Author: Yongming Zhai writing time:
Now is my truly powerful moment. Or I just realized the world around me and the significance of being in it now. The inner consciousness of an individual and the universe-I call it night consciousness-makes me destined to be the undertaker of women's thoughts, beliefs and emotions, and directly injects this commitment into what I regard as the most conscious effort. This is a poem.
As half of human beings, women have been facing a completely different world since birth. Her first look at the world is bound to bring her own emotions and impressions, and even some kind of private resistance. Does she try her best to project life to create a night: and transform the world into a huge soul in various crises? In fact, every woman is facing her own abyss-selfish pain and experience that is constantly disappearing and being recognized-far from everyone's ability to resist the suffering of this balance until it is destroyed. This is the first night. When it rises, it takes us into a brand-new world with a special layout and angle, which belongs only to women. This is not a process of salvation, but a process of understanding. Because a woman's ever-changing mind can accommodate everything in the ever-changing world, and at the same time show her most charming but never realized spirit. Therefore, the real strength of women lies in resisting the violence of their own destiny, obeying the truth called by the inner center, and establishing the consciousness of night between them.
After all, consciousness is a quality. A woman's body always hides an innate sense of destruction. It is this premonition that fills us with all kinds of possibilities and is finally brought into an irreversible fate. Because of this, when exploring her mythical world, the poetess is not only connected with the moment of birth, but also with the country of death. On this increasingly blurred dividing line, keeping the truth of the inner night is your sober understanding of yourself, and exploring the consciousness of the night through the painful enlightenment contained in nature is the real destruction of your cowardice. So someone once said to me, "The poetess's strongest opponent is herself." I totally believe it. For women, there is an ever-changing intuition between the individual and the night itself. We have maintained a mysterious relationship with the night since we were born. An invisible language that runs through our body and mind and is contained inside and outside our feelings hangs in it like a frozen cloud in a celestial body, and it also grows with our growth. For us, it is a dark and silently burning desire, and it is the first and last nature of human beings. It is it that condenses the feminine beauty of the whole world and finally becomes the fit of all life. It goes beyond our understanding of ourselves and communicates with another higher world. This most real and direct impulse itself embodies the power of poetry. We must have this discovery, create this process to compete with ourselves, and use this power to achieve a horrible light that gradually becomes clear in the dark.
In my opinion, women's literature has always contained three different trends. In the confession of more than one soul, people can see the lyrical sentimentality of femininity and undisguised feminism in turn. The former strings the loneliness, narcissism and longing for love of innocent women into fragmented emotions, while the latter just combs the language into a logically narrow concept and an act with the same cause and effect. The two seem to be quite different in their respective trends, but they both prove their insignificance in the sense of ordinary human nature. We must see that on this basis, only "female" literature is the highest level. After entering the common destiny of mankind, the true female consciousness, as well as the unique language and form conveyed by this consciousness, constitute the permanent power to enter the truly sacred place of poetry. It should be pointed out that most female poets have not yet realized their own strength. They either stay in an extremely narrow circle to amplify their personal feelings, or they are infiltrated by other people's thoughts and feelings and become imitations and replicas of some male poets without knowing or entering.
It is important that we face the fact-even if it is cruel and uncompromising. Understand your cruelty in lonely meditation. This cruelty is not imagined by people, but created by people. It is not easier to know this than to know a truth. Some people can grasp this glorious moment and sublimate all intuition with transcendental mysterious pleasure into experienced and recreated poems. Others have stood outside this world all their lives, content to deceive themselves and ready to rejoice at their fleeting surface discoveries. Therefore, among the three different levels of femininity-feminism-women, the latter is truly of literary value. We need to know this: the wisdom of poetry must be a kind of wisdom that rises from personal inner experience to beyond the truth that the poet was concentrating on at that time, and then enters the highest field; The poet's pursuit of art must be the pursuit of wisdom representing human beings, and mature women should grasp this to face everything.
I may not be a smart person, and I don't consider myself a typical woman, but I am my own typical. As a poet, some of my limitations are precisely my own characteristics. I am more keen to expand the simplest and most subtle feeling in my mind, which is what I think is "femininity". Some paranoia makes me pay too much attention to my heart. As an unfathomable mystery, the night separates me from the naked day to show its sensory motivation and sense of order. The consciousness of the night makes me peel off all kinds of experiences about myself, society and human beings to a purely cognitive level, which makes my will and character strength develop more abundantly and maturely in various opposing conflicts, and at the same time bravely reveals its truth. In this way, poetry, as a kind of suggestive power, flooded into my whole body, keeping my soul trembling, thus blending with other things outside myself. Standing in the blind heart of the night, my poem will follow my will to discover everything lurking in my body before its birth.
This is a great moment to echo the consciousness of mankind and the universe again. In the face of contemporary chaos and anxiety, how can a poetess deliberately establish her own dark night and provide a balanced order for poetry? If you are not a person confined to the status quo, you will always find the most appropriate language and form to express the night that must exist in everyone, and look for the only quiet light in the depths of the night.
1985 65438+1Chengdu on October 24th
1985 April 17 changed to Chengdu.