Jokes to coax your girlfriend to sleep are as follows:
1. An illiterate girl went to the doctor for dizziness on the second day after her wedding. The doctor asked: What did you eat yesterday? Answer: I took eight pills of birth control pills. The doctor asked: Why don’t you take the medicine according to the instructions? Answer: Just take the medicine according to the instructions. It says one tablet at a time! The doctor immediately fell to the ground.
2. The dean said to a mentally ill patient: This time you saved a man who fell into the water and performed well. Unfortunately, he hanged himself again. The mental patient said proudly: I hung him up to dry.
3. The psychiatrist asked the patient: "Did you hear some sounds, but you didn't know who was speaking or where the sounds came from?" "Yes." "When was that? Did this happen? " "When I answered the phone. " 4. Dr. Li of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology has been practicing medicine for many years and has helped many infertile families have children. Recently he received a plaque to express his gratitude, with four big golden characters engraved on it - out of nothing.
5. I wonder if you have noticed the doctor’s handwriting when you happened to be sick and went to the hospital for treatment. Generally speaking, there are dragons and phoenixes dancing, which makes people confused and confused. So I admire the nurses at the medicine office, they can always identify what medicine should be taken. Once, a doctor friend of mine wrote me a letter and invited me to have dinner. I could recognize part of the words on the letter, but I couldn't recognize the key time and place. I ran to the pharmacy of a nearby hospital, handed the letter to the nurse, and asked her to read it for me. She looked at it carefully for a long time, gave me two bottles of medicine, and said, "This, twice a day!"< /p>
6. One day, the ophthalmologist and the internist got into an argument. The ophthalmologist said: "Be careful, I will make you blind." The physician said: "Be careful, I will make you a wolf-hearted person."
7. Someone was bitten by a dog and rushed to the hospital for medicine. The doctor is getting ready to get off work: Look what time it is, don’t you know when you should come to work? The man said: I know, but the dog doesn’t understand!
8. In front of the cloth counter, the clerk patiently tore the cloth into small strips according to the customer's requirements, and then the customer asked the clerk to tie the strips into knots. The clerk finally couldn't bear it anymore. She said: "Is it difficult for you to have mental illness?" "Yes, I have a hospital certificate."
9. A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you ever had a premarital checkup?" "I have checked, and his house and car are all intact." "I mean go to the hospital." The young woman blushed and replied in a low voice: "checked, it's a boy."
10. Under the shade of the trees in the hospital, a pair of lovers were hugging and kissing. A doctor saw this and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. To perform artificial respiration, you should lay her flat on the ground. Go away and let me do it."
11. In middle school, A buddy took me to a bookstall and asked the boss arrogantly: "Is there Liu Bei?" I was wondering when the boss pulled out two pornographic books from the corner and handed them over. On the way back, I asked: "Why is the Yellow Book called 'Liu Bei'?" He whispered to me: "Uncle Huang."
12. The classmates went on a trip and climbed to the top of the mountain. One girl stood on the top of the mountain very excitedly and shouted: Motherland, my mother! Then a boy who had a crush on this girl shouted excitedly: Motherland, my mother-in-law.
13. In the supermarket, I saw a large, tied crab crawling from the 18.9 yuan freezer to the 28.9 yuan cabinet. I burst into tears, you are so damn motivated!
14. Confucius, Mozi, and Laozi met the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor was taking a bath with the Queen Mother. Confucius and Mozi peeked under the window and were discovered by the Jade Emperor. The Jade Emperor sighed with emotion: "It's better for me, an honest man!" Confucius and Mozi replied: "No, I'm not short! He went to move bricks."
15. Somali Pirates: "Three million dollars a price!" Chinese official: "Two and a half million! Pirate: Do you think I'm stupid? I know you said two hundred and fifty is an insult!" Chinese official: "Three million is three million! But The invoice is for seven million!" The pirate said with tears in his eyes, "You are still ruthless in stealing money!" 16. There is a long-term drought in a certain place. A farmer asked the fortune teller: When will it rain? The fortune teller handed him a folded piece of paper and said, "This is a secret from heaven and cannot be leaked. You can only take it out to read on a rainy day, otherwise you will be struck by lightning if you reveal the secret." After three days, it finally rained, and the farmer Remembering what the fortune teller said, he took out the note and read, "It will rain today." The farmer was shocked and said, "What a man of God!"
17. When you are in high school, you can envy you as long as you pass college. In college, you can envy you if you fail high school.
18. After watching the black 100-meter race, an old lady wiped away tears and said: It’s scary! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot. They fired without aiming. The children were so frightened that they ran away, and even the ropes couldn't stop them!
19. He is a deputy department inspector and is related to the national leader. When he went to the West for an inspection visit, he only took three followers with him. He never used police cars to clear the way, nor did he use public funds to eat or drink. Sometimes he even had to Go begging for food... He has been inspecting the West for many years, met many foreign heads of state, and achieved great results. After returning to China, he did not ask for promotion. He taught and did good deeds all his life, and did not have any property after his death. He is Tang Seng.
20. Why are cross-bridge rice noodles more expensive than ordinary rice noodles? Because it includes tolls.
References: /link?url=UWn94K698_GRuQX0W-jKRONJ3hRGdU7e7_wBbbV4WNzuvnKlDgTwEAUamfp2A5I2U_6PvtlERx3G4vJpCMOal4l5aBTYIc0FDd1mQWbmBoa