Like Pang, the author of this article has two sons, one is studying in a TOP 1 private school in a certain district, and the other is studying in a counterpart public school, and is about to enter the second grade.
Then the summary of the second-child family begins with the differences between the children.
This article first appeared on the official account of Xue Ji WeChat, and was published with the authorization of the author.
Accept children who can't stand chickens
In the face of drawing lots to pull all the children back to the same starting line, the most complaining is the chicken blood clan. Although I understand that if we continue to be "crazy", I am afraid that everyone will be victims, but I always feel that this policy has come too suddenly, giving some people fairness, but taking away the opportunity that others have worked hard for many years.
Until I saw that kid who didn't like chickens at all. ...
When I was in the big class, I didn't copy my brother's class schedule to my younger brother, but only intercepted part of the workload. However, even so, I was stunned by what I saw. ...
First of all, my brother will never take the initiative to show me all the contents completed today after work. Moreover, every passive spot check, there will always be a lot of content to cut corners. For example, if you can't do it, just skip it, quietly, and then it's gone. This never happens at my brother's place.
Secondly, I understand the importance of calculation for enlightening mathematics, so I copied the calculation of "chicken" on my brother. Unfortunately, the proficiency of calculation problems has been hovering at a level for a long time. Whether it is step by step or leaving enough rest days to decompress, the outcome is not satisfactory. It's no use trying to force and seduce. There are always a few mistakes in the calculation workbook-it seems that it is more difficult to get them all right than to ascend to heaven!
However, is the younger brother really a scum? Not exactly. For example, for the Gauss math textbook that he is still interested in completing, he can also complete the content of the next grade through self-study. Although he lacks a lot of proficiency and accuracy, it is enough to prove that he likes this course and has the ability of self-study and inquiry.
So what's the problem?
Because my brother has his own rhythm-casual, even lazy, doing things entirely by interest, and his ability to resist pressure is poor. Finally, there is another trick. If you play hardball, he will cry to his teammates.
Compared with my brother who is not afraid of difficulties in brushing questions, is willing to be punished, has a fever and takes the initiative to complete the task of the day, and is meticulous in attending interest classes, except for regretting having two children, it seems that he can only sigh the magic of genes.
Contradictions in growth
Apart from the difference between my two children, I have also experienced many changes in my younger brother in the last two years. Children are growing, some changes are gratifying, and some are heartbreaking. For example, I mentioned games more than once in my past articles, which is a microcosm of some contradictions.
When children are older, they begin to have many needs of their own, such as entertainment and socialization. Games have both social and entertainment functions and become the favorite of many children.
Objectively speaking, he still listens to his parents, but when their words contradict what he likes very much, he begins to hesitate. When contradictions escalate, evasion and deception naturally appear.
From the initial bitterness, to the anger when I found out that I was cheated, and then to the confusion when I was repeatedly banned-at that time, I didn't seem to know the good boy in front of me.
Persuaded by my teammates, I began to calm down and look back on my past. Slowly, all this no longer seems disgusting, but becomes deja vu: how many wrong things have we done behind our parents' backs? What really changes us is the beating and cursing of our parents or our own awakening?
People need love, so does education. With the growth of children's age, parents' beatings and scolding gradually become ineffective. What can make children change is not only to be reasonable, but more importantly, to make him realize the seriousness of the problem and take the initiative to make changes. Before he is really moved, other coercive means will only force him to go further and further.
The game is a typical example, and it is also the focus of several contradictions between my children and me. But now, as long as my son can "enough is enough", I will "play dumb". I understand that it is impossible and unnecessary to kill them all. Q: Do you really want your children to be different in communication with their peers? Since your goal is not to affect your study, it is not bad to leave him some good ideas.
Don't you think it's better to play hard to get than to kill the goose that lays the golden egg and kill the larger foe?
Planning for positive change
After realizing my brother's personality characteristics, I began to re-plan my brother according to his growth experience and the present situation of further education.
1. Reasonable arrangement of college courses
Born to speak late and enter the state slowly, such children can only act as decorations and send money to the enlightenment English class. Therefore, we decided to deal with this link directly from the chicken. Saving money and effort is second, and more importantly, it can better coordinate the time saved by the two children and give targeted support according to their respective rhythms.
Specifically, first, the teammates guide the pronunciation and the parent-child time of reading, and then take out the ABC baking short film that my brother has seen to stimulate children's interest in English. Later, RAZ and some picture book intensive reading classes began to come into my brother's sight, which made him want to stop. Before the primary school started, he finally opened the recorded video of an online school and officially returned to the place where his brother started school.
The so-called all roads lead to the same goal, maybe that's it!
Nowadays, although my brother's English is still inferior to that of his contemporaries, we have no pressure at all. In order to better study systematically and make up for the disadvantages of public primary schools in English, I enrolled my brother in an online English class from the summer vacation. After all, live classes can improve children's classroom efficiency, and my brother has been used to such home classes since he was a child, saving us time and energy in picking up and dropping off.
Why does every child have to learn English for the whole five years or even junior high school in the middle and lower grades of primary school? Why does every child have to brush RAZ several times until he knows everything? Is it necessary to regard the old thinking of Xiaoshengchu and the so-called chicken blood route with great limitations that should have been abandoned long ago as a god?
What suits you is the best, and self-confidence will stay away from anxiety.
2. It is better to talk about chickens sooner than later.
In terms of Chinese, I have given my brother the necessary basic knowledge and training in reading and writing since the first grade. Chicken, of course, with some formal teaching AIDS.
There are two main reasons. The first is to smooth out the gap between schools. This is not as simple as making several unit papers in other schools, but every class should be carefully accumulated from the first grade.
The second is to strengthen the basic Chinese training in combination with the good results of my brother's use of some teaching AIDS.
Don't wait for language to become a soft spot to make up for it, because the gap between different disciplines will deepen children's escape and even disgust of backward disciplines. Many chicken blood parents who only have an eye for Olympic English should pay special attention to this.
3. The schedule is thick and dense
I used to be a person who made the holiday plan to the extreme, but with the increase of my younger brother's grade, I found that such a schedule has a shortcoming, that is, dependence. Children's learning always depends on their parents' precise arrangements, which on the one hand will prevent children from improving their time management ability, and on the other hand will increase the difficulty of children's transformation from "parents want me to learn" to "I want to learn by myself".
Everything should leave room, which is what I gradually realized in the baby chicken.
Other children can bear a huge dose of chicken blood, can your children? Other children can always listen to their parents' arrangements from grade one to grade five, but is your child willing? As for causing others' anxiety with a bloated schedule, it is even more meaningless. It must be admitted here that I have written similar articles myself, and the timetable is "rich". It's just that in life, you have to hit your face, but it's better early than late.
Now I start to let the children make their own schedules. A day is divided into three periods: morning, middle and evening, and each period is allocated 1-2 things. Some people will say, isn't this a lot less content? Yes, but it looks less, but it is actually more. Because instead of arranging a lot of unfinished content, it is better to leave some blanks and let them arrange it themselves. And it is more valuable to reduce the number of projects and improve the quality of each project.
Less is more. Do you want your child to be a step-by-step operator or a planning commander? The answer goes without saying!
Projects that continue to advance
In addition to the changed content, the rest is the chicken blood content that keeps moving forward.
1. The principle is not relaxed.
Study habits and attitudes are a matter of principle. All teachers will mention this point, and all conscience companies will repeatedly emphasize this point, but it is also the most difficult to do.
Although some children go to a good junior high school, the potential problems in their learning attitude and habits will sooner or later ruin their proud specialty.
This is why until today, I still need to tell my brother about the problems exposed in his learning attitude and habits. Better late than never, any minor problem should be remedied in time, because it is a matter of principle and cannot be shaken.
2. Continue to expand interest
Piano and chorus are my brother's hobbies, and my brother follows up calligraphy and painting, which can be said to have their own strengths.
Vegetarian chicken is indeed a long-term waste of money, but it can have a far-reaching impact on children's future. Not to mention noble sentiments and tastes, one or two hobbies can make children's lives more colorful. Maybe it's a channel to make friends, maybe it's a means to relax, and learning is not just a cruel battle for further education in reality.
Although the two children seem to have no talent in sports, we also arranged swimming lessons early and made many attempts in football, basketball and badminton. It is never wrong that health is the capital of revolution.
3. Thinking exercises can't be lost
In the current environment, mathematical thinking is still one of the most important aspects of excellent junior high schools and senior high schools. Therefore, no matter whether there are various forms of assessment or screening, we can't relax the cultivation of children in this respect.
Today's study should be more based on children's interests, so I don't worry about problems and correct rates. As long as I understand and can draw inferences, that is gain. In the study planning, according to the children's foundation, we should choose the institutional courses with appropriate difficulty in the middle and lower grades, add appropriate brush questions in the senior grades, consolidate the knowledge points in the whole primary school stage, and lay the foundation for junior high school.
Opportunities are for those who are prepared, and those children who are interested in top universities should firmly seize this advantage from an early age.
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