Forever regret 1878, Tagore, 18 years old, was going to study in the UK. Before going abroad, he needs to learn English and English customs. To this end, he left his hometown of Kolkata and came to Mumbai. Tagore was introduced to a doctor's home by his brother. The doctor's daughter Anna, a girl about Tagore's age, became his English teacher.
Anna is a beautiful and kind girl. She grew up in England and traveled around the world with her father. She not only speaks fluent English, but also knows the customs of Britain and other countries. She made friends with Tagore and regarded him as a trustworthy friend. In the process of helping Tagore learn English, Anna found that he was smart and agile, and his study made rapid progress. However, at the end of his study, Tagore's academic performance dropped sharply. He was absorbed and his eyes often showed melancholy eyes.
It turned out that Tagore got news from Calcutta that his sister Damini Jr. was seriously ill. Tagore is 14 the child of his parents. Because there are many children, his parents have no time to take care of him. He grew up sucking his sister's milk. He misses his sister, and then he misses his hometown and his relatives. Now, seeing that he will leave the motherland, how can he not feel sad? Anna understood Tagore's feelings. In order to reduce his homesickness. She had a hard time getting him to finish learning English. Whenever she sees Tagore hiding in his room thinking alone, she tries her best to take him out for a walk or tell him some local customs and anecdotes of various countries. Once, Tagore told Anna that when he was two years old, his sister Xiao Damini gave him a bath, predicting that he was the most promising person in Tagore's family. When Anna heard this, she took the opportunity to enlighten him and said, "If you want to be a promising person, you should go out and see the world, which will be of great help to your poetry writing. You should try your best to realize your sister's wish. " Tagore was inspired by this. Gradually, he settled down.
With Anna's careful help and guidance, Tagore's English level has improved rapidly. In their study, they respect each other. Help each other, form a close friendship, and the seeds of love sprout in their hearts. "-such a gentle and sincere intimate relationship has developed and left an indelible mark on Tagore's memory." When Tagore recalled his life at the age of 80, he wrote: "My harvest is unremarkable. If she despises me, she can't be blamed, but she didn't do it. As I didn't have any treasure house of book knowledge to give her, I told her that I could write poetry the first time we met. This is the only capital I have to attract others. When I told her that I had a gift for poetry creation, I didn't express the slightest doubt and sarcasm, but easily believed it. She asked me to give her a unique name. I chose one for her and she liked it very much. I wanted to weave this name into the music of my own poems, so I wrote a poem for her and put her name in it. When I read the poem to her impassioned, she said,' Poet, I think if I lie on my deathbed, your singing will also bring me back to life. "
It is a good example that women know how to sing praises with exaggeration and win the favor of others. She did it to make me happy. I vaguely remember the first time I heard her praise for my appearance. She expressed this compliment in a very gentle way. For example, once, she solemnly warned me never to grow a beard, saying not to let anything else cover my face. As we all know, I didn't listen to this advice, but she didn't live long enough to witness me disobeying her instructions. "
He gave her a beautiful Bangladeshi name-"Narini", which became the name of the fictional lover in the long narrative poem The Poet's Story. He often reads this long poem to her and translates it into English for her. Later, this long poem was published, and Tagore's youngest brother sent it to her from Calcutta-Ben (no doubt, this was based on his younger brother living in England). She received this pamphlet and wrote to thank him, saying, "How many times has Rabin read this poem for me and translated it so that I can recite it?" She told Robin Delanat? Many poems written by Tagore gave encouragement, and her favorite character was Nalini.
Although this short love episode did not surpass simple friendship, it left an eternal mark on Tagore's mind. He happily wrote poems in his notebook, describing his complicated and delicate psychological state at that time. Anna was quickly attracted by this handsome and talented poet, and she felt a sense of admiration. She always approached Tagore actively, which made him angry and excited. Sometimes she sneaks up from behind and blindfolds him; Sometimes she grabbed his hand, pretended to test his strength, pulled him hard, and then suddenly let go and fell into his arms. One day, when she was teaching the secrets of English life and manners, she told Tagore that whoever can steal a sleeping woman's gloves has the right to kiss her. "She was lying in an easy chair, and I suddenly saw her sleeping soundly. When she opened her eyes, she took a quick look at her gloves, only to find that they were left intact, and no one thought of stealing them. " Tagore, a young boy, gained happiness in this game and felt the desire for love. However, he is too simple and narcissistic to understand the full meaning of this hint.
One evening, when they were walking in the suburbs, Tagore casually wrote a poem about the scenery. Anna praised, "It's beautifully written, just like your people." Oh, if only you could write poems by my side often! "These words clearly expressed the girl's affection. Tagore was very excited when he heard this. He couldn't help holding the girl's hand and wanted to pour out his love to her. But he-thinking that he will be far away from the motherland-will go for several years, and he is afraid of delaying the girl's youth. At the same time, he also heard two songs about Anna's father busy preparing for her engagement these days. He hesitated, but finally he didn't have the courage to woo the girl, leaving himself a bitter fruit.
That night, Tagore couldn't sleep. He heard the girl in Anna's room next door turning over. He sat up in his clothes, looking out the window at the brilliance of the Milky Way, and his heart fluctuated constantly. He wrote this poem with imagination: I dreamed that she was sitting next to my head, fingering my hair gently, playing the harmony she touched, and I looked at her face, and the crystal tears trembled until the pain of being unable to speak burned my sleep like a bubble.
..... I don't know if she has a dream with the same rhythm as me at this moment.
Months passed and Tagore embarked on a journey to England. Anna saw him off before he left. On the dock, the poet bowed deeply to the girl and said affectionately, "Goodbye, Nellini, I hope you take care!" " At this moment, he suddenly saw tears in the girl's eyes. Tagore really wanted to turn and run to Anna and pour out his infinite attachment to her. However, he finally hesitated and did not do it.
Tagore's breakup with Anna turned out to be a farewell. Soon, Anna was forced to marry a man who was more than 20 years older than her. He has no love for Anna at all, and only regards her as a tool for giving birth to children. In this loveless life, Anna was unhappy all day, often hiding from crying, and died in loneliness in less than a year.
1880, the poet returned to the motherland. He was very sad when he heard the news of Anna's death. Tagore regretted it very much. He hated that he didn't have the courage to be a man. He boldly confided his pure love to Anna. But-too late. Now, he wants to say that he has always missed her, he will never forget her charming image, and he has always appreciated her love. He came to Anna's grave and comforted the souls of his relatives with his deep confession: "When everything in the world disappeared, you were completely reborn in my sadness. I feel that my life has been completed, and men and women have always been a body for me. "
The charming Anna brought youthful happiness to the poet. Tagore always mentioned her with deep affection and great respect in private conversations, private letters and his life in the year of his tomb: "In some years, in Kolkata, some strange birds flew to nest on our banyan tree. They flew back before I learned to spread my wings well, but they flew in the distant forest with unusual and charming music. Similarly, in our life journey, the goddess floating from a strange direction told us her inner language and opened the boundary of our spiritual strength. She came uninvited, and finally when we started calling her, Hao disappeared without a trace. However, when she left, she had embroidered magnificent lace on my boring latitude and longitude lines, which made us full of happiness day and night. "
Tagore's marriage (1883), the whole family talked in whispers about choosing a suitable spouse for the young poet. Tagore's father was an open progressive in religious affairs, but he was extremely conservative in maintaining social customs. He asked the future daughter-in-law to be a girl of Brahman caste. Although the Tagore family has established its social status in property, knowledge and morality, they are "inferior Brahmins", and those Brahmins who claim to have a high caste are unwilling to marry them. Therefore, their choice can only be limited to those Brahmin families who live in the small town of Kistler in Bilali. There, my father chose a Velimata who was looking for a job in Tagore's house. 10-year-old daughter of Mr. La Yeqiaotali, as Tagore's future wife.
Compared with the Tagore family with a large population, the La Yechotali family has a lower status and the girl is not very beautiful. Moreover, after studying in Bangladesh for only one year, she is almost illiterate. The most romantic poet's unromantic marriage was thus hastily settled. As far as social customs and traditions at that time were concerned, it was not surprising to do so; It is not surprising that Tagore acquiesced in this marriage. Although he is so energetic and full of romantic passion in literary creation, he is a dutiful son who obeys his father's orders.
However, his father's arbitrary and inappropriate choice did not have any bad influence on Tagore. This ordinary daughter-in-law is a good wife and mother, which is very necessary for him. He does not lack any creative enthusiasm, and his love for life and the earth gives him an eternal source of creation. He is an ardent visionary and needs no encouragement from his wife or others. His wife is really a virtuous wife, who silently contributes to him, helps him and promotes his genius development.
1883 September 1 1, the wedding was held in the hometown of Jolla Sango. The bride's original name is Pazdalini, which sounds very old-fashioned. After marriage, she changed her name to Maurines Rini. This beautiful name may have been given by her husband, which is the only proof that Tagore showed enthusiasm in the whole incident. The name of Nerini-haunts his mind, as if it were also included in Molinarini.
1886 Tagore was 25 years old when his first daughter was born and named Matuleda. Two years later, his son Lottie was born. The couple love each other. On one occasion, Tagore went out on a trip and wrote to his wife: "On Sunday night, I felt out of my wits. I found myself in jolasango. You sleep on one side of the big bed, and Belle and Belle (that is, daughter Bella and son Rorty Delanat) sleep next to you.
I touched you with endless love and whispered in your ear:' daughter-in-law, remember, I left my body and came to see you tonight. When I come back from abroad, I will ask you: Do you feel my existence? Then, I kissed Belle and Beibei and turned around. "The deep affection between husband and wife can be seen from this.
However, it seems that God brought great pain to Tagore's head in order to test the piety and strength of new believers: his wife Maurines Rini? Dewei was seriously ill and died on123. Rorty Delanne, his eldest son, wrote when recalling this sad event: "Before the doctor lost hope, my mother knew in her heart that her death was coming. The last time I went to her bedside, she was speechless, but when I saw her, tears suddenly rolled out of her eyes. The next morning, we came to the balcony of my mother's room. An ominous silence hung over the whole family, as if the shadow of death had crept into the house in the middle of the night. In the evening, in order to keep warm memories, my father put on a pair of slippers for my mother. The balance in my father's heart has never been destroyed by the ups and downs of life and the confusion of pain. No misfortune has shaken his inner peace, no matter how deep it is. Later, the son confirmed that his father "... endured physical torture with extraordinary perseverance." Once, a scorpion stung him, and he sat quietly with his legs outstretched, trying to think that pain exists not only in his own body, but also in such a separate entity, and the existence of this entity has nothing to do with his real self. The success of this practice gave him the strength to resist physical and mental torture. "
Although he persevered in the pain, it didn't abate. When his wife was alive, he didn't fully evaluate her love and didn't return it. This regret aggravated his pain. They are combined according to traditional customs, not love marriage. When his wife first came into his life, Tagore tolerated her instead of welcoming her-this situation cannot be ruled out at all.
She is neither beautiful nor charming; Too young to be his partner. When they got married, she was only 1 1 years old. At the age of 22, Tagore was already a handsome and enthusiastic young man, intoxicated with his genius. But she grew up slowly, and made up for her lack of charm with her down-to-earth actions, gentle and lofty quality and extraordinary talent in housework. All the people were warmly received at her home.
For 20 years, she took care of Tagore's life with infinite piety and gave birth to five children. Although she is young and lives in an aristocratic and educated environment, her clothes are very simple and she may never wear any expensive jewelry. She happily took her husband's pure ideal as her own.
She only objected when Tagore stopped her from dressing her children in colorful clothes. Of course, there is no doubt that she is embarrassed in coordinating her husband's fantasies and words and deeds: on the one hand, he emphasizes simplicity and frugality; On the other hand, he hopes to receive his guests and visitors ceremoniously and warmly. Fortunately, at that time, her ability to master the art of cooking helped a lot. When they went on a trip, the poet emphasized that only essential things should be brought, especially those pots and pans, and he frowned. Without saying a word, she quietly hid these things in the basket and said with a smile, "You are a strange man! My friends were coming when I got there. Where can I buy a delicious pie? " Illiteracy did not last long. She not only mastered Bengali, but also learned English and Sanskrit. At her husband's strict request, she rewrote the simple Sanskrit Ramayana in Bengali. Not only that, she also performed Tagore's play The King and Queen. Her analysis of the role is really incisive. So not surprisingly, in the end, she won her place in her husband's heart. Tagore provided a lot of evidence for his loyalty when she was ill-he nursed her day and night for two months and refused to hire a professional nurse. There were no electric fans at that time. Someone described what he saw with his own eyes, saying that Tagore sat straight by his young wife's bed and slowly shook his fan. After her death, he paced up and down the balcony all night, forbidding his family to disturb him.
As usual, his sadness this time is also reflected in his poems. There are 27 of these poems, which are published in the form of a collection of poems, Memories. Whether it is affectionate and tender feelings or simple feelings, it is commendable. Some critics express regret that these sad poems are not passionate enough, but they may be really naive. Tagore's sincere feelings are strongly reflected in that kind of pain-an irreparable loss that he feels every day, devouring his whole body and mind. There is not much self-pity, but it is expressed in a touching form: today, the light in the quiet bed has turned into a huge sad darkness. I stayed up all night, sitting in a painful bed. The long night passed and the morning came.
He got a gift from his wife, but she died before she got his gift. The only thing he can do now is to give the gift he got to God: she lives on earth and has always given me everything.
I want to return her gift now. Where can I put this dedication? She was alive at night, but God took her away in the morning.
Today, I can only give you a gift of gratitude.
He looked everywhere for what he lost at home, and he found that now he could never see her in this land again.
I pray that God will stop at my house. I have lost my territory and will never recover it. I tried to find it again at the ends of the earth. I am the master of your vast world. Today, in the infinite void, I came to your threshold to look for it.
Among his wife's belongings, he found a stack of letters he gave her. She regarded it as a huge treasure and kept it carefully. When he saw them, his heart was full of ups and downs and his thoughts were full. He begged and begged, and the memory of her was woven into his life in an orderly way, just as she kept his family life in order. ...