The sun descends from the Western Mountain,
The shadows and lights are bright at night!
I miss my hometown day and night,
I finally wake up from the dream of returning home!
Please forgive me for greatly modifying your masterpiece.
Because: the words ¨Luo¨ and the word ¨下¨ below repeat the action, and the candlelight in the world does not show the night scene very much. How can we ¨climb high¨ at night? Therefore, we changed to ¨日夜¨ to express our nostalgia for our hometown! The last sentence should be easy to understand and make people understand the purpose and center of your poem at a glance. It should read smoothly and catchy like a song! Can this be changed?