He sat in the car and stopped on the road. There were cars all around, but he felt that he was still moving forward and didn't stop. An hour ago, many, many roses spilled all over the floor. Like the wind blowing a petal, his love lost its direction. Lovers are always hurt, and he never doubts that. With this understanding, he can't hear the sound of roses falling to the ground, and he doesn't feel hurt. Just like this moment, if the car is not banned, even if the sound is amplified ten times, it has nothing to do with him.
Maybe from birth, he confused the difference between silence and sound, so walking and stopping are the same. If he is a person who is often confused, there are times when he is awake. This moment is the moment when he stepped out of the elevator. At that moment, he thought he had entered the world of death and saw death clearly. ...
Elevators often come in and out, and death is common. So the rose can fall to the ground at will, and she can go in and out of his world at will.
She didn't see the scene where the roses were spilled on the ground, because it happened after she turned around. Turning around, she came to this alley where everything was gray. This ash includes walls, clouds in the sky, the ground, and clothes worn by people who just walked by. The unification of colors makes all the pressure disappear, so she doesn't have to know how to walk, only knows that she is walking. Then she can clearly recall Chen Chu standing in front of her with roses. She only said that roses are beautiful, but they have nothing to do with love, because they are found all over the world and have no special significance.
Chen Chu looked at her without any expression, and couldn't see what he wanted to say, but she could feel how he restrained himself. I can even hear his heartbeat, because his thoughts are not understood. She won't tell him what she really thinks. Everything is clear. Even without roses, she knew what he needed and what he was waiting for.
The alley finally came to an end, where there was a low house. The clearing in front of the house is overgrown with weeds. There is nothing else about the grass in winter. If someone hoes the ground, it will be a very clean clearing. When nobody cares, the grass turns from green to yellow, that's all. This is good, she thought.
The door was ajar and she came in.
In winter, the sun can't see shapes. In the afternoon, the faint light passed through the window and bypassed the half-opened door. She could see books all over the floor, lying in a mess and silently. She squatted down, picked them up one by one and piled them together. A page fell from the book and was recognized by the faint light. She smiled, but that was a sneer. She clearly heard her sneer.
Someone walked into the yard. It's three demolition workers. When they saw her in the house, they said, "I've been looking for you for days." If you don't come again, everything here will be pushed down to ruins. "
"It's not a ruin. Aren't you going to rebuild it?"
The three men looked at each other. "Yes, yes, this is not a ruin. There will be a tall building here. "
The workers' footsteps left no trace on the weeds in front of the door, and they still stood straight like that. She stopped sorting out those books, which were stained with a lot of dust and had no desire to save, so there was no need to save them. If there were no demolition here, she wouldn't have walked in. Although she has seen the house from a distance many times this year, she never thought of going in. This distant distance, the farthest, comes from the other end of the alley. Although I can't see it, I seem to see everything. However, what she saw was that she was arguing with a man for a book. She pretended to ignore him angrily. He pretended to admit his mistake seriously and wrote her a critical letter. She often laughed happily after reading it.
Now, most of the self-criticism books in memory have been written by blowing in the wind, leaving only a simple shape-the shape of a piece of paper, floating down from the dusty book, falling to the ground, gradually disappearing into her eyes and entering the ruins.
Ruins, this is the moment. She would rather it was an eternal ruin, reminding her of the cruelty of yesterday and the weakness of her oath. Ruins are the proof of death. With them, she can safely stay away from yesterday. However, there will be a building here. If one day she comes here, there may be a familiar feeling, and there will be a dazzling light reflecting her former shadow. Will this ruin reappear at that time? If it can be reproduced, how cruel it would be, it is better to stay in the ruins. It is out of the question. It's going to be demolished here Finally, she decided not to take anything ... just like the person who left at the beginning, he just wanted to send new roses to new people, and now she just wants to forget. Not only forget him, but also forget everything, including the ulterior motives of the people who sent roses.
She knows that deliberately sending roses to hell is unfair to men other than that man, but she pities the grass all over the ground. But who will be fair to those who want to stay away? What you see at first sight is always beautiful, but in the end, it has to be beautiful. So without thinking much, she turned down all the people who told him about roses. Therefore, she naturally didn't see the scene of the rose falling. She only remembers the expression of Chen Chu holding a rose in his hand. Remember not because of love, but because it is a common problem of all men. I can't forget my expression if I want to. This expression won't last, and it will change in a few months or even days. She absolutely believes this.
Indeed, Chen Chu, who often thinks of death when entering and leaving the elevator, will not change because of her indifference. This is not the first time that a similar scene has happened. After each time, Chen Chu still smiled and walked up and down in front of her because of the budget report, and told her that he would go back early to cook for the children. Hearing this, she knew she was laughing badly, but the smile was silent. She is considering whether to give Chen Chu a difficult problem, so that he can send himself roses in front of his wife and children, and then she will tell him that she accepts his heart because of his courage and sincerity. But she was afraid that she would lose control and threw the flowers in Chen Chu's face on the spot. What love can an irresponsible man talk about?
Chen Chu didn't put his love for her before his wife and children, but she still had a little sense of responsibility. She can't tear away his only hypocritical sense of responsibility, so she can only bypass his words, don't take his words, don't touch the language he wants most, and even say encouraging words from time to time at work for fear of hurting him.
She knew that Chen Chu didn't want a divorce, or that he didn't want a divorce until he wanted her. No one will like her. In that room full of books, people can leave easily and give others a chance to choose easily. Because of this, there is no difference between all the men in her place, and love can't last long. She didn't deny that Chen Chu had touched her, but she didn't give him any chance to move forward. She knows that Chen Chu is sincere and rare, but on the other hand, she despises this feeling.
Chen Chu has his own unique charm. He has unconventional ideas and unexpected courage. No matter in his career or his attitude towards love, she admits that he is special. He can abandon everything in front of him for freedom, and will not put a stable job in his eyes, so she admits that his love is sincere. Does she love him? Every time I ask this question, she will look up with a smile, think for a while, and finally bow her head with a smile without answering. Only a few times, she almost said what he wanted to say to him, but just because Chen Chu was special, she was afraid that her words would ruin everything he had. Moreover, she is even less likely to bear the guilt of his abandonment of his wife and children. So at the critical moment, she said irrelevant words. If she said too much, the truth became a joke, and she couldn't tell which one was serious. She couldn't tell, and Chen Chu wouldn't understand. Understandably, Chen Chu is used to the repetition of this plot, just as he stands in front of her with a rose. She pretended not to know that Chen Chu could bear it, and she believed that a person who had the courage to pursue it also had the courage to give up.
At this time, Chu Chen, who escaped from the Chehe River, was sitting in the office on the twentieth floor of the building, with a panoramic view of the outside world in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. He thought about jumping from here, abandoning everything and moving away from home, just to get rid of this boring world. You don't have to nod to others when you leave, so be careful. Don't want to look at other people's glances, he needs complete freedom, wandering in the wind, endless, maybe just like jumping off a tall building in the air.
Chen Chu approached the glass window, very close, put his face on the glass and flew out. Will it be in the air forever? Chen Chu closed his eyes ... the wind roared in his ear, the clouds wrapped around his body, soft, but his outstretched hand was empty. ...
Chen Chu woke up and looked at the outstretched fingers. He wanted to grab her hand with these hands. If he is wandering, he wants her to be with him. It's just that he thought he saw her clearly, but he always felt her heartlessness or incomprehension. But she is not a person who doesn't understand amorous feelings, by no means. She should be a person who can read a person's mind in a few words, of course, when she is willing to read others.
Although we have known each other for many years, we haven't seen each other for several years, and gentleness only exists on the surface. The feeling of approaching her is often cold. I thought I saw through her. Who knows that she is getting farther and farther away from herself, sometimes as close as a hug, but such moments are rare, and she always lets him down.
As a man with a family, Chen Chu will never forget his responsibilities, but the wandering complex haunts him and always makes him suffer. I don't know whether this pain comes from his sober understanding of reality or from his vague views. There are many enviable reasons for his career, but he is often bound by a sense of fear. He thinks it's terrible to deal with others with such a smile all his life. He wants to stay away from all the people. Deep down, he felt that he could give up everything, including his wife and son. But vaguely, there is something he doesn't want to give up, which makes him unable to change the status quo easily. He feels more and more clearly that what he doesn't want to give up is the fire line that gives him the courage to give up everything. What is this?
It's her. Whenever fear strikes, he will think of her. Because he can find the courage to go on in her smile.
Every time I see her, ChuChen has the urge to give up everything. As long as she says a word, it seems that all his pressure will disappear, and then he will enter his most desirable realm. Chen Chu didn't want to think about the deeper reasons. There is no reason to like her. The strangeness he hadn't seen for years made him unable to let go of her. However, this strangeness has become the distance between him and her, always bothering him and killing his courage and confidence a little. ...
The shabby house in front of the building will be demolished. Because she can't get rid of everything and get the freedom she wants, Chen Chu is frantically rebuilding everything. It is also because of his madness that his construction career has been climbing, and no one is more successful than him.
It is raining. When it comes, maybe winter will be over.
She propped up pholiota adiposa, left the dying house, walked into the alley, stood at the other end of the alley, looked back at a distance, listened to the roar of the machine, and thought about the way the house trembled in the rain. Don't you think it won't be remembered if everything is gone? Is there new life behind the ruins? No, she thinks that a new life is just the beginning of a repeat of the old scene. She hoped that the machine would suddenly break down and then time would stop.
Chen Chu watched the old house being pushed down from the tall building with a smile on his face. Death was as simple as that. When he saw the yellow umbrella, he thought, there are so many nostalgic people. I am glad that the person under the umbrella is not myself, otherwise his pain will be aggravated many times. ...
When one house falls down, another will fall down, and the new house will become an old house. ...