At this time, mom and dad will call us "grandpa", "aunt", "uncle" and even some relatives who don't know at all.
Actually, this is the courtesy of China people. No matter how deep the friendship is, you always have to shout.
If children don't shout, they will still be urged to shout by their parents.
In addition, there is an interesting Chinese politeness phenomenon. As long as you go to a relative's house, your parents will definitely ask you: This is your cousin. Did you shout?
Of course, China people's manners are far more than that. Children can sing a song, dance or recite a poem, even if they don't want to.
Xiao Tao follows her parents to visit relatives every year, but she is very resistant, because every time she goes to relatives' house, her parents will ask her to do something she doesn't want to do.
On one occasion, Xiao Tao followed her parents to visit her grandmother, and her uncles and aunts were there. Mother asked Xiao Tao to write calligraphy in public, because her mother always said Xiao Tao's calligraphy was good in the family group.
My uncle took out grandpa's Four Treasures of the Study, but Xiao Tao said he didn't write well.
At this time, my mother began to scold Xiao Tao for being impolite, so Xiao Tao had to write four characters: "Fu Shou Kang An".
My uncles all think Xiao Tao's writing is good, and Xiao Tao himself thinks it's ok. But at this time, my mother said: this is not good, and it is far from my grandfather's level. At most, it's three-legged cat kung fu.
Xiao Tao's mother is simply a polite "spokesperson" of China people. She not only urges her children to make a hullabaloo about, but also uses them as a tool to show off. When the child really raises his hand, he will soon show self-righteous modesty.
On the surface, it is polite, but such behavior will bring great harm to children.
In the long run, it will have a great impact on children. 1) Children have no personality.
Children are always led by their parents, so people should shout and show their talents.
For the sake of "politeness" in the parents' mouth, the child's temper and edges and corners have gradually smoothed out. A child who has no temper has become a nice guy in everyone's mouth, accommodating other people's ideas. Such a child looks polite, but in fact he has no personality.
2) Children become inferior.
Take Xiao Tao's writing style as an example, it was good, but Xiao Tao's mother insisted on "modesty" and wrote poorly, which seriously cast a shadow on Xiao Tao's heart.
The most obvious feature of China people's politeness is that parents don't respect their children, don't want to praise them publicly, and just belittle them blindly.
3) Children can't tell what real manners are.
There is obviously a big gap in interpersonal communication between adults and children, but parents still use China's etiquette to educate their children, and children still can't tell what real etiquette is when they grow up.
In fact, Xiao Tao is still an excellent little girl, and her calligraphy level is good since she was a child.
But Xiao Tao's mother has always been stingy with praise. When chatting with other parents, other parents envy Xiao Tao for his talent. Xiao Tao's mother insisted on modesty and magnified some shortcomings of Xiao Tao.
This has brought great harm to Xiao Tao, and parents must avoid the practice of Xiao Tao's mother. Tell children what real manners are.
Don't be polite to others and hurt your children.
What kind of occasions to do what kind of things, want to teach children manners correctly, tell them what etiquette is, you might as well learn Disciples Rules.
In addition, "Disciple Rules" seems to be included in the classic reading guide for primary schools. Parents may wish to pay more attention to it and give their children a test when they are free.
2) Not in the state
Teaching children to be polite can't be just for their own face, highlighting their own teaching children well.
Otherwise, it will lead to the opposite result, for example, some parents are "too modest". If you are an unfamiliar parent, you will think that this person is showing off.
After all, being too modest is conceited.
3) Parents demonstrate correctly
What is politeness? It is polite not to fight in public, not to talk loudly in quiet places, and not to spit everywhere. These words are useless and need to be demonstrated by parents themselves.
These Chinese etiquette in reality can not only leave a good impression on others, but also bring harm to children. So parents should get rid of these formalism as soon as possible.