The beginning of August means that half of Ling'er's summer vacation has passed. At the end of last semester (fourth grade), her overall academic score was the first in the class, and she was the first by luck. Why do you say it was a fluke? Because the total score difference between the top two is half a point, the fourth and fifth place are still tied in total score. Although I have always warned myself: Don’t only focus on your child’s scores...but I am still very pleased that my child got first place in the exam. In this day and age, children need companionship when doing homework, but this is not the case in our family. In the first grade, if you know few words and don’t understand the questions, you can take them and ask them. But if you want your parents to accompany you to do your homework, sorry, we don’t have the time. My child, you'd better learn to be independent. Therefore, her father and I have always been very relieved about her.
Until the night before last, when I was sitting on her desk working on my half-finished Zentangle. I asked casually, how did you finish your summer homework?
That’s almost it.
How much is it approximately?
I have done XX pages of summer homework, and I have completed my reading notes...
Stop! Just tell me how much is left unfinished.
…
If you don’t ask, you won’t know. If you ask, you will be shocked. I only finished 1 of the 8 entries in my diary. I took 20 reading notes and only completed 9. Ten math problems a day, completed on July 6th, but not completed on July 7th-9th. There is still half of the summer vacation homework... This naughty kid is itchy, isn't he? ! Distraught, I put away my bag of Zentangle tools and started babbling.
When summer vacation first started, I asked you to make plans. What did you say? Isn’t it interesting that every time you make a plan, you never complete it? Okay, you're right, I'll let you arrange your own time. But now that the holiday is halfway over, you still have time to watch TV all day long. Who decided to be a top student at the beginning of the vacation? When I come back from get off work every day, I see you watching TV and ask you if you have done your homework. You say you have done it and write a word. Is it called that? Do you deserve the trust your parents place in you? ...
Blame it on me! The things I had on my list to do over the summer with my kids, I didn’t do. I often ask her if she did her homework today? How many did you do? I just asked, and didn't ask her to bring the homework to me. During her summer vacation, she only took one interest class: calligraphy class. Usually when she is at home, she will be asked to help take care of her younger brother who is under one year old. She doesn't have much time left, and she likes to watch TV and read extracurricular books that she likes to read. It's understandable that her homework progress is slow.
Whenever the door is closed and she is reading in her room, we all think she is doing homework and do not bother her. I no longer take the initiative to wash the dishes after meals, and I don’t wash my own clothes much. I was complaining bitterly to the side, but she was still there with a stinking face, and she thought I was too verbose. It seems that I was too busy at work, communicated too little with her, and followed up too little, so something went wrong. Recalling her winter and summer vacations in the past few years, there were more than one occasion when school was approaching and she was desperately trying to catch up on homework and burning the midnight oil. There were two times when school started and the homework was not finished. It's really a typical "remember to eat but not to fight".
When children have problems, we should look for solutions to the problems ourselves. Adults have poor self-discipline, let alone underage children. I should face these problems calmly with her. Look for solutions instead of venting your emotions.
I took out a piece of A4 paper and asked her to list the unfinished homework one by one. Ask her, by what date do you want to complete all your homework? 21st.
Okay, how many days are there until the 21st? 19 days.
In order to complete all the homework on the 21st, how much homework do you need to complete every day?
……
Before going to bed, I asked her to write a list for herself tomorrow, what homework she would complete tomorrow, and cross out each item she completed. Every night when I get home from get off work, she has to give me two lists. One is a list for today and I want to check on her progress. Includes homework. One is a list of things planned to be done tomorrow.
She said she likes to watch TV. Who doesn’t like to watch TV? When I was a kid, I didn’t have time to watch a lot of TV. I always wanted to save it and watch it when I grew up and didn’t have to worry about school. Facts have proved that there are so many good TV shows. If I really have to spend time watching TV series one after another, I think it is a waste of time.
It is human nature to stay in bed. During the summer vacation, Ling'er slept until eight or nine o'clock in the morning every day. Sometimes she woke up early and stayed in bed in various ways, unwilling to get up. As a child who grew up, I can naturally understand this feeling. Since it is a holiday, just let her be. She said she was a night owl and couldn't sleep at night or get up in the morning. I said you were too leisurely during the day and if you still can't fall asleep next time, go and exercise. After riding a bicycle for a few laps, you will naturally fall asleep when you are tired.
Can’t get up in the morning? It's okay. I don't ask you to get up at six o'clock. I go to work at seven o'clock, so you have to get up for me. Read English for at least 20 minutes and memorize a Tang poem. After breakfast, complete each task on the list. Before doing the task, please go to the toilet, drink water, set the Pomodoro timer, and focus for 25 minutes. Then empty your mind and rest for 5 minutes. Start the next Pomodoro. You must practice two Pomodoro brushstrokes every day. If you complete the task well, the reward will be an episode of TV for you to watch the next night after you complete today's task. Is this okay? !
No one is born excellent, and no one can be a good parent without learning. A problem arises, and we work together to figure it out. You are walking on the path of a good person, and your dad and I are also walking on the path of good parents. This is a happy and win-win outcome for everyone. There will definitely be a lot of troubles on the way to growing up. Mom will accompany you to fight monsters and level up. You have always been the pride in the eyes of your parents and the role model for your younger brothers and sisters to grow up. I hope you grow into what you like.