I read a book called "Live Well" before, and then I read a book called "The World Is Worth". Both books were written by elderly Japanese people. One was a grandfather who lived to be 100 years old, and the other She is an old woman who lived to be 90 years old. We all know that Japanese people live long lives, and after such a long life journey, they still live in a state of mind until the end.
"The World Is Worth" is a philosophical book about life written by the 90-year-old psychiatrist Grandma Tsuneko Nakamura. It is very small and thin, and the truth is very simple. Maybe we all understand it, but we just can't do it.
Most people always have desires of one kind or another in their hearts, such as wanting to be richer, wanting a bigger house, wanting their children to be more promising, and wanting to live a happier life. In fact, life It is like a bag that a person carries on his back. It is empty at first, and then keeps adding more and more, until it is finally overwhelmed. Everything he wants to pursue ends up being tired of it, and the happiness he hopes for may also become overwhelming. a straw.
What exactly is happiness? Psychologists say that happiness is just a subjective feeling. Even if comparison brings a sense of superiority, it will soon calm down. But if you compare too much, you will fall from the peak to the bottom. Company A gives out bonuses, and you will be happier with the bonus than without it. But when you know that your colleagues around you get more than you, you will immediately feel angry and unfair, let alone happy. In fact, if you think about it from another perspective, something is better than nothing, and you should still be happy.
Grandma Nakamura said, don’t expect too much and be grateful for the little things in life. Life is an experience. It is not necessary to aim at living happily. Happiness is a short-lived feeling. Life will eventually become dull. We just need to feel and experience it.
When faced with difficult people and difficult things, just let them go, just like Ni Ping's grandmother, who still understood, accepted and tolerated her wife who went crazy and lit the house on fire after losing her son. Grandma Nakamura’s other half also loved drinking and neglected her family when she was young, but grandma still tried hard to find fun in her busy work and life.
It is difficult to wake up a person who is pretending to be asleep, and it is even harder to change a person. Instead of wasting your efforts, it is better to focus on "how to live a happy life". The poet Yu Xiuhua faced the reality of cerebral palsy since childhood and a husband who happily divorced her after getting money. She was still immersed in the ocean of poetry, describing her ideals and reality with pen and ink.
Others have other people's lives, and you have your own life. If boundaries are clear, conflict and pressure will be reduced. The secret of interpersonal relationships is the "sense of distance", the insurmountable boundary that must be maintained.
Grandma Nakamura said that even family members have to distinguish between each other and force others to make themselves and the other party suffer. In reality, too many parents desire to control everything about their children, even to the point of morbidity. Zhang Liangying's mother interfered so much in Zhang Liangying's marriage that the mother and daughter fell out, and their relatives turned against each other.
Don’t prevent others from becoming independent. If you take full control, growth will stop. Taiwanese artist Di Ying doted on her son so much that she weaned off breast milk at the age of 12 and participated in a kissing contest with her son for three hours. The mother was not like the mother and the son was not like the son. In the end, when the son was 18 years old, it was revealed that he intended to commit a terrorist attack and was arrested. arrest. It is true that children are the "works" of their parents, but after all, children are human beings and have their own subjective feelings. When children are young, children have no ability to survive and need to rely on their parents' care. However, as they grow older, children will long for their own "right to speak." Parents must learn to slowly give way, know how to let go, and let their children learn to grow up on their own. big.
The same is true for the relationship between husband and wife. There should be space between each other. Some couples always want to control everything and want to know who the other person is with and what they are doing at all times. Some people are just like in the movie "Cell Phone", because they have secrets and don't want others to see them, but it doesn't rule out that some people have strong self-boundaries and don't like others to invade their space. In "The Battle of Love", a couple has a grudge over whether to show each other their mobile phones. Emotional experts say that because you love me, you can show me your mobile phone; and because you love you, I don't need to look at you. mobile phone. As Shu Ting said in "To the Oak Tree", "I must be a kapok tree next to you, standing with you as the image of a tree." Perhaps ideal love should be "intimate and spaced", both independent and dependent on each other. When receiving care from others, don't take what others give for granted, be grateful for what you get, and stop asking for more.
Work and life are standard for adults. When it comes to work, we also have choices. "Before thinking, 'This job is not suitable for me,' try to challenge yourself. Otherwise, people will stop moving forward." Even if you don't like work, it doesn't matter. It's better to do your best than to think blindly. . If you have carefully considered it, you can decide whether to work or not, and no one else has the right to interfere.
The world is worth living. This is the conclusion reached by an old man who has been through more than 90 years. Maybe it was her own life experience, maybe she had seen the joys and sorrows of the world, and she saw through the essence of life. Everyone will experience difficulties at work, hardships in life, and confusion in life. The most important thing is that when facing all these unsatisfactory situations, we can still have the courage to face the next life.
The reason why it is worth it may be that when looking back on the past, the most painful scar becomes a medal for defeating oneself, marking a milestone in life. The world is worth facing bravely, and our bravery deserves a better life.
The years to come are still long and worth looking forward to.
Book excerpt:
1. Many people often determine their own happiness by comparing themselves with others.
2. Think positively about "how to make yourself happy in the current environment."
3. Be happy when you come, and let go when you go.
4. Whether in the workplace or at home, "As long as others give you something, you should be grateful to them."
5. Try to abandon "I am great".
6. Why do people feel uneasy? Because I think too much about the future.