Growing up, he seems to have always been an ordinary person. Learning is mediocre, singing is tone-deaf, piano, painting and dancing have no talent that can be achieved. In most cases, basketball, badminton and games always lose more and win less. Although he is ambitious, his qualifications are average. I have been working hard and have achieved nothing. He received little positive praise. When he feels depressed and desperate, he always likes to look up at the moon in the sky. Although the steps are small, I never want to give up.
Many times, he wants to go back to the past. For example, I knew the importance of reading from the beginning, studied hard, and then went to a good university; Learning guitar is still talented, and there are good things; Try to stand on a crowded stage and don't be nervous when you speak; Stick to your hobbies, don't always be introverted and avoid interpersonal communication; Summon up the courage to confess to the girl he loves ... later he realized that life always has gains and losses, and there will never be perfect people and things. Shortcomings are characteristics, and he began to accept his mediocrity and the shortcomings of life. Don't cling to your mistakes, and start to accept your flawed self. His heart is quiet enough to hear echoes, and he can stare at the distance all day. For example, a cloud outside the window, a line in the article, the moon flowing in the street and river at night … these details are enough to attract his attention, but he has not been dynamic for a long time.
I don't know when it started, but he gradually lost his desire to share. He hasn't changed his social avatar for several years, and he has little or no circle of friends. For example, when he sees a favorite scene, he will only take it away silently and have an album; If you buy something you like, you will only enjoy it alone. Even if there is some achievement, it will not be obvious. Because he knows that there is no empathy in this world, jealousy is always more than joy, and he can't get feedback, and he wants him to escape every time. He would rather listen more than say more. Even if misunderstood, I may have thought about defending myself before.
Now he will only feel that it is good to go together for a while if they get along, and to separate if they don't. He has his own values and norms, and respects everyone's three views and choices. I won't change myself because of a joke or a suspicious look from others. I won't deny others easily because I don't like it. For people he hates, he will only keep his distance silently, avoid them, and never step on others behind his back. On many formal occasions, he won't back down. On the contrary, he will stand up straight and face the problem directly, because he thinks this is the greatest respect for others. He knows the boundaries of interpersonal relationships and treats people easily and fairly. Although emotion is far from exclusive, it also has an insurmountable bottom line. For example, you should pay attention to discretion when interacting with the opposite sex, and refuse to be ambiguous about the girl you like. When a friend is in trouble, he will help selflessly, but the other person always gossips behind his back, and he will fight back regardless of the pain. When dealing with girls, he is free and won't pretend to be a gentleman. Facing love and sex, you will not deliberately hide your lsp attributes. He will also praise those girls who are beautiful and in good shape. More affectionate than you think and more ruthless than you think. I know he is not an active person. He doesn't want to give others trouble, and he doesn't want others to give him trouble. Although he is always polite, he always takes care of everyone's emotions and seems to have a surprisingly good temper. But I know he hates showing off in his bones and doesn't want to compete with anyone. He is a unique person. He never fits in with others. He has his own identity. For example, when he was in college, he seldom participated in student club activities, and he hated many formalistic jobs.
He doesn't like being directed meaningless, and he doesn't want to lose himself in the group. He advocates the independence and freedom of the soul. Actually, he knows exactly what he wants. For example, when everyone is sleeping, playing games, going to the library and falling in love on weekends, he may ride a bicycle to surf the beach alone and watch the orange sunset on the Binjiang Expressway. Some sea breeze, carrying water vapor through his cheeks. When you step on the shallows, the sea recedes to your ankles. He likes to listen to the sound of the sea splashing quietly. He often tells me that he is lucky to meet someone who knows him, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't. Because he has his own independent world and some romantic persistence. Such as curiosity, curiosity and exploration of the world, and thirst for endless knowledge. Understand through reading, express through words, especially anger at dark things. He likes something, not to show it to others and get recognition, but simply for fun and interest. He also has childlike innocence and kindness in his bones. For example, when I meet a little fat cat on the road, he always meows at her; Wechat doesn't chat with people much, but the most is hahahahahahaha; Always bow your head, with the takeaway brother, with the courier, with the doorman.
He never felt how powerful he was, but his heart was broad and he was happy to be alone. Slow, stubborn, silent, strong in the eyes of outsiders. Forbearance, hesitation, acceptance, light wind and light clouds on the face. It's not that I don't care about others, but I have a self-consistent emotional system, and my sense of demand and expectation for others is very low. He understands and accepts the complexity of human nature, and faces life with a normal heart, unwilling to regard any kind of emotion as dependence. Talk to the stars, interview the old man, shake hands with every tree and whisper to every grass. He loves all the beauty in the world.