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I have been away from my hometown for 60 years, but even if it is a deep foreign country, I don't think it is my hometown, and I don't think it is my hometown after a long time. As a wanderer born in 1980s, I always feel that I still live in the mountains, rivers, grass and trees of my hometown.
I can count the number of times I went back to my hometown, but the tears came back and flowed away. Although I haven't had any relatives in my hometown for a long time, my great-grandfather, great-grandmother, grandparents and parents still stay in my hometown. Every time I think of this place, I have a lot of thoughts in my heart, and I have been looking up at the cloud in the south for a long time. I was born and raised in a small mountain village.
According to my grandpa, I have never met him. He was carrying pots and pans at one end and the burden of worn-out clothes at the other, followed by Tainai with little feet, leading him through mountains and rivers and begging all the way. I can't remember how many days and nights he walked. A group of three people fled from Shandong to Changbai Mountain and settled in my hometown with the people traveling eastward. From then on, grandpa, grandma and grandpa can eat "sweet potato and big horn melon" to survive. From then on, they became wanderers in Shandong, so they left their ancestors in their hometown "Hainan hometown". On New Year's Day, they buy fragrant paper, walk into the Lantern Festival, burn paper money, light incense, watch sacrifices in the south sky, then kneel down with tears and kowtow deeply for three times. Did they talk to themselves or did Grandpa and Tynan say, "Who will give them some more paper and incense?" As he spoke, tears rolled down the deep wrinkles on the faces of the two old people-grandpa spoke in a few words, but his tone was deep and sad. I can't help watching my grandfather drag his tired and heavy legs into the mountains step by step. I cried when I saw my missing relatives. Grandpa told me several times, don't forget your hometown, don't forget your ancestors. I'll go back and see if I can recognize a few words, but it's useless. Every time I think about it, I feel distressed for a while, because I can't go back, and I can't see or find my ancestral grave in Shandong. But every time I go back to my hometown, I can find the graves of my great-grandfather, grandmother, grandparents and parents, because there is a stone in front of my parents' grave, which I can always remember in my heart. At the same time, I also want to, in the future, can they be like the ancestral graves in Shandong, where no one burns a piece of paper to burn incense and disappear into the land of their hometown?
At that time, I heard that this is a land of feng shui and has the spirit of a king. According to legend, if you buried an egg in this field the night before, you can hatch a chirping chicken the next morning. If a dry wicker is inserted, green leaves will sprout the next morning. Therefore, whether the people in the village died or the people in Shiliba Village died, they were all buried in this vibrant acupoint, so that future generations could become officials and prosper. Autumn leaves fall and grass fall, and there are graves next to each other everywhere, so it is difficult to squeeze in. At that time, ordinary people couldn't afford a monument, so they nailed a wooden sign or put a stone as a sign. In Tomb-Sweeping Day, Shangyuan Festival, Zhongyuan Festival and Xiayuan Festival, on the deserted mountain roads that few people pass through all the year round, people who leave the graves in a hurry are in an endless stream. Every family decorated the graves decently, and the scene was lively. In addition to burning paper money, wealthy families will also burn paper horses and set off a string of earth-shattering firecrackers to satisfy their filial piety as children. These are deeply imprinted in the memory of my teenager.
This autumn, at the age of eighty, I went back to my hometown to nurse my grandparents and parents. Accompanied by my neighbor's eldest brother who is two years older than me, I crossed the river and went to Pinggang. At first glance, I saw my protruding ancestral grave, which was very eye-catching, but it was also covered with weeds and shrubs, but it was only the result of adding soil to the grave every time I went back to my hometown. Today, after renovation, the ancestral grave was rediscovered, adding a thick layer of new soil, and my heart was comforted. If summer comes, it is not easy to find it among the lush vegetation. I sat in front of the grave and felt particularly cordial because I returned to my relatives.
The neighbor's eldest brother said, "You haven't forgotten the cemetery 60 or 70 years ago, have you?" I said, "How can I forget?" The neighbor's eldest brother went on to say, "You see, today, many people have moved away, and many people have no descendants. These people's graves are unattended. The collapsed coffin was exposed and the bones were photographed by the sun and the moon. Few helmet graves can see the earthen bag, that is, your ancestral grave stands here. " He shook his head helplessly. Looking around, this large cemetery is covered with sad weeds and dense shrubs and trees. There is no sun or moon, and it is silent, gloomy and desolate. The fiery atmosphere has just passed. No way, my heart was sour: "Do you know the dead? Is the tomb built for the sake of the child's reputation or to satisfy the filial piety of being a child? " Natural flow from the heart: "Is it useful to build a grave?" Sound. My neighbor's eldest brother looked at me and struggled to squeeze out a silent and sad smile from the deep and dense wrinkles on his face.
The days of late autumn are very short, so I don't think the days have gone west. I just light incense in front of the grave and put new burning paper in front of the grave. This is the only way to express my mind. At first glance, the tomb looks good. To outsiders, there are at least descendants. However, while doing this, I think I also said to myself, "Is it useful?" Neighbor eldest brother also shook his head. I thought, "It's no use, what are you doing?" Is it because a grave has been built? "Then, I knelt down devoutly, knocked three heads affectionately, and said to myself," Ancestor, I came back to see you. " Tears welled up in my heart. My child knelt down silently and knocked his head three times. When he looked up, his face was covered with bright tears. I suddenly realized: "Missing the dead is the soul of the living, and the bones buried in the ground are lifeless relics. "
The setting sun penetrates the forest, scattering sunlight on the grave, and the grave moves with the light and shadow. A gust of autumn wind blew the dead leaves in the cemetery, rustling and swaying bare branches. Two western Western jackdaw flew from under a thin gray cloud in the northeast sky, making hoarse cries of "Ah-""Ah-"and "Ah-",and flew from the cemetery to the faint red cloud in the southwest sky, adding life to the lonely cemetery and making it more solemn.
At this point, my will has been written in my stomach: "When I die, I will not build a tomb or erect a monument, but only scatter my ashes in the mountains and rivers." My children think that I deserve to be remembered and remembered, and they also think that I have a soul, so they light incense at the water's edge or at the foot of the mountain and burn a pile of burning paper to comfort my soul and express your thoughts on me. If I really have a soul, I will go back to my hometown to be with my parents and never part. "
"Go home." I said. Neighbor eldest brother nodded. I took one last look back at my ancestors. Suddenly, a sobbing and trembling voice echoed in the grave: "Great grandfather is too timid, grandparents, parents, I will never come back ..."