I thought nervously that he might have swallowed a whole bottle of pesticide. It's too late. After gastric lavage, the hospital in the town felt that the poison had spread, and there was nothing the doctor could do, so he could only suggest transferring to a better city hospital. Immediately, with the roar of the ambulance, he was sent to the intensive care unit (ICU) of the city hospital, where he has been rescued until today. However, the miracle did not appear on him, and he left irresistibly, so suddenly and decisively.
On the second night of his hospitalization, I still couldn't help doing something for him. I haven't seen him since ICU refused to let me in. That night, I waited anxiously in the chair outside the ward until dawn, and there was no other news. Only occasionally do nurses come out and ask me to go to the pharmacy on the first floor to get the medicine. Every time you finish eating, you should sign your name behind the person who gets the medicine in the form. I checked the effects of those drugs, without exception, they were sedatives and the like.
Today, after beating for 25 years, his heart can no longer move. I just got home from the vegetable field when I learned the news. All this actually happened around me. I still can't believe he really left like this.
His hands are especially dexterous since he was a child. He can easily make various shapes out of mud, and even make a tumbler out of eggshells. Now he has fallen, which makes me sad. When I was a child, every time after the heavy snow, he would invite me to play and make many beautiful snow bells that didn't like to break. From then on, he seldom spoke, kept silent and kept a straight face. I learned later that he was so sensitive.
When I was in junior high school, we all got up early and it was dark. On the way to school, we usually walk together. He will collect small bulbs that can still be lit by old flashlights and then connect them to discarded mobile phone batteries. The light bulb will magically light up. That beam of light is much brighter than an ordinary flashlight, and I still remember it vividly. At that time, I was impressed by his super hands-on ability. At that time, we seemed to talk about everything, but we never talked about our lives, as if we had become some kind of tacit understanding.
Later in the school cafeteria, I went in with my classmates and happened to meet him. He even gave me a bubble gum. If I remember correctly, it should be the Sperling brand with 20 cents each. At that time, we all seemed carefree except that we had little money to spend.
There is less contact after high school, so we can meet and chat with each other during the Chinese New Year. I jokingly asked him on the button, why do I feel that we are absent-minded and worried when chatting now? After a few days, he slowly replied to me: maybe the life we experienced began to be different …
Slowly, I began to understand why he was so sensitive and taciturn. He is indeed adopted, and his biological father and mother are close at hand. They all belong to the same village, so they don't look up. I don't know what kind of hesitation and helplessness he experienced after learning about it. His young mind must have experienced great ups and downs.
Just a few days before the accident, adoptive parents and biological parents tried their best to curse because of some trivial things. The onlookers talked about it one after another, cursing that the scene was really full of firepower and doing everything they could to insult and humiliate each other. When the adoptive father came home, he remembered all kinds of harsh words in the other person's speech. He must have been angry for a while, so he shouted all his anger at him and told him to pack up and go back to his home. Anyway, your biological father said that there is not a day when we don't abuse you. ...
However, where can he go? At this moment, he has just experienced a cheated marriage and failed business, and has fallen into despair. Now, even the place where he lived for more than 20 years has ruthlessly expelled him, and in this way, he left alive.
He just didn't know that when he chose to end his life in such an extreme way, more criticism, morbid curiosity and investigation had been entangled in the place where he lived and around his name for a long time.
When you were admitted to ICU, too many people came to inquire about you, and some regrets and sighs followed. I replied that there was no comment. That's true. I just found out that I know very little about you. Since graduating from high school, we have all gone our separate ways. I've only heard about your experience, so I can't ask you directly. You may think that our silence is a kind of contempt and criticism for you. Therefore, under the sensitivity of knowing little about each other, we simply kept silent.
When I learned that you had left, I really couldn't bear to go to the funeral home to see you off for the last time. My impression of you is still in the Spring Festival. You handed me a cup of tea smartly. You are a stubborn child, and you have experienced hardships and misfortunes beyond our imagination, especially that kind of suffering and self-pursuit. Finally, you chose this way to exile yourself. Although I am very opposed to this extreme, I can still understand your entanglement and pain. I also had the idea of leaving this damn world in this way, but I was so worried that I gave up after all.
No one is qualified to judge your right or wrong. What makes me sad is that I really lost you forever.
Brother, have a good trip. I hope there is not too much deception and not so disheartening in the other world.