1. Whenever you feel that your mood is wrong, keep silent, take a few deep breaths, and communicate with others when your mood is straightened out, so as not to hurt others.
2. When you are angry, immediately close your eyes, stomp a few feet, find a quiet corner and sing loudly, but only if it doesn't affect others.
Learn to look at the problem from another angle. Goethe said, don't punish yourself with other people's mistakes. Letting others go is also letting yourself go. Learn to be tolerant.
4. Keep a normal mind, look at things rationally, and sometimes learn to look at and analyze difficulties from an outsider's perspective, and then try to solve them.
First of all, the real reason why many people can't control their emotions is that they don't know what the real source of their irritability is.
Moreover, when our emotions really erupt, we can't observe ourselves from another angle, so that it will happen again next time after it happens, because no one can give you correct feedback, and you don't know how annoying it is when you are in a bad mood.
Many people think that the root of affecting emotions is what is happening now or the reaction of others. In fact, in my opinion, this view is not necessarily correct.
There is a famous theory in psychology, called ABC theory, which generally means that everything has a cause and a result. When analyzing the cause of this incident, most people will look for the motive of this incident, that is, the cause of the incident. But most people ignore the intermediate link, that is, B in ABC theory, and B refers to the bridge, which means the bridge. We usually only find ourselves upset, upset or angry because of something, but we ignore the real factors that lead us to be upset, upset and angry, that is, our judgment and cognition of this prior cause, or the belief, understanding and view of the proponent of ABC concept on this induced event. This is the real reason why we are upset, fidgety and angry.
Once, an author of procrastination psychology mentioned the point that procrastinators have a fear of success besides being particularly afraid of failure. Because their families often doubt a child's ability, and such a family will lead children to begin to doubt themselves slowly, which will lead them to form an inertia of doing things, that is, when they are about to succeed, they will start to worry about what to do if what their parents say is true and what to do if it really doesn't work, so they will keep dragging their feet in order not to see the result of things.
I said these two examples to illustrate my point. I think the first premise of controlling my emotions is to find out the source of my emotions. Is it really our dissatisfaction with the status quo? Or did the family education in childhood give us too much pressure? Is it really that what others say is too harsh? Or do we have problems with our views on things and values of people since childhood? Only by finding these real roots can we fundamentally solve emotional problems.
We can also use some auxiliary methods to relieve it, such as practicing deep breathing and smiling often, which can make your heart more and more calm. It would be better if you could practice yoga or meditation. Sometimes, we underestimate the influence of physical factors on our emotions. Sometimes, doing a sweaty exercise can quickly sweep away some negative emotions. Why? It's very simple, because when you exercise, your brain has no extra energy to deal with emotions, and your energy is all concentrated on exercise, so your negative emotions are all driven away by your body and brain, and other factors are not allowed to compete for energy at this time. It's as simple as that, so keeping the habit of exercise can also make your mood more stable.
Tell you the truth quietly.
People with calcium deficiency are more likely to be angry, irritable and emotionally unstable.
Emotion is actually related to the physical structure of the body, hehe. The lack of certain minerals in the body can cause great mood swings. Therefore, it is better to control emotions by adding more missing elements, and then cultivate emotions on this premise.
In addition, practicing yoga is a good way. Yoga stresses concentration. When you concentrate on one thing at a time, you will easily feel happy. If you think about another thing every time you do it, your heart will be very complicated and anxious.
So, focus on everything, eat well when eating, feel the sweetness of food, drink well when drinking water, feel the coolness of water drops, have a good meeting when meeting, feel the popularity of the venue, work hard at work and feel the achievements of life ... Hehe, this is the most basic therapy to control emotions.
Concentration and pleasure have always been twins. Emotion and complexity have always been with you ... Make your heart more focused and quiet, which is not only the basis for controlling emotions, but also the source of career success.
A little advice, thanks for reading.
Very simple, just follow the following three steps:
Step 1, Understanding Emotion
Specifically, when you find that life is full of ups and downs, for example, colleagues in the same department always accuse you and spit on you, then you will feel angry; Just stop to buy breakfast and get tickets, you will feel particularly depressed; When ordering in a small restaurant downstairs, the waiter absently remembers your taste, and you will feel angry; Traffic jams on the way to work will make you feel irritable and even anxious, and nothing is pleasing to the eye.
At this time, you have realized the emotion you expressed. Understanding emotion is the first step of emotion management, because you need to know what it is.
The second step is to control your expression.
After understanding emotions, you need to learn to control your expression, including your body language, voice and intonation. For example, when you are angry, in general, expressions and language are synchronized. Imagine that you are angry. Will you stare angrily at the person who makes you angry, spit out accusations from your mouth, and still tell him? But now, you should try to show your anger first, and wait for 3 seconds before you get angry. You need to exercise restraint in these three seconds, just delay for three seconds. It's not difficult, is it
When you delay for 3 seconds, you can make new demands to further control your expression. For example, be happy when you are angry. Of course, you would say it's too difficult. Please believe me and try. Happy expressions are more common in the lower part of the face, such as the corners of the mouth rising, which is easy to do. But people who are happy from the heart will also raise their eyebrows and foreheads, and it is not easy to pretend. You can take a small mirror and practice it often. After a long time, you can certainly do it.
Therefore, not only don't talk when the mood is strong, but try to delay the expression for 3 seconds, do one thing in these 3 seconds, and tell your feelings correctly. For example, he makes me angry or I'm in a bad mood, and his criticism makes me uncomfortable. This is a kind of talk. Although talking about yourself, it can also reduce the impulse. Then, you try to express your ideas in a way that doesn't attack each other. Remember, don't suppress expression.
Step 3: Emotional adjustment
The first two steps are to control the external reaction of emotions with self-control. In this step, you need to change your mood. You can follow the following process:
Stimulate your world-your cognition-your emotional response-self-debate-new emotions.
For example, colleagues give you an arrogant look and stimulate your world;
You think this proud person looks down on you, which is your cognition;
You are angry, so you stare at him angrily, just your emotional reaction;
Then you can argue with yourself. He is an arrogant man. This is normal. It's not my fault. And if I am a good person, it doesn't matter what he thinks of me. If I don't like people, he just looks at me like that, which is a reminder to me.
Then you become calm and look at him without hostility. This is your new mood.
We might as well spend two or three months practicing, and then we will inadvertently find that we can not only keep calm every day, but also often stop worrying. Moreover, the attitude of the whole person has also become positive, and it has also achieved success in emotional management.
The common ways to control your emotions are as follows:
(1) breathing relaxation regulation method
Usually, breathing is done through the mouth and chest, but abdominal breathing is advocated in the breathing relaxation regulation method, which is a method of using the abdomen as the respiratory organ. First of all, find a suitable position to stand or sit well and relax naturally; Secondly, inhale slowly, feel the abdomen bulge slowly when inhaling, and begin to exhale when reaching the maximum; When exhaling, feel the airflow exhaling through the nasal cavity until you feel the front and rear abdomen sticking together.
Relaxation and adjustment are mainly aimed at body muscles and should be used in conjunction with abdominal breathing. The way to relax and adjust the head is to bend the head forward and backward as much as possible, inhale during the lifting process and exhale during the lowering process. You can also relax and adjust around the waist and limbs.
(2) Music adjustment method
Music adjustment method refers to the method of controlling emotional state with the help of music with distinct emotional color.
Many people have this experience: listening to a lullaby, unconsciously entering a sweet dream; After a day of intense study, singing a song will eliminate fatigue. Modern medicine shows that music can regulate the function of nervous system, relieve muscle tension, eliminate fatigue, improve attention, enhance memory, and eliminate negative emotions such as depression, anxiety and tension. If athletes have abnormal emotional performance before the game, such as excessive tension, listening to a piece of light music can often stabilize their emotions. As Kant, a famous German philosopher, said, "Music is a noble and witty entertainment, which enables the human spirit to help the human body and become the healer of the body."
Guo Dejun and Tian Bao: Emotion-the Color of the Soul, Beijing Normal University Press, 2002, p. 12 1.
When using music adjustment method, we should choose different music according to different people, time, place and mood. Proper music can often achieve good results.
(3) Reasonable catharsis adjustment methods
Reasonable venting and adjustment is to release one's repressed emotions to the right object and restore calm. When negative passion arises, people will feel unbearable pain. If you force and suppress such emotions too much, it will cause obstacles to consciousness, affect normal psychological activities, and even make people suddenly ill. At this time, if you honestly tell your relatives and friends about your unfairness, pour out your pain and misfortune, or even cry, or write a letter to a distant confidant to tell your difficulties, you can calm your mood. Of course, emotional venting should be reasonable, and attention should be paid to the objects, occasions and ways of venting, which should not exceed the scope of laws and regulations.
(4) Reasonable adjustment methods
Many negative emotions are often caused by lack of understanding or misunderstanding of the truth of the matter. You need to calmly and rationally analyze whether your understanding of things is correct. When you find that things are not what you think, negative emotions will disappear. Narrowness of mind sometimes reinforces negative emotions. When a negative emotion arises, the subject's thoughts will gradually be involved in the whirlpool of this emotion. Worried people are more worried, and angry people are more angry. As for other aspects, they are ignored and excluded. This requires dialectical thinking and multi-faceted and multi-angle thinking. When the positive meaning of things is discovered, negative emotions can be transformed into positive emotions. In addition, we should learn "psychological replacement". When we are angry with others, we should put ourselves in each other's shoes, and maybe we can calm down.
(5) Proposed supervision method
Language has a great suggestive and regulatory effect on emotions. When you are troubled by negative emotions, you can relax your psychological tension through the suggestive function of language, so that negative emotions can be alleviated. For example, when you are angry, you can repeatedly hint yourself with words: "Be patient for a while, so as not to worry for a hundred days." When you are full of complaints, you can use the poem "Complaints are too strong to prevent heartburn, and the scenery should be beautiful" to imply yourself. Practice has proved that this method is quite effective.
(6) sublimation
Turning negative emotions such as pain, resentment and jealousy into positive and beneficial actions, that is, high-level expression, is called sublimation. It is often said that "turning grief into strength". Some people are jealous of their accomplished colleagues, but reason doesn't allow them to express this kind of psychology, so they redouble their efforts and strive hard, and finally surpass their opponents. Many people are in adversity and bear the burden of humiliation, but they are optimistic and enterprising, constantly striving for self-improvement and achieving remarkable results, which is a typical example of sublimation. Sublimation is the highest and best form of regulating negative emotions.
This kind of thing, emotion, cannot be controlled blindly. People often endure, wronged themselves not to break out. After a long time, people will be depressed and become passive. Nuo Nuo has no bottom line. In fact, when you really can't help losing your temper, you should lose your temper. Seriously think that 90% of people around you can afford to offend. No big deal. After losing your temper, think about whether you should lose it. If it's your fault, you need to adjust. If not, then what should be done.
Every time I get angry, I will meditate on my normal heart. Normal heart. I am used to it now. Anger is a sign of incompetence. If you can say that temper has become a kind of strength, it is ability.
Emotions can't be controlled. The more you control it, the more uncomfortable it becomes. The more you control it, the harder it is to dissipate. When you encounter something annoying, you need to slowly resolve it, think more, analyze the causes, and convince your heart to accept some reality through the correct dialectics of things, so as to fundamentally solve the problem. If you need guidance to solve your inner troubles, you are welcome to believe me personally.
Keep your head down and see if you have the capital to dry up.
As long as you want to live a long and healthy life, you will learn to control your emotions and irritability!
Unless you want to get old and get sick quickly,
No, I think everyone wants to live a long life! ?