Getting along with others, treating each other with sincerity and courtesy is a person's most basic education, but only sincerity can't guarantee a long-term development of a relationship.
In many people's minds, intimacy is their understanding of a good relationship, but the really comfortable relationship is actually four words: familiarity is not excessive.
All contradictions and conflicts are caused by more than one degree. Only when we have a good sense of proportion and keep a proper distance between the two sides can the relationship be more stable and harmonious.
Distance produces beauty. Only when you know how to advance and retreat and keep a sense of proportion can you feel the beauty of communication to the greatest extent!
1
between parents and children, loving without arranging
letting go ≠ stocking, letting go is a greater fulfillment.
Children have their own way to go, and the best love parents can give their children is to let go of their hands.
For children, when they are young, their parents are crutches, which will make them walk more steadily. However, when children grow up, they still take care of everything in every detail, which will only become the bondage of children and a stumbling block in the way.
Have a moderate relationship, let go boldly, and let the children feel the ups and downs of life by themselves.
In The Tale of Teenagers, Hao Ruihan, a senior two student, started to complain that she was a person with high business skills and low abilities, because her parents and grandparents really spoiled her.
when she was a child, her parents gave her a spoon because she couldn't use chopsticks, so she still doesn't know how to use chopsticks.
at home, she is not allowed to do anything, even if she plugs in a power supply, she is worried that she will get an electric shock if she is not careful.
"When I saw that my classmates would choose all kinds of clothes by themselves, and I didn't even know what the clothes model was;
When I see that my classmates can braid their own styles, but I can only braid my ponytail;
when I see that my classmates will make up their minds about their own affairs, and I want you to make decisions on even trivial matters. "
Finally, Hao Ruihan gave an inner cry: "I don't want to be a so-called learning machine, I don't want to be a high-quotient, low-energy, and I don't want to be a nerd."
"Giant baby" has become the biggest hidden danger in children's life.
As parents, caring and worrying are human nature, which everyone can't avoid, but excellent parents are somewhat cruel.
It is cruel to let children go their own way and push them out of the greenhouse ... It is these cruelties that outsiders see that make their children have the ability to fly higher and farther.
Parents and children are the closest relationship in the world, but this closeness is the distance from heart to heart, not the distance from body to body.
independence is everyone's lifelong practice.
It's better to teach them fish than to teach them fish. The greatest help parents can give their children is not to do everything.
2
Leave room between lovers
If you love again, you will lose in distance.
if you are far away, there will be a gap; if you are near, there will be constant friction. Knowing enough is enough between each other, leaving their own independent space and caring about each other not far away is the real happiness.
There is a saying: "Life is just like seeing it for the first time", and the beauty of seeing it at first sight is because of the distance between being far away and being near.
the best love is not to change yourself to be close to each other, but to be independent and snuggle up to each other.
Rene Liu has always been a legend in Chinese music, and her low-key and happy marriage is also the envy of everyone.
In her book "I Dare to Be Alone in Your Arms", she tells the mode of getting along with her husband.
When they first got married, Rene Liu was worried that her husband would be unhappy because she had so many hobbies.
But when her husband found out later, he replied, "I love you because you are so colorful. If I marry you and come back, you will give up your hobby and start cleaning the house and cooking for me. Isn't that a loss?"
They always go out together, but they can go to different cinemas to see their favorite movies.
They have their own independent space at home, do their own things, respect each other, leave each other alone and enjoy themselves;
In some special festivals, Rene Liu will also choose to get together with friends instead of spending it with her husband!
Everyone yearns for a happy life, besides loving partners, they also want to have their own independent space.
In this space, everyone can be himself, buffer the too intimate relationship and leave some breathing room for the explosive contradictions between them.
Setting aside distance does not alienate partners. The closeness between partners is the closeness of hearts, and the distance left is the product of mutual trust.
lovers who "love each other and kill each other" are both hedgehogs. If they get too close, they will stab each other, but if they keep a proper distance, it is really warm to snuggle up to each other like that.
3
Between friends, you know how to avoid suspicion.
See your character for details.
Many people will show their careless nature when they are familiar with it. This kind of informality you are doing may have hurt your friends, but you don't know it.
The closer you are to a friend, the more you need to maintain it. Many times, the dissipation of a relationship comes from details that you don't care about.
As the saying goes in The Analects of Confucius: "Those who see zicui will change. Those who see the crown and those who see it will look like it. "
The more familiar you are, the less careless you will be. This is the best way to maintain a friendship.
There are not many true friendships in the entertainment circle, but every true friendship is really envied from the bottom of my heart.
This is the true friendship between Chen Kun and Zhou Xun.
In p>2, the TV series "Like Fog, Like Rain and Like Wind" was filmed. They got to know each other because of the drama, and in real life, they became friends for more than 2 years.
In the past twenty years, they not only helped each other at work, but also became neighbors upstairs and downstairs.
Zhou Xun's attitude towards every experience in love is that Chen Kun never interferes too much.
But he said something very warm,
"You fell into the pit, you have to face it yourself. I am when you need me. "
Life is measured, and actions are measured. Even close relationships have no right to determine other people's lives.
a good friend is the one who silently blesses you like an audience when you are in the scenery, but holds the bottom for you when you fall to the bottom.
With him around, you will never feel lonely, because you know he doesn't appear often, but he won't leave you.
Keep your distance, and you are always worried. The so-called "friendship between gentlemen is as light as water" is just like this.
not crossing the line and being measured are the long-term basis of every relationship.
it is duty, wisdom, discretion, respect and trust not to cross the line.
As an old saying in China, "If everything goes too far, it will hurt", especially when people communicate with each other.
Some words can only be stopped, and some actions should be stopped, which adapts to the "distance" of interpersonal communication and fundamentally avoids many contradictions, so that the two sides can continue to get along peacefully.
don't get too close, and don't get too far away. Only with distance can you have feelings.
for the rest of my life, I hope that we can all be principled in major matters, measured in minor matters, have a bottom line in everything, and be familiar with it without overstepping the bounds.