One
It’s really strange. When I live in a small room, my mind is filled with daydreams about thousands of miles away. However, when I write travel notes about famous mountains and rivers in various places, I often feel a little quiet. The fixed dot is vague in front of my eyes, maybe it's an old man I met by chance, maybe it's a bird that always stops next to me but can't be chased away, maybe it's a haystack that made me doze off. Sometimes it may not be something you encounter during the journey, but a memory highlight that will emerge wherever you go, flashing and flickering, making a few pins fall on the fluttering line of life.
Yes, if life is a drawn line, then there are only some points that have retained value.
Omit those long withered threads, just remember those few points, it is actually rich enough.
For this reason, I will make an exception to write about a flower in my travel notes. It is a wintersweet, located not far away, in a hospital in the western suburbs of Shanghai.
It is a peaceful light spot that often flickers in and out of my mind during my busy schedule.
2
No matter how tiptoe you are, you will get sick sometimes. Being admitted to the hospital may be the biggest psychological contrast for a performer. I need physical strength but no physical strength, and I need space but no space. I am waiting in embarrassment and helplessness, not knowing when I will be able to take the next step in my life.
It seems that God rewards hard work and punishes hard work. Your usual steps were too carefree, so you rushed to this small courtyard to stop for a while and relax. Whether you like it or not, get used to it or not.
The hospital I stayed in that time was originally the private residence of a wealthy foreign businessman. There were many trees in the yard, but unfortunately it was winter and they were all withered. I am used to seeing beautiful mountains and rivers, my eyes are full of hunger and thirst, and I look for green among the trees all day long. However, what I saw was just a mixture of earthy brown colors, just clusters of the same style of ward uniforms spinning around repeatedly, and the more I looked at them, the more annoyed I became. The patients occasionally stopped and chatted for a few words, but they did not dare to ask each other more questions out of politeness. Only two patients talked loudly and laughed every chance they got. The nurse said they were terminally ill. Their cheerfulness is very respected, but everyone knows that this requires a very strong spiritual support. Few people listened to their talk and laughter, because everyone couldn't come up with so many comforting reactions and forced laughter. Nurses often accompany them for walks, and everyone looks at their backs from a distance.
Patients like to go to bed early and get up early. It is dawn and the yard is already crowded with people. Everyone hurriedly took a deep breath and moved their hands and feet, for fear that it would be bright enough to see the bare branches and leaves and the sickly face. It's just that at this time, everything will be awake, the air is cold and refreshing, open your mouth and nose, and grab a glimpse of the dim morning.
Day after day, just passed. Suddenly one morning, everyone felt that the air was a little strange. They looked around in horror and found a group of people gathered in the corner of the yard. I quickly walked over and stood on tiptoe to take a look. In the middle of the crowd was a wintersweet, its newly grown yellow petals reflected in the faint morning light. People who walked in were still chanting its name, but they stopped talking as soon as they came to it. An elegant and clean fragrance had already frightened everyone. If you deliberately take a breath to smell, you won't smell anything. When you don't smell, your nose will be full of it, and your body and mind will be dyed all at once.
A flower is just a flower that has just bloomed, but here, it is a camel bell in the desert, a pavilion in a barren mountain, a rain after a long drought, and a clear sky after a long rain. The patients looked at it for a while, then slowly turned aside and gave up their seats to the people crowded behind. They walked around the yard twice, stopped here again, and waited patiently behind the crowd. From then on, the walk around the hospital became a circle of arcs with wintersweet as the center.
Three
Inpatients are more or less neurotic. The world is small, the body and mind are fragile, and no matter what you think about, you can't get rid of it. I heard that many hospital patients will have some emotional involvement with enthusiastic and kind nurses. This cannot be entirely blamed on the patients for being playful, but a natural projection of a fragile mentality. When they are discharged from the hospital and their body and mind return to normal, everything will be a thing of the past.
Now, all the patients' emotions are projected on wintersweet, with an extraordinary obsession. Two patients in the same ward with me said they smelled the aroma of wintersweet when they woke up in the morning. One even said that he was simply awakened by the aroma. In fact, our ward is not close to wintersweet, at least four or five years apart. Ten meters.
In my opinion, this wintersweet is indeed worthy of the obsession of patients. All kinds of miscellaneous trees and branches got out of the way around it, and it stood majestically in a clearing, allowing people to see its entire posture. The branches are twisting and vigorous, darkly covered with the wrinkles of time. Just looking at the branches, it seems that they have died long ago, and only a sad historical shape is stretched here. It is really hard to imagine that so much fresh life suddenly surged out from the top of such a branch. The petals are yellow without a trace of turbidity, so light that they have no texture, leaving only patches of color, delicate and transparent. There are no other colors in the whole yard, as if the fallen leaves and yellow branches have been making progress all autumn, and the cold weather and ground have been making progress all winter, all of which are paving the way for this wintersweet. The plum petals tremble slightly in the cold wind, and this tremor can shake the entire azure sky. The patients no longer hate winter. In front of the wintersweet, everyone understands that the beauty and fragrance in the world can only be accompanied by the cold. There is only one word left for the aesthetic concept here: cold eyes.
It adds several flowers every day, so counting flowers and buds has become a major event in each ward. Arguments often occur. If the argument cannot be resolved, we go to the flower branches and count them carefully. This sometimes happens at night, and patients will even throw on their clothes and get up, burying their heads among flower branches under the moonlight on a cold night. The wintersweet under the moonlight is especially holy. It is dark all around, only the crystal petals are far away facing the bright moon. The fragrance mixed with the night air is intoxicating.
One morning when I woke up, the weather was extremely cold. When I opened the window, I saw heavy snowfall, and the whole yard was covered in silver. The wintersweet becomes more eye-catching, standing tall and graceful on its own, highlighted by the silver-white world into a fairy-like figure with graceful luck. Several young patients wanted to rush to watch in the snow, but the nurses stopped them. The nurse whispered, we are all patients, how can we bear such wind and cold? Come back soon!
The patients standing on the veranda on the ground floor and the balcony on the second floor looked at the wintersweet tenderly. Some people say that such heavy snow must have knocked off many petals; others disagree, saying that heavy snow will only encourage more buds to bloom. The argument finally moved a nurse, who volunteered to brave the snow to count the numbers. The nurse was young and slender. As soon as she stepped out, her white clothes melted into the heavy snow. She walked lightly to the wintersweet, smoothed her hair, then lowered her head and counted them carefully. She must have learned some dancing, and her figure when counting flowers is reminiscent of "The Goddess Scatters Flowers". Finally, she straightened up, smiled at the building, and announced a number in the heavy snow, causing all the patients upstairs and downstairs to cheer. The numbers prove that after a night of heavy snow, the wintersweet blossoms increased in number and did not wither.
At the end of this month, the hospital asked patients to select outstanding nurses, and this nurse who braved the snow and counted flowers won unanimous votes.
A few days later, it suddenly started raining heavily. It usually doesn’t rain so heavily in Shanghai in winter, and all the patients suddenly crowded into the corridor and in front of the balcony. Everyone understands that our wintersweet is really in trouble now. Those with sharp eyes could clearly see the petals under the flower branches. The rain is getting heavier and heavier, and some petals have rushed to the eaves. The patients look up at the sky with sad faces and sigh. At this moment, a clear voice sounded in my ears: "I'm going to set up an umbrella!"
This was the voice of another nurse. The nurse who braved the snow and counted the plum blossoms did not go to work today. Although this nurse is tall and tall, she is still a bit childish. She holds a red silk umbrella in her hand and looks around. As if meeting a savior, people looked at her silently and forgot to thank her. One patient suddenly stopped her and said that the red umbrella was too dazzling and did not match the wintersweet. The nurse pouted, turned back to her office, and took out a yellow silk umbrella. Some of the patients objected, saying that yellow would cover up the wintersweet. Fortunately, the umbrellas used by the nurses come in many colors, so I finally settled on a purple silk umbrella.
The nurse wore milky white rain boots and came to the flower with a purple umbrella. She tied the umbrella to the branch with a rope. After she was tied up, another nurse went to help her with an umbrella, and the two girls came back with their arms around each other's shoulders.
Four
Spring is here, and the wintersweet has finally withered. The patients were discharged from the hospital in batches. Before being discharged, they all went to see the wintersweet tree for a while.
All kinds of trees have sprouted green buds, the grass on the ground has begun to grow, and the patient's complexion and eyes have gradually become clearer. Soon, many flowers will bloom here, and bees and butterflies will come through the wall.
The most difficult thing to endure in the ward is winter. In winter, we had a wintersweet.
At this time, the wintersweet withered and hid again, mottled and old, like a dead branch.
Several patients are making a bet: "This winter, I will come in and see the wintersweet again!"
The nurse said: "You will not come back again. "We don't want healthy people to mess around. It's a good idea to go on a journey when you are healthy. This wintersweet is only for patients."
After that, he blushed slightly.