However, human beings are essentially social animals, because each of us has social needs without exception, except to show our individuality, because everyone is a member of society. The rapid development of modern society requires people to cooperate with each other in their work and help each other in their lives.
This is about the interaction between people: the application of communication methods.
Communication is like a huge umbrella, which covers and affects everything that happens in human society and plays a great role in cooperation and communication. Whether the communication is smooth or not tests our understanding and skills of communication.
65438+February 65438+February, China Agricultural Bank Shenzhen Overseas Chinese Town Sub-branch invited Shenzhen Kang Hua Boai Psychological Research Institute to carry out sand room experience activities with interpersonal communication as the theme for employees. This activity was hosted by Kang Hua psychology teacher Fan Li.
Today, Mr. Fan Li will introduce you to the famous communication mode: Satya communication mode. Satya communication model is a theoretical system founded by Virginia Satya, the first American family therapist.
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Satya's communication mode includes five different communication modes, also known as joint family therapy. Family therapy is a new psychotherapy method. As the name implies, it is not only aimed at families, but also widely used in social systems. It can deal with the problem of personal commitment more comprehensively.
The biggest feature of psychotherapy founded by Satya is to pay attention to improving personal self-esteem, improving communication and helping people live a more "humanized" life, rather than just seeking to eliminate "symptoms". The ultimate goal is to achieve "unity of body and mind, internal and external consistency."
The above picture is the general diagram of Satya communication model. The following five communication modes are all developed from the three parts of this diagram.
please type
Flatterers fully respect others and situations in communication, but don't care about each other's real feelings. Politeness often appears as a pleasant face, so it is highly accepted in most cultures and families.
However, pleasing others is very different from trying to please others with the consistency of appearance and appearance. It denies our self-esteem at the expense of self-worth and sends us unimportant information.
Accusative type
Type A accusers often ignore others, are used to attacking and criticizing, and put the blame on others. "It's all your fault", "What's wrong with you", "I'm absolutely right" and "If you were here" are all their colloquial words.
In the inner experience, accusatory people usually fail alone, but they prefer to be isolated from others and maintain authority. This kind of person accounts for about 30%.
Interestingly, critics usually find a pleasant partner. On the contrary, flatterers tend to choose accusers as companions.
Superrational type
Avoid personal or emotional topics. They told themselves: "People must be rational", "People who must remain calm and super-rational at all costs account for 15% of the crowd. They are extremely objective, only concerned about whether things are in line with the regulations and correct, always calm and never panic, "everything should be based on science" and "people should be logical".
They are always objective, quote rules and abstract ideas, use lengthy explanations and complicated terms, avoid personal or emotional topics, and rarely involve people-related feelings.
Such people are superior on the surface and act rationally. In fact, they are very sensitive inside and have a sense of emptiness and alienation. They escape from any feeling of reality, and they also escape from the troubles and pains caused by stress.
Interrupt type
Interrupters account for a small part of the crowd, only 0.5%. Interrupters often change the subject to divert their attention. They can't concentrate on one thing, and the conversation will never get to the point. They are used to interrupting and interfering instead of directly answering questions or completely irrelevant questions.
They will avoid personal or emotional topics, tell jokes, interrupt the topic, express their opinions and so on. So as to distract the attention of others from their interaction, and at the same time reduce their concern about stress and keep the stress factor at a distance from themselves.
But in fact, they are anxious, sad, confused, have no sense of belonging, are not taken care of and are often misunderstood.
Exterior-interior consistent type
This type is the target type advocated by Satya, accounting for 4.5% of the population. Based on a high sense of self-worth, this model realizes the harmonious interaction among self, others and situations. Such people attach importance to themselves, others, situations, strong self-esteem and inner harmony.
Their language is full of feelings and thoughts, and they can express their expectations, wishes and disgust. They are willing to listen to others and share with others. While respecting ourselves and others, we can also care for the environment. In this mode, people's speech shows a kind of inner consciousness, expression is consistent with speech, inner harmony and balance, and self-worth is higher.
Comparison of five postures
Generally speaking, our communication mode comes from our own family. What kind of communication methods do we use in our own family of origin? When we go to work or start a new family, we will get along with people in the same way.
Each communication method has its advantages. For example, people who accuse gestures are confident. People who please gestures are kind; Superrational people are rational; People who interrupt others are very flexible.
But at the same time, they also have their own shortcomings. Only by understanding the types of communication methods can we better understand others and ourselves; At the same time, only by knowing what is wrong with your communication style can you make changes.
Through Mr. Li's introduction of Saizeriya model and the experience of live sand table games, the audience expressed their great benefits, and after the experience, they expressed their interest and knowledge in this activity.
Photo: Kang Hua Aibo Institute of Psychology.
Kang Hua Institute of Applied Psychology.