Take care of a dying elder in the family
Since ancient times, "supporting the elderly and dying" has been the unshirkable responsibility of the younger generation to the elders. When the elder is in critical condition, the family members of children and grandchildren must guard the bedside day and night. If the child works in other places, it must be recalled (such as sending someone to inform, writing a letter, making a phone call, sending a telegram, etc.) ).
After hearing the news, children must rush back to serve the elderly as soon as possible. Even if you are far away in a foreign country and on the other side of the ocean, you should go home as much as possible to die for the elderly, so that you can be filial to your children. If the critically ill elderly are women (such as mothers and daughters-in-law), they should also inform their parents in time, otherwise they will be complained and even have disputes.
Banpu
Also known as moving the store, leaving the hall and entering the hall. The ancient custom in China paid great attention to the place where a person died, that is, the so-called "death in the right room" and "natural death". Since ancient times, Fujian has also attached great importance to "death". When dying, the patient should be moved from the dormitory to the main hall in time, which is called "moving to the main hall after illness".
The Hall of Heroes, a folk belief, is the most sacred place in the house, which is "immortal" for longevity. Only after death can we reunite with our ancestors and relatives in the underworld. If Shou finally leaves the wing, the soul of the deceased will stay on the bedstead of the dormitory, and it is not easy to cross over. Therefore, in the folk (especially in rural areas), when the elderly are critically ill, as long as they have a clear head, they often ask themselves to go to the mourning hall. If Shou finally finds himself in the bedroom, his descendants will also be suspected of poor care and will attract criticism.
Declare sb. dead
Funeral service is also called obituary, obituary, death, death, etc. And the words "death" and "death" are taboo in southern Fujian, also called "rushing to life". The purpose of funeral service is to inform relatives and friends to attend the funeral, and at the same time, to inform people who have conflicts with the deceased (such as pregnant women) not to approach. The custom of mourning has been inherited from generation to generation, forming certain rules, which are highly valued by the people.
Mix
Wrapped in clothes is called a small funeral. Relatives should bathe the dead before the bones are cold. Since ancient times, begging for water has been popular in many places in Fujian. Begging for water is also called "begging for water" and "buying water", that is, begging the water god for a bath. When begging for water, filial piety is in front, one is holding a bowl with a piece of white cloth inside and the other is holding a banner. Later, the filial daughter went to the river or the well to ask for water to drink.
When begging for water, you must kneel down. Copper coins (coins used now) put into water are generally 12 pieces, which are wrapped with red silk thread. When drawing water, I read aloud: "Water God (or Land God) buys water from you." When the water was invited home, the other dutiful sons stood in front of the door to meet the water and entered the house as soon as possible. They poured water into a new porcelain basin and dipped it in a white cloth. When the father dies, the son bathes the body, and when the mother dies, the daughter or daughter-in-law washes it, usually just a few symbolic scrubs.
Chi said, "brush your body three times and four times." Bath lotion should not be thrown on the floor casually. It is believed that when a living person steps on a body bath, his feet will crack. In some places in Puxian, five kinds of water (soup made of five herbs) are specially boiled to purify the dead. It is convenient for the dead to bathe in the promised land in the west.
Watch by the coffin
After washing the corpse and changing clothes, a mourning hall is set up, commonly known as guarding the shop, and the corpse is filial day and night to show filial piety. Wisdom said, "Since you are dead, you should set up a spiritual position. Please ask the gentry with taste to write a title, which is called Shu Ming. The lamp beside the spirit body is burning, shining day and night, called a ghost lamp. The dutiful son wakes up day and night and eats at three. "
Cry at a funeral
When a loved one dies, mourning is expressed by crying. This is called mourning. Mourning is usually crying to tell the merits and feelings of the deceased before his death. In some places, there is a certain tone and content when mourning, and the rhythm is low. At the end of a sentence, there are often long rhythms and decorative sounds. Many women, especially rural women over 40 and 50, can freely write lyrics, sing freely, mourn, tell their life experiences or vent their inner anger according to this model.