(A) unified thinking and understanding, update the concept of teachers.
1, the phenomenon and reasons of middle school students' heterosexual communication give all teachers a sober shot, which makes us have to re-examine and reflect on our educational behavior, and we have to look at and deal with the problem of middle school students' heterosexual communication from a new angle: ① With the progress of the times and the opening up of society, students' subjective consciousness has been greatly awakened. We must conform to this general trend, and we must never look at the new generation of interpersonal communication with feudal reading glasses, nor can we measure students with the weight of utilitarianism. Our students must adapt to the social environment after China's entry into WTO, and our children must adapt to the changed marriage and family reality in China. Democracy and respect are the essence of modern education. We should not stop at the utilitarian goals such as high scores and senior high school entrance examinations, but be responsible for the happiness of students throughout their lives and their all-round development.
2. Under the leadership of President Ma Jianjun and Director Zhao Yingqing, a member of this research group, our school holds a meeting of all the teaching staff every Saturday afternoon, taking "Psychological Health Education in Junior High School" (edited by Zhang Chengfen) as the reader, and relying on network materials, guiding teachers to learn advanced educational concepts. After a month of theoretical study, teachers' ideas have been updated. Almost all teachers can actively guide students from the perspective of respecting and caring for students in the principle of normality, no exaggeration and no publicity when they encounter problems, which provides healthy, correct and tolerant public opinion guidance for middle school students' heterosexual communication.
3. Guide teachers to improve teachers' professional ethics in combination with the teachers' moral education activities advocated by the county education commission. On the one hand, through democratic appraisal within teachers, student discussion and parents discussion, we give each teacher a quantitative score as an important way to evaluate and restrain teachers' professional ethics; On the other hand, teachers are trained by using professional ethics learning materials and business learning materials designated by the county education commission to improve their moral awareness and professional level.
(B) home-school communication, the correct treatment of middle school students of the opposite sex. Parent-teacher conferences are organized by the Political and Educational Affairs Office with the assistance of the Academic Affairs Office to guide parents to improve their family education ability. We know that parents' laissez-faire attitude towards middle school students' heterosexual communication will obviously make students at a loss, but blind interference and restriction will also increase students' anxiety and rebellious mood. Therefore, at the parent-teacher meeting, we clearly put forward that parents should take a neutral attitude towards the opposite sex communication of middle school students and teach their children to master their growth independently. Of course, autonomy is not equal to indulgence, and parents must guide middle school students' heterosexual communication step by step. Facing the problem of middle school students' heterosexual communication, parents should first adopt an accepting attitude, listen carefully to their children's feelings, and let them gradually accept their parents' influence in a subtle way; In addition, parents should also strive to build a good parent-child relationship and smooth communication channels, often create opportunities for close communication between father and son, mother and daughter, listen more and learn more about children's voices, and don't take improper behaviors such as peeking at children's diaries and tracking children; At the same time, when children are happy, you can tell them about your childhood experience and tell them that there must be more than one opposite sex classmate who likes you. If you only pay attention to one opposite sex at this time, it may affect your good relationship with other students and even change your teacher's view of yourself. That's not worth it. Encourage children to get in touch with other students of the opposite sex and often discuss with them the performance and characteristics of other students in the class. Let the children evaluate the students they admire and love, and cultivate their correct aesthetic consciousness ... Under the unified requirements of the school, most parents can correctly treat and handle the heterosexual communication of middle school students according to the requirements of the school, which guarantees a democratic and healthy family education atmosphere for promoting the formation of sound personality of middle school students.
(3) Use various consultation channels to guide students to have normal heterosexual contacts.
1, group counseling to guide students to help themselves.
With the help and support of Aring Zhang, director of the county education department, the members of our research group discussed the group counseling strategy based on "experience-mutual assistance" and implemented communication counseling for all students in Yushan Middle School. The specific operations are as follows: the members of this research group act as mentors, setting up situations for students' heterosexual communication, and then students play roles in the simulated situations to discuss and solve problems; In view of the confusion that students can't solve it by themselves and don't want to consult in the psychological counseling room, we ask students to write down their questions anonymously on a piece of paper, and then the tutor collects all the questions and guides the students to discuss and discuss the solutions. In the process of group counseling, on the one hand, it is assumed that the situation is set by the teacher according to the actual situation of the students, which will not affect the students' personal privacy, protect their self-esteem and improve their psychological defense ability, so that students can help themselves while helping others; On the other hand, this kind of counseling method, because it is carried out in groups, eliminates students' worries caused by distrust of the tutor, thus giving them a full sense of security and being warmly welcomed by students.
2. Set up a psychological counseling room to integrate middle school students' heterosexual counseling into psychological counseling. Our research group uses the fourth activity class every Monday to Friday afternoon as a fixed time for students' psychological consultation, and urges experienced educational experts such as the principal, director and director Li Daogui to sit in the psychological consultation room and give corresponding guidance to students' concerns together with our research group members. In the process of consultation, we make full use of listening skills, put ourselves on the same level as students, regard ourselves as their friends, and listen to students' voices with sincere and enthusiastic attitude, so that students' emotions are well vented, which ensures their mental health to a great extent and improves their interpersonal skills.
3. With the help of books, create a healthy cultural atmosphere and educate adolescent middle school students. (1) Organize class teachers to borrow books on adolescent topics from the school library, and guide students to understand adolescent knowledge and its physical and mental development through books. ② Establish a mental health tabloid for all students in Yushan Middle School to provide a healthy cultural atmosphere for the guidance of middle school students' heterosexual communication, so that students can subtly understand relevant knowledge and improve their mental health level. ③ Guide students to educate themselves by accumulating famous sayings and aphorisms, writing psychological diaries and other activities, which greatly improves students' psychological quality.
4. Integrate resources in many ways to educate students about love. ① Use literary works to educate students about love. The first volume of the ninth grade Chinese textbook contains an essay "Letter to My Daughter" by the famous educator Suhomlinski. The author does not shy away from the topic of love raised by her 14-year-old daughter, and tells the true meaning of love with vivid stories: "People's love should be not only beautiful, honest and loyal, but also rational, prudent, alert and serious. Only such love can bring joy and happiness. " ; Some famous literary works, such as The Book of Songs, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Norwegian Forest, Romeo and Juliet, etc. , condensed the most beautiful love experience and expression of human beings at all times and all over the world. They are full of love, selflessness, respect and sacrifice, showing the goodness of human beings and all the beautiful feelings condensed in love. We should develop and use these curriculum resources to educate students about love. ② Educate students with celebrity love stories. The love stories of many famous people in history are touching, such as the poetic love between Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun, Sun Yat-sen and Soong Ching Ling, Lu Xun and Xu Guangping, and the English poet Bai Langning and mallet. They are full of dedication and loyalty, elegance and innocence, responsibility and shame, conscience and sincerity, justice and tolerance. We use the internet to collect materials and rely on these classic celebrity love stories to educate middle school students on love and outlook on life. ③ Aesthetic education for students with music. Some beautiful music with the theme of love can edify students' sentiment and help them to establish positive and healthy aesthetic taste, such as violin music "Butterfly Lovers", piano music "To Alice" and song "In that faraway place". And guide students to appreciate or sing these tracks, so that students can establish a correct aesthetic consciousness in a subtle way.
5, combined with the safety education activities organized by the county education commission, to educate students about the safety of heterosexual communication. According to the fact that students often surf the Internet, our school uses the campus radio station to carry out the special program "Reporters in Action" to educate students on Internet behavior in a standardized and safe way. Through interviews with reporters and broadcasting essays and other related columns, students can understand the advantages and disadvantages of surfing the internet and the virtuality of the network itself, so as to standardize their online behavior. At the same time, using information technology courses to impart relevant network knowledge to students and guide them to surf the Internet in a civilized way; In addition, with the help of Yushan Town Police Station, the school is still cleaning up the surrounding environment and Internet cafes, and further tightening the student management system and safety defense measures, educating students to establish safety awareness, standardizing interpersonal communication with off-campus personnel, and ensuring a safe and orderly educational order in the school.
6. Hold a girls' seminar and implement model education for girls' groups. Zhang Qi, vice-chairman of the Student Union and a student in Class 3, Grade 02, is a good student with excellent academic performance. Our research group invited her to give a lecture on "Grasping Yourself and Going to Success" for all the girls with her own personal experience and successful experience, and gave all the girls an ideal education class, guiding them to set up lofty aspirations and positioning their happiness on the road of studying hard, improving their own quality and striving for the realization of their ideals, which to some extent diluted and diverted the anxiety caused by students' confusion in heterosexual communication. In addition, teacher Wu Xia, a member of this research group, presided over the girls' symposium "Where is Happiness" with her own understanding, guiding girls to understand that good friendship can bring us joy and happiness, and every student should cherish the friendship between classmates and strive to create a harmonious and warm class atmosphere; In addition, pure love is beautiful and worth cherishing. Only by making yourself better can you get the ideal love and find a happy life. Carry out the "Women's Elegant Month" activity, set an example among the girls in the whole school, and carry out peer education for girls: through the nomination of the head teacher and the selection of students, one outstanding girl with self-esteem, self-love, self-reliance and self-improvement is selected as the "Top Ten Female Campus" in each class every semester, and ten outstanding girls are selected through speeches to form the "Top Ten Female Campus Report Group".
7. Organize colorful after-school activities to educate students on empathy. Boys and girls in early youth like to participate in various recreational activities and read various literary works. We take advantage of their interests to carry out various educational and interesting activities, such as speech activities, calligraphy competitions, basketball competitions, campus singer contests, book reports and so on. Adjust students' spiritual life and transfer their remaining energy to activities they are interested in in in time, so as to dilute the troubles caused by the germination of students' sexual consciousness and educate students on empathy.
8. Formulate norms for the communication between boys and girls, and provide a reference code of conduct for the normal communication between boys and girls in middle schools. According to the experience of Shanghai West Middle School in regulating the communication behavior of boys and girls, and referring to the relevant contents of the seventh grade ideological and moral textbooks, our school has formulated the communication norms for boys and girls: advocating more communication between boys and girls in the same class, not advocating cross-class and cross-grade communication between boys and girls, and not advocating cross-school or even cross-industry communication; Advocate collective communication between boys and girls, and do not advocate individual density communication between boys and girls; Promote the communication between boys and girls on campus and discourage the communication between boys and girls off campus, especially in entertainment places; Encourage students to talk more about health contents such as study and work, and do not encourage students to talk about eating, wearing and playing; Advocate students' communication to value spirit rather than material things, and do not advocate students' communication to give gifts; Advocate the communication between boys and girls to pay attention to civilization and behave appropriately, and do not advocate physical contact between boys and girls; Advocate men and women to actively listen to the guidance of their elders, and do not advocate carrying their elders, especially guardians; Advocate the communication between boys and girls in the real environment, not the communication between boys and girls on the internet. The norm of communication between boys and girls in middle school students is mainly in the form of oral agreement, aiming at guiding the class teacher to do detailed ideological work for the students, so as to guide the students to have normal communication between boys and girls.