Those who have watched the program "Teacher Please Answer" must be familiar with Mr. Li Yongle, who has a double bachelor's degree from Peking University and a graduate degree from Tsinghua University. After all, in the eyes of the public, academic masters are all-powerful, but Li Yongle laughed at himself: "Except for studying, there is zero other labor force."
As a top academic since childhood, Li Yongle’s parents are typical distributing parents. Except for not participating in their son’s study, they arrange all other aspects of their life in an orderly manner. For this reason, Li Yongle, who devoted himself to studying, realized that he was almost the same as a "waste" when he grew up.
I have trouble choosing when I go to a restaurant and don’t know what to order; the air conditioner remote control has no power and I don’t know how to change the battery; I go to the mall to buy clothes and I don’t know what kind of clothes to buy... As a top student, This kind of skill is possessed by 6-year-old children, but he does not have it! The root of all this comes from his arranged parents.
Perhaps in the eyes of many parents, learning is the top priority for their children. They will naturally understand some small life skills when they grow up, and there is no need to waste time now. In fact, it is not these little things that waste time, but the blind arrogance of parents.
According to a Harvard study, the unemployment rate for children who can do housework and those who do not is 1:15 when they grow up. This world is secretly punishing those children who have low ability to take care of themselves!
1. Why parents like to do everything for their children
1. They are afraid that their children will waste their study time
Nowadays, children’s study time is particularly tight. Not only do they have to go home from school After completing the homework assigned by the teacher, I also have to take specialty classes in interest classes, so my time schedule is full.
In this case, parents will take the initiative to do everything for their children, such as the clothes the children wear every day, cleaning their rooms, etc., without the children having to worry about it. Of course, the purpose of all this is to save children's time so that they can do more exercises or test papers.
2. Don’t trust their children to do something well
Sometimes, when their children ask to help their parents wash and clean, some parents will use the phrase “it’s a waste of your time.” , "You don't have to do it" and other reasons to prevaricate the child. On the surface, this is because parents do not want their children to distract themselves from studying, but in fact, it is also mixed with a sense of distrust towards their children.
After all, children who have never done this kind of work may make things more and more complicated, which is not as easy as parents can solve in three to five minutes.
3. Out of love for children
Of course, sometimes there are dangers in doing housework. For example, if you accidentally break the bowl while washing the dishes, you will hurt your hand. If the water temperature in the sink is too high, it will burn your hands. Because parents are more worried about their young children, they will also prohibit their children from doing housework.
2. What harm does arranging parents do to children?
1. Destruction of children’s creativity
When children are still young, their abilities need to be improved by relying on Exploration and practical action allow them to master new skills through exploration, action, and challenges again and again.
But if parents pamper their children too much, helping them with laundry, cooking, and solving troubles, this will only keep the children in their "original state" and destroy their creativity and mobility.
2. Let children develop an incompetent character
Ask a child who has been raised in a greenhouse by his parents since childhood. When they really go out into society, will they be able to face it? Social hardships and blows? Look at the children who are often reported in the news as committing suicide or trying to cheat the elderly. Which one of them was not pampered by his parents when he was a child?
3. Children are not confident in doing things
A child who has never made the decision for himself since he was a child will only rely on his parents when he grows up. Just like Mr. Li Yongle, a top student from Peking University, he doesn’t even know how to order food when he goes to a restaurant. Isn’t this an idiot in life?
If Teacher Li Yongle could be brave and ask the waiter to introduce his signature dishes, would this problem be solved? However, apart from studying, Teacher Li Yongle's whole person was full of distrust in himself.
4. The child has no sense of responsibility
A mother with a doctorate raised her son until he graduated with a doctorate. After a few days of work, the child thought he could not adapt to the environment, so he resigned and went home, never to go out again. Find a job.
Now, my son, who is in his 30s and has a doctorate, lives on his mother’s retirement salary, and he takes it for granted. Such children have no sense of responsibility, no sense of gratitude, and are completely parasites of society.
3. How to educate children in order to be responsible for them
1. Give children the right to take action
Many times, children need to take the initiative to explore the outside world. The rules of survival so that they can integrate well into it. Moreover, parents cannot take care of their children for a lifetime, so letting them go as early as possible can help them learn survival skills more quickly.
So, if parents worry less, their children will be more attentive. From now on, tell your children to do their own things and let them develop the good habit of doing things independently.
2. Believe that children can do well
Every child will make mistakes when exposed to new things, but even so, parents need to remain patient and give more to their children. A little correction time.
In addition, parents should also encourage their children and believe that they can work well, so that their children can grow better and faster.
3. Encourage children to develop in all aspects, morally, intellectually, and physically.
Children in modern society are no longer learning machines. They need to master too many skills. It is recommended that parents not be too harsh. Children's learning should focus on moral, intellectual, physical and beauty. Only in this way can children with all-round development be able to adapt to the requirements of society in the new era for talents.
So, when the children come home from school, parents can take their children out to play ball, practice calligraphy, etc., which are extremely beneficial to the growth of their children.