The pattern is as big as the mentality is.
The pattern is as big as the mentality is. This is a very philosophical saying. I often hear this sentence: mentality determines the pattern, pattern determines life! If a person has no pattern, all he sees is trivial matters. Therefore, the pattern will be as big as the mentality. This is the truth. The pattern is as big as the mentality is 1
Some people say: "The pattern is actually set by yourself. When you really start to do something, you will realize that there is no direction or boundary, and you are just wandering in time. A leaf of duckweed in the torrent, drifting with the current."
The world is a sea, and we are a leaf of duckweed and a wave. You can't magnify your body, but you can magnify your heart. The stronger your heart and the broader your mind, the bigger the picture will be. Only those who have a big picture can achieve great things.
"Attitude determines destiny." If you want to change your destiny, you must start by changing your mentality. People who are in a bad mood will not be successful. People who really have a big picture have the following mentality.
1. The mentality of "not changing others" and respecting other people's ideas.
Recently, many elderly people in the community have gone to the University for the Elderly. Everyone gathers together to dance, sing, learn calligraphy, play the piano, and organize some meaningful charity activities. I encouraged my mother to participate. The tuition was not expensive anyway, only a few hundred yuan a year. My mother refused: "I am just a farmer. I have never studied for a few days in my life. There is no need to go to college now."
At first, I thought my mother was too stubborn and had nothing to do at home every day. If you don't go to a senior college, you will really get sick. But later, I figured out that my mother is my mother, not someone else’s mother. Her thoughts do not have to be exactly the same as others, and her words and deeds do not need to be the same as others. If my mother went to the Senior College every day, danced, and sang, she would not be my mother, and she would be assimilated by the people around her.
Everyone is unique, why should we live like someone else? The people around you are also different from you. You just can't stand it. Talking about it every day will only cause conflicts and will not really change. When you want to change others, you have already entered the dead end of "interpersonal relationships" and will look down on everyone.
Everyone’s experience is different, and forcing others to change is actually the stupidest idea. People who really have a big picture will not want to change others, but respect other people's ideas; they will not look at others as unpleasant, but will look at others as pleasing to their eyes. There is really no need to let other people's words and deeds hinder your eyes and disturb your heart.
2. A "forgiving yourself" mentality does not pursue perfection.
When you forgive others, you will feel better. If you can also forgive yourself, then you will feel better. Everyone is not perfect and has many shortcomings, and even more shortcomings than advantages.
If a person always pursues perfection, he will become less and less perfect, because when you look at yourself, you will become less and less pleasing to the eye. For example, if you go for morning exercise in the morning and find that the people around you have healthy skin color and are walking fast, but you yourself have a bad skin color and your running speed is very slow, you will dislike yourself and force yourself to speed up. You run faster and faster, but you become increasingly unhappy and look uglier.
A truly perfect person is one who underestimates his imperfections and treats his bad aspects as a habit. If your shortcoming does not do anything harmful to nature or harm others, then the shortcoming is "harmless". For example, you like to go to bed very late, and you know that staying up late is harmful to your body, but if you go to bed too early, you will be unable to sleep and have random thoughts. Then just insist on going to bed late. As long as you get used to this lifestyle, it will be fine.
People with a big picture are not only tolerant of others, but also tolerant of themselves. Only by being a person with a heart as broad as the sea can you accept everything in the world and accept all things that cannot be changed. Many times, acceptance is much easier than change, but many people are just unwilling to accept the facts.
3. With the mentality of "silence is golden", one would rather not speak than talk nonsense.
Zhai Hongshen said: "The orientation of life must be high. If the pattern is not high and you cannot speak elegant words, you cannot achieve great things." A person with a big pattern will either speak elegant words or not speak. It is better to say less than to say more. Talk less and stay out of trouble.
A silent person does not pretend to be deep, but has learned to observe carefully and observe everything around him with his heart. He sees through it but does not speak out. Everything is under control. No matter how messy the society is, I have a clear idea. Just like Mr. Feng Zikai said - don't be distracted by your heart, don't be trapped by your emotions. Don't be afraid of the future and don't dwell on the past.
The bigger a person's status is, the less he likes to boast and brag. Speaking is instinct, not speaking is ability, silence is wisdom. If you always speak loudly, it will be annoying, reveal everything about yourself, and give others an opportunity to take advantage of you. A person is always eager to publish his "high opinions" because he can't handle things in his heart and can't calm down and think.
4. With a "take things as they come" mentality, you will never lose your good mood no matter you are in adversity or good times.
Life is inherently an adverse journey. We often wish others "bon voyage and smooth sailing", which is just a blessing and should not be taken too seriously. You are traveling with the wind, but the person traveling in the opposite direction is traveling against the wind. If both directions are tailwind, you are "making trouble" for the freedom of the wind.
Whether a person is in good times or bad times is relative, not absolute. For example, if you lose a pen today, you will be very unhappy, and you may even spend a whole day looking for the pen. Not only will you waste time, but you will also be emotional. Smart people don't look for pens hard, but buy a pen and quickly get into work. Maybe the lost pen will suddenly appear one day in the future.
There is no big deal in life. "Soldiers will stop you, water will cover you." All problems will be solved easily. The key is what kind of mentality you use to "solve problems". Some difficult problems are very difficult. If you must get the answer immediately, you will be troubled. You have to know that many difficult problems will take a lifetime to solve. You really shouldn’t “rush for success.”
5. The mentality of "not wanting to be in a group". If you don't have suitable friends, you will be alone.
If someone doesn’t belong to your circle, don’t force yourself to be involved. "Strong melons are not sweet." Useless social interaction is not as good as being alone. The fewer circles you have in your life, the more time you have. Don't waste your time on others. Spend some time thinking about life and looking at yourself.
In fact, the circle you join is a "portrait" of your life; the friends you make subtly change you; your position determines the size of your circle. It doesn't matter if you don't join any circles, because you are you, unique and special.
When you become an excellent person, others will reject you and make you an "isolated" person. If you are good enough, others will fawn over you and make you a "crowd". Stars holding the moon" look. If you have a big structure, you won't care about "whether there is someone to curry favor with". The path of life, past, present, and future, is all up to you to walk step by step.
There is a word called "eclectic". The trivial matters in life are often a "circle", which limits your thinking and pattern. You need to break this "circle" and jump out of the circle to see the circle. Only then can you live more freely. The pattern is as big as the mentality 2
I remember a classic saying:
When you look down from the 80th floor, you will see beautiful scenery; but when you look down from the second floor , probably all garbage. If a person has no height, all he will see are problems; if a person has no structure, all he will see is trivial matters.
Mentality determines the pattern, and pattern determines life!
A person left a message for me and said that when he was in love before, it was because his own structure was too small and he often doubted and doubted the other party. The two parties often quarreled over trivial matters. Looking back now, , only to realize how naive I was at that time, and I even lost a good partner.
In life, you always need to experience something before you can understand the importance of cherishing. But people can't live in the past, people still have to look forward.
It is also a pattern for a person to re-examine himself and then correct some of his mistakes.
A good mentality can lead to a good pattern, and only those with a pattern determine the height of life.
There is a sentence in "Cai Gen Tan": "How much time does it take to compete with each other in the light of stone and fire? How much time does it take to compare females and males on the horns of snails?"
Life is like using The fire that occurs when an iron tool hits a stone is as fleeting as the light. If you only know how to fight with each other blindly, you will not know that time has passed. Life is short, and the space for survival is as small as a snail's tentacles. How can you be so competitive in such a small world?
Life in this world is just a drop in the ocean. Tolerating others is tolerant to oneself. To be convenient to others is to be convenient to oneself. To help others is to help oneself.
What is pattern? It is how you view the world and yourself. It is a person's vision of things and his mind in dealing with things. It is a person's mind.
What would a structured life look like?
A person with a pattern is not arrogant when he is successful in life, nor is he discouraged when he is frustrated in life. He smiles at the ups and downs of the world and treats the ups and downs of life optimistically. This is the pattern. .
There was a man who was in the middle of the rankings in his youth. He was originally a high-ranking official and well-paid. However, when he reached middle age, he went through many twists and turns. Not only was he separated from his family, but his life was also in chaos.
Even though he was in the wilderness, he always cared about the court and the people, and he lived stronger than anyone else.
This person is Su Shi. After being demoted several times, he had already looked away, so wherever he went, he would eat wherever he went. Even if his official career was not going well, he could not let his mood be unhappy. He should give himself the opportunity to travel everywhere. Wherever you go, feel the local customs and customs, and then look for local delicacies to please yourself.
Therefore, his mentality is open-minded and he cannot ruin himself because of his unsatisfactory career. People who can think this way can see that the pattern is really good.
Su Shi was not only a poet, but also a gourmet. His poems were famous all over the world, and his food was also passed down.
Although he experienced hardships in his official career and was demoted many times, he did not sink due to frustration. No matter how low he is reduced to, he lives a more handsome life than others.
Everywhere he went, he made friends with the people, performed his duties for the people, and made commendable achievements.
No matter how many setbacks he experienced in his life, he always faced it all with a calm, free and open-minded attitude. He spent his life like a breeze. Although he suffered many sorrows, he never stopped. Lost your innocent heart.
Why not scream and walk slowly? The bamboo stick and mango shoes are lighter than the horse, and you can live your whole life in the misty rain. Su Shi was calm, calm and comfortable. He did not make fun of the embarrassed fellow travelers, nor did he express his joy that the rain had passed and the sky had cleared up. Instead, he said, "There is neither wind or rain nor sunshine." Instead, we think that rain is accidental. Even if we are traveling together, it does not necessarily fall on someone. Instead, we regard it as an encounter, which is the joy of life.
In the miserable state of life, everyone is constantly pursuing the beautiful state that will appear in the future, but after the beautiful state arrives, it turns into a miserable state again, and this cycle never ends.
Only those with a good mentality and structure can achieve an immortal life.
Zeng Guofan often admonished himself with a sentence: "Always think about the prosperous times and the bad times, and think about the bad times when you are on the field."
He believes that a person with a pattern should have a low-key No matter how great your achievements are or how high your official position is, you must keep a low profile, don't be ostentatious, and don't show off. Only by being low-key can you maintain your true nature and make your life more stable and farther.
In life, how many people have achieved something but then lost it, without any restraint, so they quickly give back what they got.
In life, you must not only correct your mentality, but also cultivate your own pattern of life and the world. Only by how far can a person go.
A person with a pattern should have a far-sighted vision and should not be complacent because of temporary success, let alone give up escaping because of temporary frustration. Only with a high mind can you withstand temptation, see gains and losses clearly, and achieve everything that follows.
The sea is wide enough for fish to leap, and the sky is high enough for birds to fly.
The vast pattern of sea and sky blends into the wonders of the human world. There is height in life, and you can show your plumpness. If you have an open mind, you will be able to plan for the overall situation.
The mind determines the pattern, and the pattern determines life. The bigger the picture in life, the higher the ambition and sail.