0 1.
When everyone opens their eyes, the first thing they see is their parents.
Life is a process of tempering, and it will go through ups and downs.
For better or worse, it is our parents who give us a chance to feel the world.
Our parents gave birth to us and raised us.
The love of parents is the greatest love.
In life, only our parents can pay for us without expecting anything in return.
Filial piety first
Filial piety is our traditional virtue.
However, many parents don't expect their children to repay them with anything substantial. They just want their children to be safe and happy.
This is what they think is the best filial piety.
Every parent loves their children, but even so, not all families can be happy.
Nowadays, the divorce rate is rising. Unlike in the past, divorce is a very rare thing.
However, Fan Xiao still firmly believes that every pair of parents entered the marriage hall with beautiful dreams when they were young.
No couple wants a divorce when they are in love.
02.
Children are the crystallization of husband and wife and the bond between men and women. Therefore, the biggest victims of marriage breakdown are often children.
After all, any child's growth is inseparable from the care of his parents.
Fatherly love and maternal love are indispensable.
Divorce for children means that the love of both parties will be lost.
The collapse of parents' emotions puts children in a dilemma, especially for immature children, which will do more harm to their young hearts.
The harm of divorce to children is not only reflected in the mind, but also affects the quality of life of children throughout their lives.
The remarriage of parents makes children have to face the complicated relationship in the combined family.
After all, the new stepmother and stepfather are unrelated outsiders to the children, and the children will instinctively guard against conflicts and even fears.
Especially when children are immature and emotional, it is easy to lead to disharmony in the combined family.
If both remarried couples have children, or parents and remarried partners have another child, the relationship will be more complicated for children.
It is not only difficult to coordinate the relationship in daily life, but also affects the core interests of children, such as the inheritance of family wealth and the distribution of interests. ...
03.
When parents remarry, it doesn't mean that they no longer love their children.
But what is certain is that the merged family will always leave the next generation limited, and the wealth left to the children will definitely be less than that of the normal family.
Today is an era of freedom of marriage. Marriage, divorce and remarriage are all personal choices.
However, if the interests of the children are taken into account, if the two already have children, divorce should be cautious;
Be more careful whether you remarry after divorce.
After all, the influence of combined families on children is far greater than imagination.
In reality, a few parents choose not to get married after divorce.
Some sensible children will also actively persuade their parents to pursue happiness, but they are still very cautious about remarriage.
Because these parents don't want another failed choice to hurt themselves and their children.
04.
Meng Jiao was a famous poet in the Tang Dynasty, and his works such as Ode to a Wanderer and Journey to the South Mountain are also regarded as masterpieces handed down from generation to generation today.
However, his Brave Woman Fuck is quite controversial.
It probably means:
Sycamore trees grow old, and mandarin ducks grow old in pairs.
The virtue of a woman's chastity is that she dies with her husband, and it is reasonable to lay down her life.
It seems that there is no wave in the ancient well, and it will always be loyal.
Obviously, this little poem praises a woman who insists on moral integrity and never marries after her husband dies.
Judging from our values today, "fuck a fierce woman" is really feudal dross.
Meng Jiao's admiration for widowhood also shows that he himself highly respects this feudal ethical code.
Although it is not excluded, in the old society, some women were widowed out of true love and nostalgia for their late husbands. Just as the first two sentences of the poem use the phoenix tree and Yuanyang as examples, it shows that everything in the world does have loyalty based on love, rather than being completely forced by ethics.
However, Meng Jiao's ultimate goal is to praise feudal values. After all, he only unilaterally emphasized the loyalty of women, but did not emphasize that emotionally, men are also loyal to each other.
So it is reasonable that this poem will be regarded as dross by many people now.
05.
Works can best reflect the author's thoughts and even convey a lot of information about the author's life experience.
Even a few short poems can help us understand the author's own values and living environment.
Meng Jiao lived in the Tang Dynasty.
During the long feudal period of more than two thousand years, the status of women in the Tang Dynasty was relatively high. (Of course, this "high status" was only within the scope of the feudal period. )
One of the important manifestations is that the Tang Dynasty allowed widows to remarry.
One of the most important manifestations of women's status is emotional freedom of choice.
In order to increase the population, the Tang Dynasty not only did not prohibit widows from remarrying, but even advocated remarriage to some extent.
Especially in the early Tang dynasty, after various wars and natural disasters in the late Sui and early Tang dynasties, the population dropped sharply.
Therefore, in order to increase the population, it is only necessary to make maximum use of women's fertility.
In the second year of Emperor Taizong's Zhenguan, imperial edicts encouraged men and women to remarry, which created conditions for the folk custom of freedom of marriage after the Tang Dynasty and laid the foundation for the improvement of women's status.
Wu Zetian is the only female emperor in the history of China. After she ascended the throne, the status of women has been greatly improved.
Especially for aristocratic women, marriage is more free, and the proportion of marrying a princess is very large.
The style of the aristocratic class has a strong demonstration role for the people. Therefore, folk women have also broken free from the shackles of ethics and morality, and are no longer biased against remarriage.
Although Meng Jiao was born in the Xuanzong period of the Tang Dynasty, the relatively free marriage custom has always existed throughout the Tang Dynasty.
So in such a period of relative tolerance for women (especially against widow remarriage), why should Meng Jiao praise those women who insist on being widowed and refuse to remarry?
This will start with his life experience.
06.
Meng Jiao was born in Wu Kang, Huzhou, and his father was a small official.
Originally, the family was harmonious and the small life was good, but unexpectedly, my father died young and all the peace and beauty were over.
All the burdens of life are on mother.
Mother attaches great importance to Meng Jiao's education, not only to support him, but also to provide him with schooling.
Meng Jiao failed in scientific research twice, but his mother still encouraged him to make persistent efforts.
Finally, in middle age, Meng Jiao became a scholar.
After becoming an official, he personally greeted his mother, and the mother and son reunited and wrote "Wandering Songs":
This poem is one of Meng Jiao's most famous works, and I believe many friends are familiar with it.
A kind mother is sewing clothes for her son who is going to travel far away with a needle and thread in her hand.
Before leaving, the mother sewed carefully and meticulously to prevent her son from coming back late and his clothes from being damaged.
Who says filial piety like grass can repay the kindness of a loving mother like Chunhui Puze?
Through this poem, Meng Jiao praised the greatness of maternal love and expressed his gratitude for the cultivation of his mother.
Through this poem, after we have a general understanding of Meng Jiao's life experience, it is not difficult to understand why he wrote the poem "Fuck a fierce woman".
He praised chastity because he was surrounded by a selfless mother who wholeheartedly refused to remarry for him.
Of course, the little Vatican also dare not speculate. Meng Jiao's mother didn't remarry, just for him, or maybe she never met the right person again.
However, after losing his father, his mother took on everything alone, and his contribution to cultivating talents is undeniable.
07.
We can imagine that if Meng Jiao's mother chooses to remarry, Meng Jiao's life is doomed to be another result.
In ancient times, the status of married women in the family was always subordinate to that of men, and Meng Mu was a married woman.
If you remarry, it means that many things are beyond Meng Mu's decision, and Meng Jiao is destined to live by her stepfather's face.
Stepfather is not related to himself, so he will not be completely selfish in interests.
If the stepfather marries another concubine and has his own flesh and blood, then Meng Jiao will definitely have no advantage in that combined family.
To say the least, even if Meng Mu remarried without concubinage or her own flesh and blood, as a second-married woman, the quality of remarriage was far less than that of the first marriage.
It is in today's era of advocating "equality between men and women" that the second-married women are not favored by many people in the marriage competition, let alone in the feudal society dominated by male power.
Although widows were allowed to remarry in the Tang Dynasty, it was difficult to guarantee the quality of remarriage of second-married women in the feudal period.
The decline in the quality of marriage will inevitably affect the life of the next generation. Therefore, there are still many widows who prefer to remain widowed rather than remarry.
If Meng Mu remarries, Meng Jiao will have to face a series of complicated problems brought by the combined family, and the relationship between husband and wife in the feudal period will be more complicated than the current combined family.
Therefore, in such an environment, it is difficult for Meng Jiao to succeed, and finally he can't be an official.
Of course, the most important thing is that if Meng Mu remarries, Meng Jiao may not inherit part of the property smoothly.
After Meng Fu left, there must be some property left.
Meng Jiao and his mother have been able to spend so many difficult years together. Apart from her selfless dedication, it must also be related to the property left by her father.
These properties can at least enable the mother and son to maintain the most basic livelihood.
But if Meng Mu remarries, it is doubtful whether these things can be preserved.
08.
As modern people, we can completely criticize and deny the values of female chastity praised in Brave Woman Fuck.
But through this poem, we should also see another meaning that the author wants to express, which is to praise selfless maternal love.
Moreover, this selflessness is not ordinary selflessness, but selflessness of "refusing to remarry for children".
Does not mean that remarried parents are not great. All parents in the world are great, and they can even sacrifice all their interests for their children.
Parents also have the right to pursue happiness. After all, when the real fate comes, it is unstoppable.
As children, we should understand the remarriage of parents.
But if parents don't remarry, then we should honor them, especially those parents who voluntarily refuse to remarry for their children.
As they grow older, they are destined to endure a lot of loneliness and desolation.
In order to prevent their children from being hurt again, and for the sake of their later life, they voluntarily gave up happiness, preferring to be alone and protecting the next generation.
So, as children, please accompany them for life!
-End-