The "May Fourth" in 2020, as busy as "always on the road", made me seem to have forgotten my 36-year-old annual cycle and the reincarnation of my third zodiac year.
At the age of 36, according to the traditional saying of the Han people: This is something you have to "pass through the hurdles", and there will be more or less some stumblings.
In the awkward stage of "running for fourth grade", I found that I didn't know when I started to feel confused and hesitant. Gradually, I see through the intrigues in the workplace, get tired of the flattery around me, and despise the "password" of success by suffering behind the scenes for the sake of being a high-ranking person. From the beginning, you can feel that you are just a piece of "sugar orange". No matter how hard you try, you can't fit into the "garlic" circle of others, and you no longer cynically want to change the world and yourself
Full ideals cannot match the skinny reality. The cruelty of society, the vastness of the world, and the hardships of life are all unfolding ups and downs and unrepeatable yesterday’s stories, so I feel very tired most of the time. There are too many. Too much unintentional busyness will lead to "death".
When your career reaches the "bottleneck period", you can see the "ceiling" when you look up. Now when I look back and think about it carefully, 13 years of struggle just made me live a more dignified life. Sometimes, I stop and touch my shadow gently, "I'm sorry for following me and causing you to suffer." The hair on the temples begins to turn gray and thin, and the eyes no longer pay attention to everything they see, and have nothing to do with themselves. Become empty. As the parents gradually entered their old age, the wife and children began to have misunderstandings and complaints. Traveling around three places, I have become the most ordinary and ordinary person alive. When I wake up, I toss and turn in the middle of the night. I have also asked my soul many times and crossed myself. Is my original intention unchanged and my passion still there? I feel more and more profoundly: There is no room for the body in my hometown, and there is no room for the soul in a foreign country. Therefore, I missed a lot of stories and owed a lot of audiences, but I had to put away my regrets quietly, sort out my emotions and continue to move forward.
Always on the road, paying tribute to everyone who works hard.