At that time, my friends and I were playing in the street. We were thirsty and tired, so we went to the nearby supermarket to buy mineral water and had a good chat while drinking. After drinking, just as we were about to continue playing, I threw away the mineral water bottle and didn't care at all. An aunt cleaner came in a garbage truck and sighed helplessly when she saw the water bottle on the ground: "Who threw this around?" People nowadays are really becoming more and more uncivilized. Hearing this, we blushed, bowed our heads shyly, and went to the cleaner's aunt to apologize: "I'm sorry, aunt, we threw those rubbish." We were about to accept the coming of the "storm", but menstruation smiled and said, "Never mind, pay attention next time. Protecting the environment is our responsibility. " Then he smiled at us. At this time, I looked at the aunt carefully: oval face, several wrinkles on her forehead, small eyes and a "crescent moon" in her mouth.
Expert comments:
This is an article describing a person I admire. After reading your article, the teacher seemed to see an aunt cleaner cleaning up seriously. The article reveals the author's admiration for the aunt cleaner between the lines. Disadvantages: the structure of the article is incomplete, so it is necessary to add an appropriate ending to the article, such as "The image of aunt suddenly becomes so tall and kind in my heart, which is the person I admire most".
The students of cleaners all have people they admire: friends who practice hard, uncles and aunts who work hard and strive for self-improvement, and mothers who study foreign languages hard in their spare time, but what I admire most is the cleaners who work silently despite the cold and heat.
Someone will ask me, "What is there to admire about cleaners?" I always answer confidently that it is dirty for cleaners to sweep the streets, but have you ever thought about what they do? Isn't it just for our city and the environment we live in?
I got up early one morning last winter. The street lamps are still on and there are few cars, but there are already many cleaners on the road. Because it's early and cold, but the cleaners wear little clothes for the convenience of cleaning, but their hands never stop. Frozen red hands have been holding the stiff broom, and they have not put it down for a moment, just sweeping, sweeping ... piles of garbage are piled up behind them.
Cleaners never show off and clean our city with one pair of hands.
We should learn from the cleaners and their spirit of obscurity and selfless dedication. In fact, the cleaning staff is a beautiful landscape in our city and a well-deserved "urban beautician".
Expert comments:
The article can see the big from the small, and see the value of their spirit from the ordinary work of cleaning staff. The selection of materials is good, but it will be more convincing if we can write more specifically about the work of cleaning workers who work hard for urban cleaning and are not afraid of being dirty and tired. There is also the need to pay attention to the accuracy of statement expression.
Cleaners can always see a familiar figure in the street every morning, that is, uncle cleaner.
He is wearing blue overalls, rustic, even the shallow wrinkles on his face are covered with loess, and his beard looks like a prairie that cattle and sheep have never eaten. However, he started to work early every morning and didn't drag his tired body home until evening.
I remember one summer, it was very hot, and hot dogs barked every day. It seems to say, "Hot, hot …" I help my parents buy watermelons. As soon as I went out, it was hot, and my whole body was exposed to the sun, which was relentlessly emitting heat. At this time, I saw him again-uncle cleaner! He took a broom and slowly cleaned up the rubbish on the ground in the scorching sun. He was covered in sweat, but he didn't complain at all. He just swept and swept silently. ...
When he came home at night and the afterglow of the sunset shone on him, his shadow became very long. ...
Expert comments:
This paper describes that urban beautician-cleaner, unknown, brings us a comfortable life, a clean environment and a beautiful city in the monotonous and repetitive work of outsiders. It is very good that the author can focus on the things around him. But the selected materials are not original enough.
Cleaner Today, my mother and I came to the park to play. When we were walking, we saw a dustman holding a dung bucket in his right hand and a broom in his left. He is sweeping the floor and sweeping the garbage into the dung bucket. She is wearing an environmentally friendly dress. I asked him, and he said that he bought this dress himself. He bought this dress because he wanted those who were not environmentally friendly to correct their good habits, and to protect this beautiful city and defend their homes with him. I heard him say that there happened to be a child over there. When he was eating candy, he threw the candy paper on the ground. I ran over and asked, "Why don't you throw the candy paper in the trash can?" He said, "Why? I am not a cleaner. " I said sternly, "do you know that people want to protect the environment, but you are asking for trouble?" If everyone throws candy wrappers and other things like you, the world will become a garbage dump. " He said, "I see, I will change it, and I will tell those who litter." Thank you for letting me know that people should protect the environment anyway, starting with me.
Protect the earth's environment and defend our home.
Expert comments:
Dull language
Ordinary cleaners are very humble in the eyes of most people, but I don't think so. Although ordinary cleaners are ordinary people, they have endless beauty.
One morning, I thought I was the first to get to school, but I was wrong. In the quiet campus, several aunts are cleaning, and there are countless yellow leaves floating on the ground. I saw the dustman holding a broom in his right hand and a shovel in his left. She waved a broom in her right hand, swept pieces of yellow leaves and some waste paper together, then swept them into a shovel and gently put them into the trash can. Suddenly, a biting cold wind blew, and my face was red with cold, as if I had been stabbed by a poisonous needle, which was very painful. My aunt saw me and said, "Little friend, come back to the classroom quickly. You have a cold later, and your mother has to worry again. " I was moved by such a short sentence. At this time, a child threw a piece of paper, and the aunt quickly picked it up and threw it into the trash can. At this time, the naughty cold wind came again, blowing away all the paper on the dustbin. Aunt picked up the paper without saying anything and took a deep breath until the ground was clean.
Seeing this clean campus, I am in a good mood, and I am also infected by my aunt's cleaner spirit.
Expert comments:
Improper material selection, the center is not prominent.
An honorable man. Who is he? He is a cleaner, but there is one thing I will never forget. Do you want to know? Then look down.
At noon one day, there was thunder and lightning and it was raining cats and dogs.
"Bang, bang, bang", suddenly, someone knocked at the door. I was shocked when I opened the door. I saw a wet stranger standing outside. I want to close the door. The man suddenly said to me, "Don't turn it off. I have something to ask your mother. " I said, "Who are you?" He said, "I'm Grandpa Liu sweeping the street across the street! Is your mother at home? "
"Turns out to be grandpa liu! My mother is at home. Mom, someone wants to see you. "
"I see, please let him come in and wait." Mother said
Later, my mother came out and asked, "Uncle Liu, what can I do for you?"
Grandpa Liu said, "Is this your dress?"
"Yes!"
"There is 200 yuan money. Take it quickly. "
Mother said, "Here it is! I thought I dropped it! Thank you, Uncle Liu! "
"You're welcome", and Grandpa Liu walked into the heavy rain.
Looking at Grandpa Liu who disappeared in the heavy rain, my eyes were moist.
Ah! Grandpa Liu is really an honorable man.
Expert comments:
The language is plain and the center is not prominent.
The person I admire most is not a high-powered person, nor a high-powered person, nor a singer and star, but an ordinary cleaner.
In summer, the weather is very hot. We are all at home, with the fan and air conditioner on. What about the cleaner? But under the poison of the sun, I work silently.
In winter, the weather is cold, the biting north wind is blowing, and we all turn on the heating at home. What about the cleaner? But in the cold wind, sweeping the snow on the roadside.
On rainy days, we took an umbrella and got caught in a lot of rain. What about the cleaner? It was raining heavily, cleaning up the rainwater accumulated by the roadside, and they were all wet by the rain.
I remember one time, I went to help my mother take out the garbage. Just before I left, I was shocked by what happened. That's because I found that the cleaners emptied all the garbage and carried it away with garbage trucks. The garbage gives off all kinds of smells, but the cleaner cleans every trash can carefully.
I am really moved by the quality that the cleaners are not afraid of dirt, bitterness, cold and heat, and they are silently dedicated.
Expert comments:
Dull language
Cleaner: I am proud of him, an ordinary person: his weather-beaten face is engraved with traces left by years, and a simple suit is clean, which is his daily work clothes.
I don't know him, but I occasionally look up at him on my way to school. After a long time, I have a little complaint about him, probably because his broom March disturbs my dreams every morning.
Whenever I walk to the garbage truck pushed by him with a garbage belt, he always smiles at me in a friendly way and makes an elegant invitation gesture, just like saying "Welcome". I couldn't help smiling at him, thinking: It's rare to be so happy doing a job that people look down upon every day!
Once again, I saw grandma Zheng trudging over with garbage. He quickly stopped the garbage truck and ran to her at a speed of 100 meters. Several times later, he walked up to her, took the garbage from her hand and said, "Auntie, didn't you agree that I would leave the garbage at the entrance of the corridor?" Grandma kindly said, "son, I don't want you to suffer for me every day!" " He said, "Nothing", and then began to work.
Confident cleaner, you not only helped us take away the domestic garbage, but also purified our hearts.
Expert comments:
The center is not prominent, and the feelings are not true.
Dear cleaners, what I want to say to you is,
Hello! Recently, I often think that we are born to contribute to the society and do something beneficial to the motherland, no matter how small those things are, it is worthwhile. Thinking of this, I think the most admirable people must be you unknown cleaners.
I want to tell you, why are the streets and alleys in China so clean? Oh, all because of you. Dealing with dust every day, eyes will inevitably fly into the dust, eyes will be red and swollen. Even so, you will clean up wholeheartedly.
You work without regrets, dirty yourself and clean everyone. Although I looked down on you before, now I understand that a person's career is not high or low, but mainly depends on his contribution to society. I will tell everyone around me to be hygienic and not to litter, which will reduce your labor burden.
Cleaners-beauticians in the city, we can't do without you. You are the pride of China people. I admire you very much, and I want to praise you loudly!
Congratulations.
in perfect nick
Wenhui Wang
20 14 March 1
Expert comments:
The sentences are not fluent and the details are inappropriate.
Hard-working cleaners I think everyone should have seen hard-working cleaners in their own lives. Their salary may not be high, but they want one thing-a clean world.
I can only see their tired figure every morning. They are going to start working while we are still sleeping; When we took a lunch break, they were still cleaning the earth; They just got off work and were ready to go home when we fell asleep sweetly.
We buy popsicles in hot weather now, or go home and enjoy them slowly on the sofa with the air conditioner on, but who can think how tired these cleaners are?
In summer, they face the fiery red sun and sweat shines on their heads.
In winter, the winter wind is like a tiger, and their hands with brooms are red with cold against the wind.
Once when waiting for the bus at the station, I saw an uncle throw the finished cans on the ground, and there was a trash can next to it. No one cares how dangerous it is for a cleaner to sweep on the road. While the cleaners risked their lives to clean, did anyone put themselves in their shoes?
Cleaners-the patron saint of environmental sanitation.
Expert comments:
Dull language