Appreciation of excerpts from the 2012 High School Entrance Examination Essays
Author/Luo Xiaojun
Keywords There is always a kind of opening that will make your heart beat.
Remember the lazy sunshine flowing freely through the sky, and the ground was full of my broken figure; remember the inner touch when the dandelion danced the song of breaking free and crossed the beautiful arc; remember the moment when the cocoon turned into a butterfly In the spring, I stretched out my arms and spread my wings freely under the blue sky. ("The road ahead is still a road" written by a candidate from Lianyungang)
One sentence review
Using wonderful parallelism to string together poetic scenery, the text suddenly shines.
A few rays of bleak sunshine shine through the dim sky, and the dark clouds are also filled with a touch of sadness. How many bleak alleys are there in the hazy front, and how many broken-winged butterflies will be outlined. , outline the faint fragrance of ink... (Mudanjiang candidate "I like the days when catkins fly")
One sentence comment
Integrate your own lost emotions into the unique scenery, It has the effect of writing affectionately.
In June, the sun stumbled into my room and scattered on the ground. The summer breeze passed through the hall, and it was another warm afternoon. The temperature was just right, making me feel at ease. Close your eyes and let your thoughts wander in the wind. I remember a lot, bit by bit, every detail. About the sunshine, about a certain June, about your eyes as bright as stars, about a small corner. (Chengdu candidate "Going Through That Corner")
One sentence comment
Introduce the theme from the scenery and create a unique artistic conception.
Who said falling flowers are not beautiful? It’s just that we left the world of mortals and nourished the world of the past! Who says residual lotus isn't beautiful? That path is faded in green and contains the essence of midsummer! Who says autumn grass isn’t beautiful? Stop teaching that wild fire, and give you back the beauty of spring! Beauty or not, it all depends on one thought. Discover beauty in life and look for it with beautiful eyes! (Anhui candidate's "Beauty is Within")
One sentence comment
It is wonderful to elicit philosophy from the scenery.
"The wild flowers are gradually enchanting the eyes, and the shallow grass can have no horse hooves." Bai Juyi's poems inadvertently made me fall in love with the spring with luxuriant grass and flowers on the ground; "The bright moon leaves the branches and the magpies are startled." "Cicadas chirping in the breeze in the middle of the night", Xin Qiji's poems, and inadvertently brought me closer to the summer nights when cicadas sing and frogs chirp; "The mountains are bright and the water is clear, frost comes at night, and several trees are deep red and light yellow", Liu Yuxi's poems , let me always be intoxicated in the elegant, quiet and colorful autumn colors. (Hebei candidate "My Close Contact with Chinese Language")
One sentence comment
It is wonderful to use parallelism to string together three good sentences from three poets.
A thunderbolt struck this lonely hut. I was shocked and my heart beat extremely violently. My father left, quietly. The sky suddenly wiped away the thick shadow of love and sprinkled layers of dark clouds, silently crushing the mother's weak heart. Suddenly, I heard a chaotic sound like glass falling to the ground. (Jiangxi Candidate "Leigao Yourself") One-sentence review
The writing makes waves and makes people unable to bear to put down the paper.
Keywords Those refreshing endings
Jiangnan is such a charming hometown and such a pure and beautiful book. Jiangnan, you are a book to me. The bluebird has flown through the misty rain for countless seasons. Reading you makes me fall in love with the harmony and tranquility. (Ningbo Candidate "You Are My Book")
One sentence review
It ends in description and has a beautiful artistic conception.
Time is like a song. I don’t know if everyone has a scene or a memory in their heart. As the years grow, it turns into a song in the heart, either soothing and melodious, or tinkling. Boom boom. But in the bottom of my heart, childhood is like a melodious song. When the sails have passed and the dust has settled, it will always sing quietly in the depths of my heart... (Gansu Candidate "Songs from the Deep")
One sentence review
There are exquisite metaphors and poetic pictures, and the ending is also poetic.
At dusk, half is sky and half is earth. On the dark green field ridge, there are three figures moving, two big ones and one small one. This is another oil painting, probably painted by Miller, the "painter of the earth". The title of this oil painting is "Three Generations of Ancestors and Grandchildren", and the subtitle is "Love". (Yangzhou Candidate "Can't Live Without You")
One sentence comment
A poetic picture leads to the affectionate word "love".
Sheep have the kindness of kneeling down to breastfeed, and crows have the kindness of feeding back. When family affection, the sweetest bond in the world, is becoming a luxury, I call out from the bottom of my heart: Filial piety cannot wait, even for a foot wash, a warm word, or a combing of hair. (Shanghai Candidate "Feeling Happy")
One sentence comment
It concludes with an ancient saying, full of extraordinary appeal.
She shook her head freely and shrugged. Outside the window, the sun is shining brightly and birds are chirping; in the fields, the green waves are undulating and full of life. Everything is so alive. At that moment, her heart felt so happy and warm. Oh, the girl sitting quietly in front of the window is none other than me! (Shanghai Candidate "Feeling Happy")
One sentence review
The scenery brings out oneself, and the plot suddenly brings new ideas.
In the shadow of the lamp and the sound of the oar, the sky is still cold and the water is still cold. In the dream, silk and bamboo sing softly, the mountain is Guigen Mountain and the water is the water of forgetful love. No matter where I wander in the future, you will be with me. You are the eternal book in my heart, which can calm my impetuous heart because of the clear lake. (Ningbo candidate "You Are My Book")
One sentence comment
It elicits insights from the scenery, and the theme becomes profound.
One stroke of the key word makes things come alive on the paper
Until one day, it was also in June, when the weather was unpredictable. Embarrassed, he ran home in a hurry. Turning a small corner, I looked up and saw your eyes as bright as stars. Wearing a bright yellow dress and holding an orange umbrella, you are like a ray of sunshine, falling through the dark clouds and falling in front of me. You pulled me and asked with concern: "Why, you didn't bring an umbrella? Let's go together!" I felt the warmth in your palms, just the right amount of warmth, which made me feel at ease. I lowered my head and whispered: "Thank you." (Chengdu candidate "Crossing That Corner")
One sentence review
Beautiful eyes and beautiful clothes make the characters Jumping onto the paper.
The old woman held my hand affectionately, and a smile rippled on her face: "Good girl, you are very sensible! You will definitely be rewarded. Good people will be rewarded. Good people will eventually be rewarded." There will be good rewards!" Looking at the old woman's smiling face, the wrinkles naturally relaxed, and I felt an infinite sense of joy in my heart. The sun is more sensible, shuttles between the clouds, and finally emerges, and the remaining gloom is also dissipating. All I could see outside the car window was the beautiful scenery. (Weifang candidate "Life is wonderful because of courtesy")
One sentence comment
It is clever to use beautiful scenery to set off the beauty of the characters.
I dare not disturb this quiet and beautiful artistic conception. After a long time, I couldn't suppress the curiosity in my heart, so I said to my mother: "Mom, what were you thinking about just now?" After listening to my words, two groups of red clouds suddenly rose on my mother's face, and she pursed her lips: "I I saw my shadow in them. I had long hair at that time, and it was also a night like this when I had a farewell party with my high school classmates. It was such a beautiful time. When I think about it now, it still feels like a dream. Same." I was a little surprised, but I didn't expect that my casual question hit the mark. Yes, everyone has their most beautiful youth, which is treasured in their hearts. After many years, it becomes wine, which becomes more mellow and fragrant with age. (Mianyang candidate "The Most Beautiful Years")
One sentence review
The subtle depiction of the characters' expressions is extremely lifelike.
Suddenly the train stopped without warning. A group of people immediately poured out of the waiting room, instantly breaking the tranquility of the night. The car door opened and people crowded in. The noise woke me up from my deep sleep. I turned my head and let my eyes wander. An old and frail couple caught my gaze. The old woman's body was constantly being rubbed by the bustling flow of people. Even though she had moved inside, she was still unavoidable. At this time, the old man stood up, surrounded the old woman with his arms, and blocked the flow of people with his body. His graying crew cut and thin figure gave people a sense of vicissitudes of life, but the smile on his face was like a smiling flower that kept blooming on his face. (Jingzhou candidate "Because of Love")
One sentence review
It is impressive to use a noisy environment to set off the virtues of the characters.
Walking on the neat and flat road, the little boy pointed to the sky excitedly: "Dad, look at the stars!" The father happily looked in the direction of his finger. Under the shining of the moonlight, There were wrinkles of varying depths in the corners of the father's eyes, like ripples of river water, flowing into the distance... The father pointed at the towering buildings, lowered his head with sincerity, and said to his son: "Son, when you see that Have you built a building? If you only have the dream of building a house without bricks, the dream cannot be realized, do you understand?" The little boy stared into his father's eyes and nodded seriously. (Henan Candidate "Dreams and Actions")
One sentence comment
It elicits insights from the scenery, and the theme becomes profound.
Keywords: stunningly beautiful ripples in her heart
After a long time, she opened a window. Suddenly, a burst of fresh air hit my face, refreshing my heart and mind. She took a deep breath of the unique breath of spring and was intoxicated by it. "It's a wonderful world out there," she sang. At this moment, all the complaints, worries, and sorrows disappeared. The vast world outside the window supported her narrow spiritual space and broke the rules and regulations she had set for herself. She only felt that for a moment, she was as light as a swallow, as if she was about to fly. She leaned out and sang loudly, and the birds chirped and danced to her cheerful melody, flying high and fluttering low. Her heart was filled with joy and excitement. At this moment, she felt like a small boat that had taken off its burden and raised its sails, waiting to sail away, full of energy, passion and hope. (Shanghai candidate "Feeling Happy")
One-sentence review
Use metaphors to describe the feeling of excitement in the heart, and the pen and ink are vivid and vivid.
That day, at the dinner table, my mother said, I just want you to live well in the future. At that time, my heart felt cold, which was the deeper cold after the warmth. Tears quietly dropped into the bowl. I looked at her quietly, and suddenly I found that there were some traces of time on her face, and aging began to wrap around her. I suddenly felt heartache.
My mother seemed to be aware of my emotions. She didn't say anything, she just stood up and held me in her arms. At that moment, I was so happy. I think as long as my mother is here, I can still cry in her arms. In front of her, I will always be a child who will never grow up. In this world, as long as your mother is there, there will always be a light on in your home all night long, and you will not worry about finding the direction of your home. You cry, there will always be someone more heartbroken than you. Lying in my mother's arms, I was so happy, as if the whole world had fallen into darkness, but I could still find the light. (Anhui Candidate "Happiness Is Within")
One-sentence review
This paragraph is one of the best in describing the feeling of loss.
There was silence all around, without the bustle and noise of thousands of lights in the evening, as if everything had already fallen asleep. Looking up at the sky, the moon, which is not yet full, hangs lonely in the sky, emitting a bleak light with sleepy eyes. Surrounding it, apart from a few sparse stars, there was only boundless darkness. I can't help but sigh: Moon, are you lonely? On such a night, apart from the few pitiful stars, who else can accompany you and understand you? Moon, are you afraid? There is so much unfathomable darkness around us, can you illuminate it? Thinking about this, my eyes are moist, for the moon and for myself. (Hebei candidate "My Close Contact with Moonlight")
One sentence review
It is appropriate and subtle to write about the feeling of loneliness on a moonlit night.
I still remember that evening when the heavy rain suddenly hit. Dark clouds like ink covered the sky, and the world seemed to be coming to an end, which was terrifying. You carried me in your car, struggling in the mud. The car squeaked and groaned, accompanied by the violent wind and rain. I hid behind you, holding your waist tightly with both hands, and pressed my body tightly against your back, as if if I let go, you and I would be scattered by the wind. At that time, I suddenly discovered that your rickety back was no longer rickety, and your forward leaning posture was no longer leaning forward. Ah, Dad, no matter how naughty or ignorant your daughter is, she still knows that you are trying your best to erect a solid barrier for me to block the invasion of wind and rain. Dad, do you know that what is flowing down your back is not only the rain, but also the tears of your daughter? (Hebei candidate "My Close Contact with Dad")
One sentence review
Without detailed description, how can there be tears of emotion.
Keywords: those quietly moving movements
I walked up to my mother mysteriously with a comb in my hand, "Mom, I know you have been tired for a while, hurry up Sit on the sofa and have a rest, and let me comb your hair. The book says that combing your hair can eliminate fatigue." Mom leaned on the sofa obediently and closed her eyes happily. I took the comb and ran it along my mother's hair, gently combing it from the middle to both sides. Suddenly, I was surprised to find that there were several dazzling silver strands in my mother's originally dark and shiny hair, which was shocking. . What's going on here? You know, my mother is not yet forty years old! Oh, this is all for our family! The hand holding the comb didn't work at all. The attentive mother was obviously aware of it and quickly asked: "Baby, what's wrong with you?" I quickly rubbed my eyes with my hands and said, "No, it's nothing. It's probably a hair that touched my eyes." (Shanghai Candidate "Heart" "Blissful")
One sentence review
It's really not a big deal, combing my mother's hair can still be shocking.
I enjoyed her kindness to me with peace of mind, thinking that this kind of happiness would last forever. Unexpectedly, parting came suddenly. That day, I held the bowl of rice noodles and turned my back to her without saying a word. She didn't say anything, just patted my shoulder and sat down quietly next to me. After a while, she said softly: "I'm going back to Changsha." "..." I didn't say anything for a while, not knowing how to answer. She just sighed and said, "This business is getting harder and harder. It's time for me to go back and see my daughter." Unexpectedly, I started crying. After so many years, she is not only the owner of the rice noodle shop, but also my neighbor. She has become an indispensable relative in my life! (Yiyang Candidate "Sail")
One sentence review
One "beat", one "sigh", one "hold" and one "cry", showing the emotions of the two people in a delicate and moving way .
On the flat sand dunes, I looked up at the sky alone. The moonlight was covered by dark clouds, and the stars also penetrated into the thick clouds. There was no singing of insects, birds, or the laughter of the wind. Everything was peaceful. It was so quiet that I couldn't help but shudder, and hugged my knees tightly with both hands. Tears of disappointment fell again, and my mind was once again filled with the shameless test scores. You came and walked so softly that I couldn't seem to hear your voice until you put your coat on me with your warm hands, slowly sat beside me, and held me in your arms: "What? Are you still here?" Are you thinking about grades?" I nodded mechanically, not daring to look into your eyes again. "Don't worry! Everything will pass. Don't you always say that tomorrow will be better? Believe in yourself." (Jingzhou candidate "Because of Love")
One sentence comment
A few The actions that happened one after another made a touching scene appear before your eyes.
Every morning is as busy as a charge, and the family’s rice bowl is always taken by the last one to leave, and even left until evening. Lunch is eaten separately at work or school, so only dinner symbolizes reunion and relaxation.
Therefore, washing the dishes naturally became an opportunity for the daughter to show her filial piety. While washing dishes, I chatted and laughed with my family, and I didn’t feel tired at all. If the song "Wash" is playing on the TV at this time, on a whim, I will dance with my chopsticks, tap the bowl, and hum along with the music. Occasionally I look up out of the window at the lights of thousands of houses, thinking that maybe there is the same atmosphere under every lamp, and I can't help but feel satisfied. In the warm light, a layer of bluish-white halo flows on each bowl. Every time at this time, a touch of warmth and a touch of satisfaction will surge in my heart. (Shanghai Candidate "Feeling Happy")
One sentence review
The ability to write about washing dishes so beautifully lies in the description of actions.
I touched the TV set carefully, carefully lifted off the cover, carefully wiped off the dust, and then pressed the button. Huh? Why no images? When I turned around and looked at it, I was like, "I don't know if I can't see it. I'm so upset after seeing it!" It turned out that I was too excited just now and forgot to plug in the power supply. No, the damn plug was lying firmly on the ground and "sleeping". I am so angry! I ran forward almost frantically and plugged it in hard. "Ding Lingling..." A rapid phone ringing sounded. I shuddered violently, and my heated nerves gradually cooled down. (Jiangxi Candidate "The Strongest Self")
One sentence review
A series of interesting actions make the nervous psychology of the characters vividly appear on the page.