However, due to the format, the artistic conception is often limited, more or less. I appreciate this article sent by the landlord and find out some places that I feel dissatisfied with.
I dare not say absolutely, but I really can't blend in with the artistic conception of this poem and dare not evaluate myself. My humble opinion is shallow. If you have disrespect, please forgive me.
1. The word "dare" is awkward to use. Why not? If you sing by yourself, you will feel better about yourself.
2. Shooting surface. The sunshine is real, but it is a bit discordant. Face to face, face to face, face to face may be better.
3. Jiang Wei's northland, Zhou Nan, Twitch, is a bit chaotic.
4. The antithesis of couplets is not very neat, dangerous, red and sad. I long for Belin to mention the North, and Zhou Nan is really a small country.
5. The scene is a mess. The first place is the garden, willow trees are on the shore, bananas are in the garden, northland, southland and small building.
6. The word "Yi" may not be used well.
7. There is no central meaning in the poem, and there is no accurate emotional tone. It seems that I just wrote a heat, just to write a scene, and lost the value of chanting.
Also, I also suggest that the landlord should not comment on other people's poems elsewhere. I feel guilty myself, but I still have some confidence to speak out, not to mention that there are quite a few other experts I have seen in Baidu because of my good writing. Can not be translated into other styles, which is a violation of cultural copyright. Although it will not be prosecuted, it is a disrespect for the original author.