China's traditional culture, deeply influenced by the "ceremony" in Confucianism, is relatively subtle in expressing feelings, including love. So compared with modern times, it is loyal, reserved, not free, not involuntary, but indifferent and meaningful. Due to the limitation of ancient social class, most ancient love stories ended in tragedy; At the same time, the ancient marriage paid attention to parents' orders and matchmakers' words, so the love in ancient China had nothing to do with marriage. In love and marriage, women suffer both physical and mental pain. In the eyes of China people, love often cannot escape anxiety, sadness and melancholy. China's long-term imprisonment of women makes China's love poems always have a sad mood. After the Tang Dynasty, more love poems expressed longing and disappointment, nostalgia and thoughts after parting. In the Song Dynasty, with the deepening of neo-Confucianism, there were more and more taboos about love between men and women. At this time, women's foot-binding began to rise, and men and women were not close. Various chastity concepts in Zhu Cheng's Neo-Confucianism, such as "hunger is small, infidelity is big", embody "preserving righteousness destroys human nature", which has caused some distortions in people's psychology, dignity and freedom. It can be said that in feudal society, this is also a standard of abstinence.
The biggest difference between ancient and modern views of love lies in a process of attaching importance to results. Ancient love tragedies were generally caused by feudal system. The author expressed his feelings and criticized the social ruling class at that time, which was also a kind of resistance. Or a common comedy, "I wish people a long life and a thousand miles of good scenery." Therefore, marriage should be regarded as a carrier of love at that time. Without the facade of marriage, no matter how great love is, it will eventually be reviled. In addition to fame and future happiness, there is also the possibility of losing life. The ruler wisely formulated all kinds of torture to deal with women who fell in love without marriage barriers.