about something, you often go to a place, turn in, heal yourself, give yourself strength, and then come out. This place appears repeatedly.
What is your refuge in life? The author said that he received more than 1000 messages, among which10/person mentioned the toilet. Others also mentioned travel, movies, kitchens or cities.
After listening to this program, I suddenly feel that for many people, the first refuge in life may not be the toilet, but the mobile phone. Think about it, when you encounter something, or want to find someone, or want to solve a problem, or want to get rid of an emotion, your first reaction and first action may be to pick up your mobile phone.
I suddenly know why my mother in the hospital has been watching her mobile phone.
She felt guilty because she didn't take good care of the child, which led to her febrile convulsion. Guilt tormented her so much that she couldn't take care of the child with a fever. The mobile phone is her refuge. She has been discussing in the group, not really needing too much professional knowledge, but hoping someone can tell her: it's not your fault. Our children have experienced it. Everybody's fine.
So, when you pick up your mobile phone and brush your circle of friends, are you really maintaining social relationships, rather than avoiding the pressure of communicating with family and colleagues who seem to have nothing to say at hand?
When you pick up your mobile phone and wander around Taobao, do you really want to take time out to do more important things instead of avoiding the strange eyes of the salesman because you are short of money?
When you pick up your mobile phone to read, visit the community and see WeChat official account, are you really studying and solving problems, instead of avoiding the anxiety caused by various pressures?
Okay, even if I'm too arbitrary. You are really just studying. However, the child really spoke: I am what is happening in this world!
Big J and small D once gave her five suggestions for high-quality companionship summarized by an American child psychology professor:
At least once a day, without cell phone interference;
Giggle crazily with your child at least once a day;
Physical contact (hugs, kisses, etc. ) at least once a day;
Let go of the idea of "teaching" children at least once a day, but play with them;
Look your child in the eye at least once a day and say, I love you and I like being with you!
You see, companionship without mobile phone interference ranks first, so don't ask questions like "how to call high-quality companionship". Putting down your mobile phone is half the battle.