What is the purpose of children learning so many talents nowadays? If you learn to learn from others for the sake of saving face, after learning these talents, children will not only have no benefits, but also get into the habit of vanity because they are not solid in learning and often want to show off to others. Therefore, the attitude of parents is very important.
If a child studies art, parents should guide him to be ambitious. With artistic talent, people can benefit from it. The so-called social country should be a mutual aid body, and everyone contributes their abilities and talents to benefit the group. For example, the music created by Mr. Li Shutong is still edifying people's temperament. Children should learn music. Like Mr. Li Shutong, they should aim high. They can "change customs, not be good at music" and use music to improve social atmosphere. If we guide him in this way, the child will have an ambition, and I believe his study will be different from others. When a child just wants to show off, then the talent he has learned will definitely encounter bottlenecks and cannot be broken. Because he likes to be swayed by considerations of gain and loss when comparing with others, he is very emotional, so he can't make a breakthrough. But if a child has ambition, he will constantly encourage himself to move forward, so ambition is the key to determining a person's success or failure.
"Zhu Zi's Motto of Managing the Family" mentioned that reading should aim at sages and grasp the root. What is the purpose of modern people's learning? Make money. The goal is wrong, so modern readers are angry and bitter because they didn't do well in the exam. Similarly, many people who study art are the same, and their kung fu can't be improved.
What is the purpose of Fan Zhongyan's reading? We should look for opportunities to serve the people. So his mood must be different from those who study just to be famous. Education "should be cautious from the beginning". To guide children to learn talents, we must also have a correct concept.
Which is more important, virtue or talent?
"Only learning to be virtuous, meritocracy is a move; Not as good as people, we must sharpen ourselves. " China has an idiom: "Have both ability and political integrity". This idiom tells us which is more important, virtue or talent? Germany comes first, then last, so the derby is more important.
In modern times, there was a calligrapher, Mr. Lin Sanzhi, who was praised as a contemporary sage of grass. The Japanese have great respect for his calligraphy. When Japanese calligraphers come to China, they will go to his home to pay tribute to him and appreciate his calligraphy and his personality. Mr. Lin Sanzhi once said: Only with virtue can we love talents; only without virtue can we admire talents (admire people); only with virtue can we use talents; only without virtue can we destroy talents. So, if we want to hire employees, how do we choose? If you want to choose talented people, at least choose employees who are talented and not talented. Because virtuous people know how to be tolerant, appreciate the talents of others, know how to be kind to others and be Si Qi, and know how to cherish talents.
But if there is no virtue but talent, it will inevitably envy others; Without talent, it's ruined. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, Li Si, the prime minister of Qin State, was immoral and talented, so he was jealous when he saw talented people. He was very jealous of his younger brother Han Feizi and framed Han Feizi for his death. Not only framed Han Feizi, but also framed literati, so it is suggested that Qin Shihuang burn books to bury Confucianism and burn the teachings of many sages in previous dynasties. This crime is too great. Later, Reese and his children didn't come to a good end, and they were both killed by the criminal law of beheading the East City. This is that only when you have no virtue can you be jealous of talents. Therefore, cultivating children must attach importance to virtue first. If virtue is not emphasized, no matter how high the child's talent is cultivated, his life will not be happy. Because envy of others must be very painful, and envy of others will also form many obstacles in life, and others will envy him. This is a place that must be cautious.
I know a calligrapher named Li Chuanjun, who used to be a calligraphy critic. In a calligraphy review, I found that some students' works were ghostwritten by teachers. Is this phenomenon good? If parents and teachers do such behaviors, they are actually not educating their children, but misleading them, making them feel that as long as they can achieve their goals, they can be unruly and unscrupulous. This has planted a very bad evil cause in children's hearts. In the future, they may break the law because of violations, and their lives may be ruined. Therefore, "virtue" is the foundation of a person's lifelong career, and it is very dangerous not to tie it well. Just like a big tree, if the roots are not well rooted, the higher the trunk grows and the greater the shade, the easier it is to be uprooted by the wind. Therefore, a person's criminal career is created in its heyday. The more successful he is, the more mistakes he makes. Later, calligraphers insisted on excluding these teachers from ghostwriting, so that the handwritten children could be truly affirmed.
The calligrapher once told me that he consulted many calligraphy teachers and spent a lot of money asking them for advice, but he didn't learn the real skills. He walked a long way and was poor and broke. Because he has a sense of mission to inherit China's art, and he rewards his diligence, he finally met his calligraphy teacher. His calligraphy teacher not only doesn't charge his tuition, but also lets him live at home and study with him. Therefore, there is certainly no need to spend a lot of money to let children learn the real skills. If these artists want to charge so much money, have they actually exposed whether they are virtuous or only talented? When a person has no virtue and talent, his talent and artistic realm will certainly encounter bottlenecks and cannot be improved, because art is also a manifestation of human nature. Why many works of art can touch people's hearts is directly related to his state of mind and good cultivation.
When his calligraphy teacher taught him many important psychological skills, he said to him: If you have no real virtue, I will teach you these talents, and I will harm you for life. Because these talents are likely to make you rich and famous in a short time, and this will be a dangerous period in your life. If you don't know how to be modest at this time, you will attract a lot of jealousy; If you don't know how to save and be thrifty in life, you may get into the habit of profligacy. So many people in the art world used to be very popular, but as a result, many people were poor in their later years. This is a luxury habit. So he accepted the teacher's words very deeply and was modest everywhere according to the teacher's teaching. He is only 33 years old. He won several awards and often volunteered to teach. I once asked him to help us write calligraphy in Haikou. He went for a whole week, but didn't take a penny, and brought a lot of brushes to our teacher in Haikou. Therefore, virtue is important, and virtue is the foundation of happiness. With this foundation, happiness can gain a foothold.
An official asked Lao Zi, "I have two sons. I don't know which one to rely on in the future. " "Lao tze took a handful of money on the table. Then he said to the official's eldest son, "As long as you hit your father, the money is yours. "The eldest son is silly, so he lowered his head and said," No, how can he hit his father? "He would rather die than follow. Then Lao Tzu said to the official's youngest son, "All you have to do is give your father a pat, and all the money is yours. "The youngest son is smart and quick-witted. He immediately went over to play well and soon put the money in his pocket. Lao Tzu said to the official: Now you know who you should rely on in your old age.
Later, in his later years, the official was really taken care of by his eldest son, and his younger son went to other places to do business. Finally, the official died, and the news of his death reached his younger son, who said, "I have to go back and forth for a while, and I don't know how much money I will earn." As a result, he did not even attend his father's funeral. Therefore, Lao Tzu is very wise. He can infer his intentions from his actions, because "those who value profits will despise righteousness". As long as there are people who conflict with his interests, he will definitely leave them alone, and he will definitely put his interests first. Therefore, most people may especially appreciate smart children, but it is often more honest children who take care of them in their later years.
There was once a mother who gave birth to three children. The eldest and the second graduated from college and the third from high school. Which son took care of her as a result? On the contrary, the more books you read, the more selfish you become, thinking only of yourself. We also see that many parents train their children to study abroad, but never come back to take care of their parents until they die, and often never come back. Some have married foreign wives, and their parents are going to visit far away. Even after living for a while, I am ready to leave, and my daughter-in-law will take out the bill. That really makes their parents feel sad. If I knew today, why not have a baby? Therefore, children's immorality will really annoy their parents, and it will really harm the family and society. Therefore, it is necessary to educate children to have foresight and morality.
Specialized but not miscellaneous
When modern people ask questions about learning, they make a big taboo: greedy, thinking that more is good. Not necessarily, because too much will be chaotic. The Book of Rites teaches: "If you don't have grandchildren, you will be in chaos and you will not be repaired." Let children learn many things at once, without worrying about whether they have swallowed dates. In the end, it will definitely not learn well, and even make children feel that they don't want to learn anymore. You see, many children now learn three or four talents at the same time. What is the final outcome? Tired of learning. Therefore, learning things, learning problems and even seeking skills in the world should be specialized but not miscellaneous.
Teacher Yang has studied calligraphy for forty-one years. When he teaches calligraphy, the first point of the "eight-character method" must let the children point to thousands of points before they can learn the next stroke. Is calligraphy taught like this now? Many calligraphers say: "You only need to study for three months, and you can guarantee to win the prize." Let's leave now. Calm down! In what mood does he study art? Eager for success and profit. Calligraphy is a way to cultivate one's self-cultivation. If children learn utilitarianism from the beginning, it will definitely run counter to art, so we really need to give them correct guidance. In the art of calligraphy, children's patience and perseverance can be honed in this process. Children's basic skills can be solid, and a person's foundation will not be defeated if he develops again; If the foundation is not well laid, the faster it develops, the more dangerous it will be.
Therefore, in the process of learning calligraphy, Teacher Yang understands the structure of every word and looks neat. With this attitude, when dealing with things, she will also mention this observation ability and how to arrange things so as not to be chaotic. In writing calligraphy, her determination has been achieved. When her concentration is reached, she can deal with people and things in an orderly way. Therefore, the ultimate goal of studying art is to improve moral cultivation. Confucius said that "Tao is the aim, virtue is the basis, benevolence is the basis, and art is the tour", and the tour of art is also inseparable from self-cultivation and cultivation of mind. So when Miss Yang goes to learn other arts, such as Chinese painting and seal cutting, because she has a high sensitivity to art in calligraphy, she learns other arts much faster than others, even computers, because she has developed perseverance and endurance. We young people feel relatively pale with her.
Sheng Amethyst said: "The way to teach is to become an expert", teaching and learning are the same thing, teaching and learning, "the way to learn is to become an expert". Because I learned miscellaneous things, my heart was scattered. Any wisdom and talent in the world emphasizes understanding. After you have accumulated some knowledge and common sense, it depends on others' understanding. For example, if you study Chinese medicine, if you have no understanding, you just take the exam. Real patients will show you that you are afraid of prescribing the wrong medicine. And understanding comes from concentration, from kindness and empathy. Only by improving these inner and spiritual efforts can you improve them.
So learn art, don't learn a lot at the same time. Talent achievement is like digging a well. When a well is dug to the bottom, water comes out. Moreover, the water in this well is connected with the water in any area, so it will be easier to learn one artistic ability if you learn other artistic abilities. Therefore, if children want to learn talents well, they must first be rooted in virtue. If a person is very talented and immoral, he may be killed by his own talent in his life.
Children who learn more complain more.
I heard that some parents take their children to school now, learning English, computers, dancing and playing chess every day. Children can't breathe when they are full every day. So we found a phenomenon in teaching: students are afraid of having a holiday. Why are you afraid of having a holiday? Because holidays are more tiring and fulfilling than attending classes at school; At school, teachers are amiable and students can catch their breath. There was once a girl who was named after learning the piano. The reporter asked her, "You won such a big prize. What do you want to do most now? " ? As a result, the girl said, "I want to smash my piano most." Therefore, in order to be intellectual fans, parents only see that the child has a name, but they can't see what her inner state is. Parents are blocked by vanity desires and simply can't feel the direction of their children's hearts. Therefore, the life of such children is forced to breathe, and they have resentment against their parents.
When a child bears a grudge against his parents, can he be happy even if he has more talents and higher education? No Many parents will still say, "But you still have to be educated and talented. In fact, it is not difficult for a person to learn these things with filial piety. The development of our whole society is really due to the people of my father's generation, who are also very talented and study everything conscientiously and practically. They have achieved so much because of their filial piety and kindness. Now, our generation has learned a lot of talents. What can we create? So it still depends on the child's heart. Let children establish many important mentality: filial piety, love and a responsible heart. Are children responsible enough now? At home, if children turn a blind eye to everything at home, can we expect children to achieve something in the future? That's really daydreaming. Which successful person is not responsible? Therefore, responsibility must be cultivated.
A mother took her children to see a so-called "Fly" movie. He is good at homework, math and piano. The mother saw that he had so many abilities and happened to know his mother very well, so she took her children to learn from him. As a result, when they arrived at their home, as soon as they sat down, the child said, "My math teacher is very stupid. He is doing math. I have worked it out, but he hasn't. Then: "My piano teacher is very incompetent. Every time he asks me to play in class, he can't play. He doesn't play. " The mother was so frightened when she heard these words from this high-flying leaflet that she quickly left and took her children back.
The child is very talented, but where is his brain? I am arrogant. To tell the truth, in the whole process of our growth, my father never praised our talents in person, but influenced us with virtue. Why? At the beginning of life, nature is good, and parents' virtue naturally touches their children, and their children follow suit. People's kindness is not praised, but moved by the performance of their parents and elders. Therefore, education is not a fluke, it must be an upward effect. From the sentence "Don't run amok again", we should reflect on whether children have the correct attitude towards life for their own success or failure.
The essence of education lies in filial piety.
There was a seven-year-old child who studied Disciples Rules for more than a month. The teacher organized an activity for everyone to share their experiences after learning. Many parents are here, and the mother of the seven-year-old boy is sitting happily at the bottom. The first sentence the little boy said when he came to the stage was: "I learned the disciple's rules before I knew that I should be filial!" This sentence is worth pondering. When we blame others, we often say, "You are too old to understand this truth!" " I really don't understand, because "people don't learn, they don't know; People don't learn and don't know righteousness. " Not only can we not blame them, but we should tolerate and forgive them. We should guide them with love and achieve a rare fate in this life. The child finished the first sentence and then said, "Before I learned Disciple Rules, I thought about how to murder my parents every day." Seven-year-olds! His mother was shocked when she heard this sentence, and then burst into tears. It is hard for her to imagine that it came from her child's mouth.
Why are parents so surprised? Because my mind only focuses on my child's grades, my eyes only look at many talents that my child has learned. If you learn something, you can go out and take part in the competition. Many children whose parents are proud of may have many complaints about their parents. Because his parents forced him to live a very tight life, sometimes he was almost out of breath, and his parents ignored the family and happy atmosphere. When parents keep forcing their children to learn this and that, he will learn a lot and feel very upset. In the process of children's growth, when children need comfort and guidance, and parents are not around, the "pro" of "father and son are close" will gradually alienate and produce resentment.
Educating children should start from the roots. When we start from filial piety and morality, it is possible for children to learn for life and let them run family businesses and careers in the future. Indeed, let's think calmly. Virtue is the foundation of the real development of life, school, family business and career. Without good moral character and respect for teachers, there can be no real learning; Without virtue, you can't set a good example for the next generation, and then the family will be in a mess. Would we rather immerse ourselves in the joy that the child is a doctor and push him to the road of divorce and family breakdown in the future?
The divorce rate is very high now. Who has the highest divorce rate? These figures deserve our calm thinking. At present, there are many patients with depression, and the suicide rate is high, which reveals that many people only pursue external vanity, have no real internal mental health and no real virtue. We absolutely don't want to see these situations in the children's later life. When a child has virtue, he knows how to look at people and choose a good partner. Without virtue, I want to marry a beautiful girl when I see her, but we can't blame her because we didn't teach her.
From an early age, we thought that learning a lot of things would make us capable. In fact, as long as you pay attention to patients with depression, you will find that many of them read a lot of books and then confuse their thoughts. In this era, there are too few people who know. Now, children are sent to learn dancing, singing and many other things. The University said, "If you know the order, you will find a shortcut". Where is the order of educating children? In this era, if you don't calm down, you must put the cart before the horse.
Now the cart before the horse is everywhere. I remember when I was a child, my mother always said, "Go and ask grandpa to eat." I ran out of our house and began to think about what day it is today and where grandpa is most likely to appear. Then run over and call "grandpa has dinner"! When I said "Grandpa ate", not only one person laughed, but everyone who heard it laughed. Why? Grandson invited grandpa to dinner, which is a family happiness and a virtue. When virtue is revealed, everyone will be happy to see it, because everyone has a kind and virtuous heart. Now it's grandparents who chase them out and ask their grandchildren to eat them. Is it upside down? This is upside down. Therefore, even if filial piety is not tied up, even if he is highly educated and gifted, it is impossible to make his parents happy, let alone run a happy life. Therefore, educating children should be profound.
Today, we want our children to have a healthy attitude towards life. The most important thing is to have the right ideas first, and to teach children is to teach themselves first. The word filial piety, we should not only regard it as filial piety in the relationship between father and son, its significance is very far-reaching, it has no beginning in the past and will not end in the future. Therefore, every thought we have now affects our children and grandchildren. When we have this attitude, we will be very cautious about our own thoughts and dare not indulge our wrong thoughts again. We should have such vigilance.
Being a man is more important.
There are a group of children in their twenties. Some of them were admitted to quite good universities, but they let go. They think that university study is knowledge and being a man is more important. They learn to be human first, and then learn knowledge and talent. Their ambition is also to "learn from the past and create peace for future generations." Their parents are also very supportive, so they come to study with us. Because they all study actively, the teachers who teach them also feel that they are "the best in the world and teach them", so the teachers are also happy to teach. Fifty-eight students went to the hospital for physical examination that day. When they arrived at the hospital, they lined up neatly, everyone was wearing a Tang suit, and then went upstairs in an orderly way. Because the footsteps were light and they didn't speak, everyone was curious when they saw this group of young people along the way, as if they were watching a landscape.
When these children went upstairs and sat down, someone came up to the teacher and said, "Are you children from the school for the deaf?" ? "He saw that young people now go to public places not shouting or joking. How can there be such a neat young man? As a result, all the students laughed when he asked. This era is very reversed. The abnormal becomes normal, and the normal becomes abnormal. It is normal for young people to be polite and not noisy, but now they think there is something wrong with young people who don't make noise.
Correct yourself and reform others.
There is a school's academic director, who also came to our five-day course. In those five days, he copied more notes than he wrote in four years of college. After returning, he found three teachers with educational mission. Three teachers went to Shanghai for five days. Results After class, a teacher came on stage to share his learning experience. He said: "I realized that the most important thing to teach students well is to start from myself. He has such understanding that we all think his students are blessed. So after these three teachers came back, they all began to talk about Disciples Rules in their own classes. He started from himself, so all three classes had long-term educational communication with their parents and participated in the Disciple Rules class. The students in these three classes are very sensible and polite.
The headmaster thought it was a good way to teach students, and agreed, so he gave an order: all schools should learn the Disciples Rules. The headmaster is very enterprising. Even in the first grade of primary school, they have to learn English. Is it important to learn English or virtue? Do children who have learned a lot of talents from childhood necessarily achieve something? I often learn miscellaneous things, and my brain is in a mess. And when a person can't deeply understand the culture behind his own words, what criteria can he use to understand other people's cultures? So this is the danger of our next generation. If they don't know their own culture, etiquette, justice and wisdom, and learn a lot of English at once, and sing that English song, he will accept all the western practices and can't tell the good from the bad. They will absorb all acts that kill thieves, commit adultery and make people look ugly, because they have no cultural basis to distinguish right from wrong, good from evil, and good from evil. It seems a good thing that we let our children learn English earlier. In fact, we have long let bad culture pollute children's hearts, and we don't know it. Really, you can't put a moth to the fire. You must learn your own culture and your own language first, and then you can learn other people's languages and cultures well. It may not work soon.
The headmaster said: Take away the English class and start with Disciples Rules. A leader with such determination is the blessing of all the students. The headmaster's husband read the newspaper one day and saw a professor say, "Disciple Rules" can't be read. "Disciple Rules" has dross and ignorance. After reading this article, her husband said to the headmistress, "You should pay attention. Look, people are criticizing. If you continue to teach the disciples the rules like this, you may go the wrong way, and then your work will be lost. As a result, the headmistress said, "He has his opinion and I have my responsibility. I am responsible for the student's life, not for his six or several years. Then she said to her husband, "Next to junior high school, after the winter and summer vacations, I will see how many students have abortions. Can I teach them virtue? " Can I put my students on that road? These facts are before us. We haven't taught our children virtue yet. What are we forcing them to do? It's all about instilling knowledge. Their life is very restless, and there is no warmth or love in their hearts. He mistakenly thought that desire was love, so he suddenly degenerated and ran away from home. 」
When the headmistress finished this speech, her husband was in awe of her and said to her, "I think you are very suitable to be the leader of the country." At that time, Hong Kong educational circles sent a delegation to the Mainland to study, hoping to absorb the experience of some good schools. The whole province of Guangdong recommended this school for them to visit, because their school education is based on filial piety, so it is quite effective. This academic director, this principal, starts from himself, starts from the class and starts from his own school; Now through the school's achievements, the whole province and even other parts of Hong Kong can communicate with him. Therefore, self-cultivation, governing the country and leveling the world can all start from the present self.
Later, they went to participate in off-campus teaching and took students out. After the tour, the tour bus was clean and tidy. After the result came back, the travel agency published an article: "I have been a travel agency for so long, and I have never seen a school student so polite. I will pick up scraps of paper along the way to keep the whole environment clean." 」
Therefore, Ji Zheng will certainly be able to influence people. We really want to benefit this society, don't worry, starting from my heart, starting from my home, starting from my community, and then starting from my county; Again, start from our province and look around the world. People should have this kind of mind and ambition, so that life will not come in vain and there will be no regrets.